We thought we’d better buck up our ideas and find the funniest hunting jokes for you. So don’t worry – these aren’t just any old boaring hunting jokes. No, here you’ll find only the most a-moosing jokes around.
Best Hunting Jokes
A group of friends went deer hunting and paired off in twos for the day.
That night, one of the hunters returned alone, staggering under the weight of an eight-point buck.
The others were surprised and asked him, “Where’s Joe?”
“Joe fell and broke his leg. He’s a couple of miles back up the trail,” the successful hunter replied.
The other hunters were even more surprised at this and asked him, “‘You left Joe laying out there and carried the deer back?”
The hunter nodded and said, “It was a tough call, but I figured no one is going to steal Joe!”
Two Canadian hunters were driving through the country to go bear hunting when they came upon a fork in the road.
There was a sign which read, “BEAR LEFT”.
So they turned round and went home.
A father came home from a ten day deer hunting trip to find his son riding a very expensive new mountain bike.
He asked his son, “Where did you get the money for that new bike? It must have cost a fortune.”
His son answered, “I earned it by hiking.”
The father said, “Come on now son, tell me the truth.”
His son said, “That is the truth! Every night that you were gone, Mr. Jones from the grocery store would come over to see mom and each time he’d give me a $20 bill and tell me to go take a hike!”
A tourist was sports fishing off the Florida coast one day when is boat capsized.
He was a good swimmer, but his fear of alligators kept him clinging to the overturned boat.
After a while he saw an old beachcomber walking along the shore, so he shouted over to him,”Are there any gators around here?”
The old man shouted back, “Naw,they ain’t been around for years.”
This reassured the tourist and, feeling safe, he started to swim calmly and leisurely toward the shore.
He’d got about halfway when he shouted out and asked the old guy,”So, how’d you get rid of the gators?”
The old beachcomber replied, “We didn’t do nothin;.”
“All the sharks got ’em.”
Jerry and Joe were on a hunting trip. As night began to fall, Jerry moaned, “We’ve been hunting all day. We’ve shot at five deer, and we’ve not hit a single one!”
Joe replied, “OK. Let’s miss two more and then head back to camp.”
Two deer hunters meet in the woods one day.
The first one says to the other, “Thank God I’ve met you, I’ve been lost for hours!”
The second hunter replies, “That’s nothing – I’ve been lost for days!”
What’s the difference between a hunter and a fisherman?
A hunter lies in wait while a fisherman waits and lies.
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Two guys go hunting one fine day.
Bill has never been hunting before while Jim has hunted all his life.
When they get to the woods, Jim tells Bill to sit by a tree and not make a sound while he checks out a deer stand.
After he gets about a quarter of a mile away, Jim hears a blood-curdling scream. He rushes back to Bill and yells, “I thought I told you to be quiet!”
Bill says, “I tried. I really did! When those snakes crawled over me, I didn’t make a sound. When that bear was breathing down my neck, I didn’t make a peep. But when those two chipmunks crawled up my pants leg and said, ‘Should we take them with us or eat them here?’ I couldn’t keep quiet anymore!”
Two skunks are in the woods one day when then they spot a hunter sneaking around with a rifle.
The first skunk says, “I hope he doesn’t shoot us.”
The second skunk bows his head as he replies, “Yes, let us spray.”
What do you get if you cross a hunting dog with a telephone?
A golden receiver.
A big-game hunter went on safari with his wife and mother-in-law.
One evening, while still deep in the jungle, the wife awoke to find her mother had disappeared.
She woke her husband and insisted on them both trying to find her mother.
So the hunter picked up his rifle and started to look for his mother-in-law along with his wife.
After a short time they came across a clearing not far from the camp, where they saw a chilling sight.
The mother-in-law was backed up against a giant rock with a large male lion facing her.
The wife cried to her husband, “Aren’t you going to help?”
Her husband replied, “No, the lion got himself into this mess so let him get himself out of it.”
How do you save a deer during hunting season?
You hang on for deer life.
On the way home from a hunt one day, a hunter stops by the grocery store and says, “Give me a couple of steaks.”
“We’re out of steaks but we have hotdogs and chicken,” replies the butcher.
“Hotdogs and chicken?” says the hunter. “How can I tell my wife I bagged a couple of hotdogs and chickens?”
Two redneck hunters were dragging their dead deer back to their car one day when another hunter approached pulling his deer along too.
He watched them and said, “Hey, I don’t want to tell you how to do something but I can tell you it’s much easier if you drag the deer in the other direction. Then the antlers won’t dig into the ground.”
With that he left them, still dragging his deer behind him.
After a quck discussion the two rednecks decided to follow his advice.
A short time later one of them said to the other, “You know, that guy was right. This is a lot easier!”
The second redneck replied, “Yeah, but we’re getting farther and farther from the truck.”
A hunter visited another hunter one day and was given a tour of his home.
In the study was a stuffed lion.
The visiting hunter said, “Nice! When did you bag him?”
The host hunter replied, “That was three years ago, when I went hunting with my wife.”
“Oh, what’s he stuffed with?” asked the visiting hunter.
Two rednecks were out hunting one day when they came across a beautiful blonde sunbathing naked on a rock.
The first redneck winked at her and said, “Are you game?”
She winked back and said, “I sure am!”
So the second redneck shot her.