We finally plucked up the courage to bring you these funny guitar jokes and puns! We thought we’d air them for free – no strings attached!
Funny Guitar Jokes And Puns
Why can’t Woody play his guitar?
He doesn’t know where his Pixar.
My wife asked me to quit playing Wonderwall on guitar.
I said maybe…
I bought a guitar made out of diamond.
Now I can play some hard rock.
My wife rotates playing her guitar, drum, or flute once a month.
It’s part of her minstrel cycle.
Some guy just said he was going to attack me with the neck of a guitar.
I said, “Is that a fret?”
I bought a guitar the other day but it doesnt work.
Guess I should’ve known when the seller said no strings attached.
Do you know how to tell if music counts as heavy metal?
Look and see if they have a lead guitar.
A woman is on trial for beating her husband to death with his guitar collection.
The judge asks her, “First offender?”
She says, “No, first a Gibson then a Fender!”
I was carrying my ukulele in its case at school and my friend asked, “You play an instrument?”
I replied, “Yeah, I play a little guitar.”
How do you get a guitar player to stop playing?
Put a piece of sheet music in front of him.
The only time anyone should fret over nothing…
Is playing air guitar.
What do you call a guitar used to play pool?
A cue stick.
Give a man a guitar and he’ll play for a day.
Teach a man guitar and today is gonna be the day that they’re gonna throw it back to you.
I will repair your broken air guitars for free.
No strings attached.
My guitar neck got nervous.
I said, “Don’t fret.”
The airline damaged my guitar because I bought a cheap gig bag.
It was a worst case scenario.
People who play guitar are a nervous bunch.
They are fretting all the time.
I asked my father if he could leave his guitar collection to my children when he passes.
He said that’s music to his heirs.
What a strange morning.
First I find a hat full of money in the street.
And then I get chased by an angry guy with a guitar!
From a young age I wanted to play guitar very badly.
Now after decades of dedicated and concentrated practice, I finally achieved my goal.
I can play guitar very badly.
What is God’s favorite guitar chord?
I accidentally dropped my buddy’s guitar yesterday and it put a hole in my floor.
Had no idea it was a heavy metal guitar.
“Why are you using our daughter as a guitar?” my wife asked.
“You told me to rock her to sleep,” I replied.
There’s a magician who can fold even the highest-quality guitars in half.
He’s known as “the Fender bender”.
I found a pebble that looked like a guitar pick.
Must be for rock music.
My grandpa recently died and passed down his Fender Stratocaster to my son.
He now plays heir guitar.
What is the difference between a guitar player and a savings bond?
The savings bond will eventually mature and earn money.
My friends are like my guitar.
I don’t have a guitar.
What did the guitar and banjo name their daughter?
How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?
Ten: one to screw it in and nine to say, “Pssh, I can do that.”
What a the difference between a sofa and a guitar player?
The sofa can support a family.
My son recently started bass guitar lessons.
“How was your first bass lesson, son?” I asked.
“Great,” he said. “I learned The E note!”
After the next lesson I asked, “How was your second bass lesson, son?”
“Great! I learned the A note,” he replied.
After the next lesson I asked, “How was your third bass lesson, son?”
“Couldn’t make it,” he said. “Had a gig.”
I got in a car accident today and my guitar was destroyed.
It was a real Fender bender.
I was at a concert last night and the guitarist passed out on the stage.
He must have rocked himself to sleep.
I plug my guitar into all kinds of amplifiers.
It’s an eclectic guitar.
If you don’t know how to choose music ask a guitarist.
They know how to pick.