Guitar Jokes

We finally plucked up the courage to bring you these funny guitar jokes and puns! We thought we’d air them for free – no strings attached!

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Funny Guitar Jokes And Puns

Why can’t Woody play his guitar?

He doesn’t know where his Pixar.

My wife asked me to quit playing Wonderwall on guitar.

I said maybe…

I bought a guitar made out of diamond.

Now I can play some hard rock.

My wife rotates playing her guitar, drum, or flute once a month.

It’s part of her minstrel cycle.

Some guy just said he was going to attack me with the neck of a guitar.

I said, “Is that a fret?”

I bought a guitar the other day but it doesnt work.

Guess I should’ve known when the seller said no strings attached.

Do you know how to tell if music counts as heavy metal?

Look and see if they have a lead guitar.

A woman is on trial for beating her husband to death with his guitar collection.

The judge asks her, “First offender?”

She says, “No, first a Gibson then a Fender!”

I was carrying my ukulele in its case at school and my friend asked, “You play an instrument?”

I replied, “Yeah, I play a little guitar.”

How do you get a guitar player to stop playing?

Put a piece of sheet music in front of him.

The only time anyone should fret over nothing…

Is playing air guitar.

What do you call a guitar used to play pool?

A cue stick.

Give a man a guitar and he’ll play for a day.

Teach a man guitar and today is gonna be the day that they’re gonna throw it back to you.

I will repair your broken air guitars for free.

No strings attached.

My guitar neck got nervous.

I said, “Don’t fret.”

The airline damaged my guitar because I bought a cheap gig bag.

It was a worst case scenario.

People who play guitar are a nervous bunch.

They are fretting all the time.

I asked my father if he could leave his guitar collection to my children when he passes.

He said that’s music to his heirs.

What a strange morning.

First I find a hat full of money in the street.

And then I get chased by an angry guy with a guitar!

From a young age I wanted to play guitar very badly.

Now after decades of dedicated and concentrated practice, I finally achieved my goal.

I can play guitar very badly.

What is God’s favorite guitar chord?


I accidentally dropped my buddy’s guitar yesterday and it put a hole in my floor.

Had no idea it was a heavy metal guitar.

“Why are you using our daughter as a guitar?” my wife asked.

“You told me to rock her to sleep,” I replied.

There’s a magician who can fold even the highest-quality guitars in half.

He’s known as “the Fender bender”.

I found a pebble that looked like a guitar pick.

Must be for rock music.

My grandpa recently died and passed down his Fender Stratocaster to my son.

He now plays heir guitar.

What is the difference between a guitar player and a savings bond?

The savings bond will eventually mature and earn money.

My friends are like my guitar.

I don’t have a guitar.

What did the guitar and banjo name their daughter?

Amanda Lynn.

How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Ten: one to screw it in and nine to say, “Pssh, I can do that.”

What a the difference between a sofa and a guitar player?

The sofa can support a family.

My son recently started bass guitar lessons.

“How was your first bass lesson, son?” I asked.

“Great,” he said. “I learned The E note!”

After the next lesson I asked, “How was your second bass lesson, son?”

“Great! I learned the A note,” he replied.

After the next lesson I asked, “How was your third bass lesson, son?”

“Couldn’t make it,” he said. “Had a gig.”

I got in a car accident today and my guitar was destroyed.

It was a real Fender bender.

I was at a concert last night and the guitarist passed out on the stage.

He must have rocked himself to sleep.

I plug my guitar into all kinds of amplifiers.

It’s an eclectic guitar.

If you don’t know how to choose music ask a guitarist.

They know how to pick.

More Funny Jokes

If these funny guitar jokes and puns were music to your ears, check out the rest of LaffGaff for lots more funny jokes such as these:

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