Best Of LaffGaff - Funny Clean Jokes
LaffGaff is all about funny clean jokes and over time we've published thousands of them. And we thought it was time we put together a compilation of some of our favorite ones, so you can enjoy them all in one place.
And so we proudly present our best funny clean jokes...
There wasn't a dry eye in the house.
It turns out my customers didn't like it when I tried to go the extra mile.
She said, "I told you not to call me Mom in front of people."
I shouted, "You're kidding! Really?"
He said, "Yes. Get your things together, they're coming to pick you up in an hour."
It doesn't cure it but it keeps the bed sheets off my legs at night.
None. They just compliment it and then get mad when it won't screw.
I said, "Good idea - we can cover more ground that way."
My friend gave it to me as he was dying.
It seemed very important to him that I have it.
I don't think I can ever repay you.
Prophets are going through the roof.
Men are so polite, they only look at the other 10%.
Because it's white and settles on their land.
Only a fraction of people will find this funny.
The people in Dubai don't like The Flintstones, but the people in Abu Dhabi dooooo.
She said she needs space.
I can't wait to introduce my parents to my bride 2B.
The scout leader says, "No, that snake's not poisonous at all."
So the boy picks up the snake which bites him, and the boy starts to spasm and foam at the mouth as the other kids look on in horror.
The scout leader says, "But that snake is venomous. Poison is ingested or absorbed, while venom is injected. Let's get it right next time, boys."
The librarian checks her computer and says, "I don't know if it's in yet."
The man replies, "Yes, that's the one."
They want to keep alcohol out of the high schools.
They didn't spend all that time in the closet doing nothing.
The computer said it was two week.
They'll kill your dog.
It's a vicious cycle.
I gave her superglue instead.
She's still not talking to me.