We rose to the occasion and picked a bunch of the best flower jokes and puns and arranged them neatly, just for you!
Funny Flower Jokes
Why is the letter A like a flower?
Because a “B” comes after it!
You can’t plant flowers if you haven’t botany.
My wife complained that I never buy her flowers.
I didn’t even know she sold flowers.
If I send a clown to deliver flowers to my wife…
Is that a romantic jester?
My wife just called me and said, “Three of the girls in the office have just received some flowers for Valentines Day. They are absolutely gorgeous!”
I repied, “That’s probably why they’ve received flowers then.”
“Never buy flowers from a monk”, Smokey the Bear said.
Only you can prevent florist friars.
I accidentally sent my friend flowers over the internet.
Asking out the cute girl at the flower store:
“Got any plants this weekend?”
How many lips does a flower have?
Why didn’t the passengers receive flowers when their plane landed in Hawaii?
Their flight was deleied.
Someone keeps sending me flowers with all the heads cut off.
I think I’m being stalked.
An elderly couple had dinner at another couple’s house, and after eating, the wives left the table and went into the kitchen.
The two gentlemen were talking, and one said, “Last night we went out to a new restaurant and it was really great… I would recommend it very highly.”
The other man said, “What is the name of the restaurant?”
The first man thought and thought and finally said, !What is the name of that flower you give to someone you love? You know… The one that’s red and has thorns.”
“Do you mean a rose?”
“Yes, that’s the one,” replied the man. He then turned towards the kitchen and yelled, “Rose, what’s the name of that restaurant we went to last night?”
What do you call a flower that is full of electricity?
A power plant.
Next time I go on a date, I’m gonna bring moss instead of flowers…
So she knows I’ve taken a lichen to her.
What flower is the biggest klutz?
How do flowers whistle?
With their tulips.
What kind of flower do you have if everyone in the country drove a pink car?
A pink carnation.
What is it called when two flowers have an unplanned pregnancy?
A new business is opening and one of the owner’s friends wants to send him flowers for the occasion.
They arrive at the new business site and the owner reads the card: “Rest in Peace.”
Understandably the owner is angry and calls the florist to complain.
After he tells the florist of the obvious mistake and how angry he is, the florist replies, “Sir, I’m really sorry for the mistake, but rather than getting angry, you should imagine this. Somewhere there is a funeral taking place today, and they have flowers with a note saying, ‘Congratulations on your new location.'”
I can’t think of a good flower pun right now…
Thistle have to do.
Where do drunk sea flowers go?
What do you call it when two flowers have a child?
So, a florist gave me the wrong flowers.
I think they’re called oopsie daisies.
What type of flower grows in the surface of the sun?
What did the bee say to the flower?