Gas Price Jokes And One Liners

These funny gas price jokes that we’ve pumped out just for you won’t cost you anything, so fill up on laughter now!

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Funny Gas Price Jokes

Gas prices are getting ridiculous.

I went online to check the value of my car and it asked if the tank was empty or full.

You think gas prices are expensive, have you seen chimneys?

They’re through the roof.

Gas prices are so high…

That even the Coronavirus stopped traveling.

Taco Bell is the only place where you can still get gas for under two dollars.

I used to only be able to fit $150 of fuel in my car.

Now I can fit $200 worth!

I have no idea why everyone is complaining.

My wife complained that I never take her to expensive places anymore so I took her to the gas station.

Gas prices are so high…

That even Priuses are looking attractive.

Gas prices are so high…

That people are cutting the floors out of their cars and channeling their inner Flintstones.

Feeling sick over increasing gas prices at the pump.

You could call it the car owner virus.

I was robbed at the gas station today.

I called the police and they asked me if I knew who did it?

I told them, “Yes, it was pump number 5.”

Good news! The bank finally approved our loan and soon we plan to close on a tankful of fuel.

Because gas prices are so high I invented a car powered by talking.

However, being a man of few words, I quickly got tired of talking in order to get anywhere so I modified the car to run on thoughts alone.

I’m very happy with the results because, well, it goes without saying.

Gas prices are so high…

That I can’t even afford to fart.

Petrol prices are now so high that one company is selling a fuel that is derived from insect urine.

I believe it’s called BP.

Gas prices are so high…

That even Snoop Dogg said, “Woah!”

Gas prices are so high…

That Tiffany’s now has a pump section.

The guy next to me on pump 2 just put $10 worth of gas into his car.

Where does he think he is going? Pump 3?

Why did Madagascar decide to go fully electric with their vehicles?

Because with these gas prices, they’re mad at gas cars.

Gas prices got so expensive that…

Tom Brady had to come out of retirement.

Gas prices are so high…

That Jeff Bezos is considering the carpool lane.

I called the tow truck company.

When the driver arrived, he asked what was wrong with my car.

I said, “No, the car’s not broken down. I just figured you’d be cheaper than buying gas.”

Did you hear about the new federal government fitness program to get people walking more?

It’s called “Gasoline at $6 per gallon.”

With gas prices on the rise, I went to the gas station and asked for $5 worth of gas…

The attendant farted and gave me a receipt.

Gas prices are so high that car dealerships are offering a second auto loan just to cover the getting the car out the lot.

Gas prices are so high these days I used vodka in my lawnmower.

Now my grass is half cut.

Things are pretty bad right now.

Vin Diesel was forced to change his name to Vin Electric due to increasing gas prices.

With gas prices being so high, and inflation rising at such an alarming rate, I have no choice but to shamefully sell my nudes.

$1 to receive one.

$50 to NOT receive one.

As a result of rising gas prices…

Kidnap victims will no longer be taken to a second location.

Gas prices are so high…

That it puts stoners to shame.

Why are gas prices getting higher?

It still tastes the same to me.

Why do gas prices end with 9/10 of a penny?

It just makes cents.

With all these high gas prices I managed to get it for $2.99.

Unfortunately it was at Taco Bell.

Gas prices are so high…

Dolly Parton and Jolene are carpooling together.

Fuel prices have become out of control!

I went to pay at the pump today and my options were, cash, credit card, kidney or soul.

They have electric cars and now they are inventing a car the runs on snails to help battle high gas prices.

It’s named the “S Car.”

It may sound weird but apparently that’s what makes the S Car go.

The average cost of a gallon of gas hit an all-time high again this week.

If you plan to travel this summer, it might be cheaper to mail your car.

At the gas station I squeezed the trigger a little to add 3 cents and round up to the nearest dollar.

I accidentally put in another 10 bucks.

Jokes About Gas Prices

If you enjoyed these hilarious jokes about high gas prices, be sure to check out the rest of LaffGaff for lots more funny jokes, such as these:

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