Hook Jokes And Puns

You’re sure to get hooked on laughter with these funny hook jokes and puns! Go on – take the bait and enjoy them!

Header image for a page of funny hook jokes and puns.

Funny Hook Jokes

Captain Hook is single-handedly my favorite Disney villain.

Where do pirates get their hooks?

Second hand stores.

A boxer was throwing nothing but right hooks at a punching bag.

His trainer walked up and said, “What gives?”

The boxer said, “I’m exercising my rights.”

I lost a boxing match with a pirate.

He had a vicious right hook.

I was hooked on auctions after only going once…

Going twice…

Why is being a pirate so addictive?

Once you lose the first hand, you’re hooked.

A pirate and a sailor were exchanging stories.

The sailor pointed to the pirate’s peg leg, asking, “How’d you get that?”

“Aye, I wrestled a shark and lost me leg.”

The sailor pointed to the pirate’s hook and asked, “How’d you get that?”

“Aye, I fought Red Beard’s crew and lost me hand.”

The sailor then pointed to the pirate’s eyepatch, again asking, “How’d you get that?”

“Aye, a bird flew by and pooped in me eye.”

The sailor responded with, “That’s not as impressive as the first two.”

“Aye, it was me first day with me hook.”

How did the pirate win the world heavyweight boxing title?

He had a good left hook.

Why can’t Peter Pan defeat Captain Hook?

Because his punches Neverland.

What’s Captain Hook’s least favorite app?

Tik Tok.

I caught a drug addict fish today.

I’m not sure what he was on but he was hooked on something.

I made a joke about Captain Hook finally winning, but it flopped.

Apparently some people don’t like dead Pan humor.

How’s that pirate song coming?

Just working on the hook.

I have faith in the hook I installed.

It’s something I can hang my hat on.

My dream of becoming the first professional boxer/pirate were crushed..

The boxing commission said my right hook was illegal.

What do a boxer, a successful music producer and a good fisherman have in common?

The right hook.

Are any of you guys familiar with fly fishing?

I hear you need a really tiny hook to catch one.

The metal hooks tied to my rope broke.

I’m having a hard time grappling with this.

When fishing, is there ever a good reason to take the worm off the hook?

I guess that’s debaitable.

Why do you never give a pirate drugs?

Because they’re easily hooked.

I can make you speak Irish.

Say “Whale oil beef hooked” quickly.

Why did pirates stop using hooks?

Too many of them died scratching their balls.

What does a librarian take fishing?

A good hook.

How does Captain Hook blow off steam?

Beats Smee.

I went to see Dr. Hook in the 70s.

The worst prostate exam ever.

Which type of shoes does Captain Hook avoid wearing?

Crocs.

I recently saw a catfish at my local river.

I’ve no idea how it baits the hook with those tiny paws.

More Funny Jokes

If you enjoyed our hilarious puns and jokes about hooks, check out the rest of LaffGaff for lots more funny jokes, such as these: