Animal Jokes And Puns

There’s a huge variety of animals in the world, which is great news for laughter lovers because it means there’s also a huge number of funny animal jokes and puns too!

And we consider it our duty here at LaffGaff to devote ourselves to gathering them all together for you. So we hope you enjoy this menagerie of funny animal jokes. From pet jokes, cow jokes and horse jokes to funny kangaroo jokes, this is truly the best collection of funny animal jokes for kids and adults that you’ll find online! A veritable zootopia of animal jokes, if you will!

Featured image for a page of hilarious animal jokes and puns.

Animal Jokes Collections

Below are links to all our pages of hilarious animal jokes and puns. Have fun exploring them!

Alligator & Crocodile Jokes

Here’s a fantastic selection of snappy crocodile and alligator jokes and puns for you to enjoy. There’s definitely no crocks here!

Ant Jokes & Puns

The ant-icipation is finally over – here is our collection of the most hilarious ant jokes and puns! You’re sure to enjoy them – they’re excell-ant!

Bat Jokes And Puns

A collection of hilariously funny bat jokes and vampire jokes to get your teeth into – perfect for Halloween!

Bear Jokes & Puns

There’s nothing unbearable about this hilarious collection of funny bear jokes & puns! They’re worthy of a round of app-paws!

Bee Jokes & Puns

We’ve been a hive of activity gathering them together, so make a beeline for these funny bee jokes and puns!

Bird Jokes And Puns

We definitely didn’t wing it as far as these funny bird jokes and puns are concerned! We spent a lot of time making sure they were eggs-actly what you’re looking for.

Black Cat Jokes

Halloween is the purr-fect time to tell these funny black cat jokes and puns! There are a fur few jokes here but we’ll sure you’ll agree they’re all paw-some!

Butterfly Jokes

We were a little nervous about bringing you these funny butterfly jokes and puns. Then we realized they’re so funny there’s nothing to worry about, and the butterflies in our stomach disappeared!

Cat Puns And Jokes

Out of all the various animal jokes, we think cat puns and jokes are just purr-fect! Seriously, we’re not kitten you.

Cheetah Jokes And Puns

We think you’d be lion if you told us you didn’t find these funny cheetah jokes and puns hilarious! So read them fast, before anyone else spots them!

Chicken Jokes & Puns

We’ve hen-thusiastically laid out all our favorite funny chicken jokes and puns in this eggs-cellent collection!

Cow Puns And Jokes

Holy cow! Run these udderly hilarious cow puns pasteurise and milk them for all they’re worth! Make no mi-steak, you’ll have no beef with them.

Crab Jokes

It would be shellfish of us not to share these funny crab jokes and puns with you! After all, they’re crab-tivating so you’re sure to like them!

Deer Jokes And Puns

We thought we’d better buck up our ideas and bring you these funny deer jokes and puns! You’re sure to be fawning over them!

Dinosaur Knock Knock Jokes

If there are two things kids love it’s dinosaurs and knock knock jokes! With that in mind, here’s a great collection of funny dinosaur knock knock jokes for kids that will keep your little ones entertained!

Dinosaur Puns & Jokes

Funny dinosaur puns will never be extinct. And they’re certainly not dino-boring! So here’s a collection of all our favorites.

Dog Jokes And Puns

Dogs are incredibly cute and funny. And while this collection of dog jokes and puns might not be cute they’re definitely funny too. You’d have to be barking mad not to find them hilarious.

Dolphin Jokes

To all intents and porpoises these are the funniest dolphin jokes and puns you’ll find. We’re sure they’re bound to click with you!

Donkey Jokes

There’s no half-assed attempts at funny donkey jokes and puns here! In fact, we’re sure you’ll find them all highly a-mule-sing and will bray with laughter!

Dragon Jokes And Puns

Fire up these funny dragon jokes and puns if you want to breathe a bit of laughter into your life! The noise of your chuckling will be off the scale!

Elephant Puns And Elephant Jokes

These hilariously funny elephant puns are truly unforgettable so don’t be a Dumbo – check them out right now. Ivory much doubt you’ll be disappointed!

Farmer And Farm Jokes

Hay, we’re not counting our chickens, but we hope you enjoy this bumper crop of funny farmer jokes and farm jokes.

Fishing And Fish Jokes

We don’t know about you, but we’re hooked on funny fishing jokes. Even if you’re not, we think you’ll fall for these particular funny fishing jokes hook, line and sinker.

Fly Jokes

They say time flies when you’re having fun. Well, you’re sure to have fun with these hilarious fly jokes and puns! They’re bound to give you a buzz!

Frog Jokes & Puns

These funny frog jokes and puns are toad-ally awesome! So what are you waiting for – hop to it and check them out!

Giraffe Jokes & Puns

We’re going to stick our neck out and say these are the funniest giraffe puns and jokes you’ll find! They’re head and shoulders above the rest!

Goat Puns & Jokes

Excuse us for butting in but we’re not kidding, these goat puns are definitely the Greatest Of All Time.

Goose Jokes And Puns

This great collection of funny goose jokes and puns won’t leave you feeling down or give you the bird! Don’t worry – none of them are fowl!

Horse Jokes And Puns

We’re not trying to stirrup trouble, but we reckon these are the best horse jokes and puns you’ll find.

Kangaroo Jokes

If you wallaby a comedian, then you’d better hop to it and study these funny kangaroo jokes!

Labrador Jokes And Puns

We’d have been barking mad not to retrieve these funny Labrador jokes and puns for you, so paws for a moment to enjoy them!

Lion Jokes & Puns

We take great pride in bringing you our favorite funny lion jokes and puns that are sure to have you roaring with laughter!

Llama Puns & Jokes

I’m so sure you’ll love these hilarious llama puns and jokes that if you don’t, alpaca my bags and leave, no probllama!

Lobster Jokes

We wouldn’t be shellfish enough to keep these funny lobster jokes and puns to ourselves. Which is lucky for you because they’re sure to claws lots of laughter!

Mole Jokes

We’ve dug up this collection of mole-nly the best funny mole jokes and puns just for you! There’s lots of them – after all, the mole the merrier!

Monkey Jokes & Puns

There’s no monkey business going on here, only the funniest monkey puns and jokes! You’d have to be bananas to give them a miss!

Octopus Jokes And Puns

We’ve come well armed with this collection of funny octopus jokes and puns to keep you octopi’d! We’re sure they’ll ten-tickle your fancy!

Owl Jokes And Puns

Owls are known for their wisdom. LaffGaff are known for their jokes. Put them together and you get this collection of wise-cracking owl jokes!

Panda Puns & Jokes

There’d be pandamonium if we didn’t bring you this collection of our favorite funny panda puns and jokes! And we couldn’t bear that!

Parrot Jokes

We’ve said it before and we’ll say it again because it bears repeating: we love funny parrot jokes and puns! And these ones fit the bill perfectly!

Penguin Jokes

Luckily for you we didn’t get cold feet about bringing you these funny penguin jokes and puns! They’re great for breaking the ice! Enjoy them!

Pet Jokes And Puns

Animal jokes are some of our pet jokes and they don’t come any funnier than these hilarious pet jokes and puns!

Pig Jokes And Puns

There’s no ham-fisted attempts at funny pig jokes here. We are hogging all the best ones though, so we’re sure you won’t be boar-ed!

Poodle Jokes And Puns

Here’s a fun collection of hilarious Poodle jokes and puns! Be careful though – you’ll be crying so much with laughter there will be Poodles of tears on the floor!

Rabbit Jokes And Puns

You’d better hop to it and check out these hilarious rabbit jokes and puns because they’ve very bunny indeed!

Rat Jokes And Puns

Escape the rat race and relax with these funny rat jokes and puns. Don’t worry, it’s not a (rat) trap – these jokes are hilarious!

Reindeer Jokes

It’d be Rude-olph of us not to share these funny reindeer jokes and puns with you. So here they are – enjoy, and Season’s Greetings!

Sheep Jokes And Puns

We bet ewe haven’t herd these hilarious sheep jokes and puns before! Check them out – none of them are really baa-d!

Shih Tzu Jokes And Puns

We Shih Tzu not – these are the best Shih Tzu jokes and puns you’ll find! Paws for a moment to enjoy them!

Shrimp Jokes

We’re not shellfish enough to not bring you these funny shrimp jokes and puns! We had to share them with you because they’re shrimp-ly the best!

Snail Jokes And Puns

We may have been slow to bring you these hilarious snail jokes and puns, but we came out of our shells eventually!

Snake Jokes & Puns

You’re sure to fang us for bringing you these funny snake puns and jokes because they’re asp-solutely hissterical!

Spider Puns & Jokes

There’s no flies on us – we’ve scoured the web looking for the funniest spider puns and jokes, and here they are!

Squirrel Jokes And Puns

You’d have to be nuts not to laugh at these funny squirrel jokes! They can be a bit of a “gray” area, but once you’ve “red” these ones, you’ll know what we mean!

Tiger Jokes And Puns

These funny tiger jokes and puns have certainly earned their stripes! So paws for a moment to enjoy them!

Turkey Jokes & Puns

There’s nothing fowl about these funny turkey jokes and puns, they’re hilarious! And the good news is that we’ve stuffed as many of them in as we can fit!

Turtle Puns And Jokes

Shell-ebrate humor with these turtley awesome turtle puns! They’re sure to bring you out of your shell, so don’t be slow – read them now!

Whale Puns & Jokes

Whale, whale, whale, what do we have here? Only a collection of the funniest whale puns and jokes. You’re sure to have a whale of a time reading them!

Zebra Jokes

We thought we’d earn our stripes by bringing you these funny zebra jokes and puns. No horsing around here – these are truly funny jokes!

Zoo Jokes And Puns

We couldn’t keep these funny zoo jokes and puns captive any longer! They’re too good not to release into the wild!

Best Animal Jokes

Below is a selection of all our favorite funny animal jokes. Enjoy them!

A platypus walks into a bar owned by a duck.

He finishes his drink and asks for his check.

Duck billed platypus.

What do priests say to get rid of insects in the church?

Let us spray.

A weasel walks into a bar.

The bartender says, “Wow, I’ve never served a weasel before. What can I get you?”

“Pop,” goes the weasel.

A fly feels a bug on its back and asks, “Hey, bug on my back, are you a mite?”

“I mite be,” giggles the mite.

“That’s the worst pun I’ve ever heard,” the fly groans.

“What do you expect?” asks the mite. “I came up with it on the fly.”

What’s the fastest way to massacre snails?

A salt rifle.

A man walks into a shop and sees a cute little dog.

He asks the shopkeeper, “Does your dog bite?”

The shopkeeper says, “No, my dog doesn’t bite.”

The man then tries to pet the dog and the dog bites him.

“Ouch,” says the man, “I thought you said your dog doesn’t bite!”

The shopkeeper replies, “That’s not my dog!”

Two mice are chewing on a film roll.

The first one says, “I liked the book better.”

Why do gorillas have big nostrils?

Because they have big fingers.

What lies on its back, 100 feet in the air?

A dead centipede.

A lost dog strays into the jungle one day.

From a distance, a lion sees this and thinks to himself, “Hmmm, this guy looks edible, I’ve never seen his kind before”.

So the lion starts running towards the dog with menace but the dog notices this and starts to panic.

As he’s about to run he sees some bones on the ground next to him, gets an idea and says loudly, “Mmm… That was some good lion meat!”

The lion screeches to a halt and says, “Woah! This guy seems tougher then he looks, I better leave while I can” and then runs away.

Over in a tree, is a monkey who sees everything and realizes that he can benefit from this situation by telling the lion what happened and getting something in return.

So the monkey finds the lion and tells him what really happened. The lion says to the monkey angrily, “Get on my back, we’ll get him together”.

So the monkey climbs on the lion’s back and they start rushing back to the dog.

The dog sees them, realizes what has happened and starts to panic even more.

But then he gets another idea and shouts, “Where is that monkey!?! I told him to bring me another lion an hour ago…”

A grasshopper walks into a bar.

The bartender says, “Hey, we have a drink named after you!”

The grasshopper looks surprised and asks, “You have a drink named Steve?”

How do electric eels taste?


Why are leopards no good at playing hide and seek?

Because they’re always spotted.

Why do crabs never share?

Because they’re shellfish.

A guy is walking through the woods one day when he comes across a suitcase. He takes a look inside, only to find a fox and her cubs.

So he rings the ASPCA and tells the woman who answers what he’s found.

She says, “Oh, that’s horrible. Are they moving?”

The guy replies, “I don’t know, but that would explain the suitcase.”

A fly feels a bug on its back and asks, “Hey, bug on my back, are you a mite?”

“I mite be,” giggles the mite.

“That’s the worst pun I’ve ever heard,” the fly groans.

“What do you expect?” asks the mite. “I came up with it on the fly.”

My wife and I were talking about people owning strange animals and she said, “I’ve always wanted to get a manatee.”

I said, “Thank you very much, I’ll have it with milk and two sugars please.”

What do priests say to get rid of insects in the church?

Let us spray.

Cockroaches can survive a nuclear holocaust but can’t survive a slap from a newspaper.

That shows how toxic the media is.

How much does a dragon weigh?

Depends on the scales.

A penguin walks into a bar, goes to the counter and says to the barman, “Have you seen my brother?”

The barman says, “I don’t know. What does he look like?”

What do you call a hippo without a butt?

A hippo-bottomless.

My wife said, “Did you know butterflies only live for one day?”

I said, “That’s a myth.”

She said, “No, it’s definitely a butterfly.”

It only costs 1c to get into our local aquarium, so long as you’re camping or dressed as a dolphin.

To all in tents and porpoises, it’s free.

What lies on its back, 100 feet in the air?

A dead centipede.

Two rabbits were being chased by a pack of wolves one day and the wolves chased them into a thicket where they hid.

After a few minutes, one rabbit turned to the other and said, “Well, do you want to make a run for it or stay here a few days and outnumber them?”

A man walks into a bar with a newt on his shoulder.

The bartender says, “What an interesting pet. What’s his name?”

“Tiny” the man replies.

The bartender says, “What an odd name. Why do you call him Tiny?”

“Because he’s my newt.”

More Fun And Laughter

If you enjoyed these animal jokes, be sure to check out the rest of LaffGaff for lots more fun and laughter. We have a huge selection of funny jokes, trivia questions and answers, funny quotes, quizzes, riddles and pick up lines, so there’s something for everyone!