We’ve laid down these funny brick jokes and puns just for you! We’d be mortar’fied if you didn’t enjoy them after all our hard work building this page!
Funny Brick Jokes
A man’s three daughters are wondering how they got their names.
“Daddy, why is my name Violet?” the first girl asks.
“Because a violet fell on your head when you were born, dear,” her father answers.
“Daddy, why is my name Rose?” the second girl asks.
“Because a rose fell on your head when you were born, dear,” her father answers.
“My favorite color is potato,” the third girl says.
“Shut up, Brick!”
What is red and bad for your teeth?
A brick.
What’s blue and bad for your teeth?
The same brick moving really really fast.
If a red house has red bricks, a yellow house has yellow bricks, what color bricks does a green house have?
None, a green house is made out of glass.
My local store sells clothes made of bricks.
It’s a hardware store.
Bricks are the happiest construction materials.
They’re always getting laid.
I had some ice cream recently that tasted of brick.
Turned out it was Walls.
What weighs more 10 pounds of bricks or 10 pounds of feathers?
Feathers because you have to carry the weight of what you did to those poor birds.
What does a fish say when it hits a brick wall?
Dam.
I was wondering why people keep telling me that juggling bricks is a bad idea.
Then it hit me.
I went to the DIY store the other week and asked in which section I could find tools, bricks and tiles.
The guy said they were under Construction.
I asked when they would be finished.
What did the brick road say on Thanksgiving?
Cobble cobble cobble!
A lorry carrying LEGO bricks overturned on the motorway.
The police say they don’t know what to make of it.
I went on holiday to Oz recently, and got a hire car with a sat nav.
I didn’t think much of it, though.
It just kept telling me to follow the yellow brick road.
A man tried to pass through a brick wall…
But one does not simply walk into mortar.
Someone threw a piece of a brick through my window last night
The police aren’t helping because there isn’t enough concrete evidence.
Why did the second-rate toy plastic brick maker become obsessed?
Because he just couldn’t LEGO.
My history textbook says that the Pharaoh of Egypt used slaves to build the pyramids.
Which is kind of weird considering he could’ve just used bricks or something.
A brick wall fell on a man.
He was in mortar danger.
How do you hire a horse?
Put a brick under each foot.
What’s red and kills people?
A brick, I don’t know why everyone answers communism.
A gold brick walks into a bar.
The bartender says “Au! Get outta here!”
I’ve always wondered what a ton of bricks would feel like…
And then it hit me.
Q. 500 bricks are on a plane. One falls off. How many are left?
A. 499.
Q. What are three steps to putting an elephant in a refrigerator?
A. Open Door, put elephant in refrigerator, close door.
Q. What are four steps to putting a giraffe in a refrigerator?
A. Open door, take elephant out of refrigerator, put giraffe in refrigerator, close door.
Q. The lion throws a huge birthday party. All the animals but one go. Which is it and why?
A. The giraffe: he’s still in the refrigerator.
Q. Sally swims across an alligator infested river and doesn’t get eaten. How?
A. The alligators are at the lion’s birthday party.
Q. Sally is found dead within the next 5 minutes: why?
A. She was hit by a brick falling from the sky.
So an ex-con is walking around the mall with his girlfriend after dinner, when they happen across a jewelry store.
The girlfriend eyes one of the necklaces on display in the window and says, “Wow, I’d sure love to have a necklace like that around my neck!”
Nonchalantly, the ex-con smashes the window with a brick and hands his girlfriend the necklace, saying, “Anything for my baby.”
They continue walking along and soon enough happen across a high-end clothing store.
The girlfriend eyes one of the dresses on display in the window and says, “Wow, I’d sure love to have a dress like that to wear to parties!”
Nonchalantly, the ex-con smashes the window with another brick and hands his girlfriend the dress, saying, “Anything for my baby.”
They continue walking along and soon enough happen across a car dealership.
The girlfriend eyes one of the Mercedes on display in the window and says, “Wow, I’d sure love to have that Mercedes to drive around town in!”
The ex-con pauses and replies: “What? You think I’m made out of bricks?”
A baker, a brickmaker, and a bombmaker are on a plane when one of the engines fail
The pilot asks them to throw anything they brought out the door to lighten the plane.
The baker throws out a loaf of bread, the brickmaker throws out a brick, and the bombmaker throws out a bomb.
The plane crashes anyway and the pilot dies.
Miraculously the 3 men survive.
They start walking through the jungle hoping to find civilization when they come across a little boy crying.
They ask him, “Why are you crying little boy?”
He responds with, “A loaf of bread fell out of the sky and hit me in the head.”
The baker, knowing that he did that, stayed behind to comfort him.
As the brickmaker and bombmaker continue, they come across another little boy crying.
They ask him, “Why are you crying?”
The boy responds, “A brick fell out of the sky and landed on my foot.”
The brickmaker, knowing that this was his doing, stayed behind to comfort him.
The bombmaker continues on his walk to find civilization when he comes across another little boy laughing hysterically.
He asks him, “Why are you laughing?”
The little boy responds, “My daddy farted and the house blew up!”
Well, I know it’s childish, but me and my girlfriend have just had a great time having a pillow fight and I won!
The secret is to stuff a few bricks in there.
There’s been a local guy called Carl going around breaking into people’s houses for months.
The police couldn’t catch him.
The weird thing is he was breaking into people’s houses just to ruin their washing machines by putting bricks in them and turning them on!
Anyway, I just heard that he was found dead in an alleyway because of a drug overdose.
Now it’s never nice hearing of a death but on the bright side, washing machines live longer with Carl gone.
My comrades were destroying the brick factory.
I said, “Stop, we need the bricks!”
They replied, “That’s why we’re demolishing it.”
A truck has spilled its load of bricks over the road.
Police say queues are building.
More Funny Jokes
If you enjoyed these funny jokes and puns about bricks, be sure to check out the rest of LaffGaff for lots more hilarious jokes, such as these:
