Trot Dash
What goes trot trot dash dash trot?
Horse code.
Horse Jokes
We’re not trying to stirrup trouble but we think it’ll be impossible to rein in your laughter when you hear these hilarious horse jokes and puns!
Poor Quality Oats
I bought some oats for my horse but returned them because they were poor quality.
The manager took my feedback.
Guy With Pram
I saw a guy with a horseshoe, a four leaf clover and a rabbit’s foot in a pram.
I thought, “He’s pushing his luck!”
Horse Ranch
It’s so depressing working on a horse ranch.
I’m surrounded by neigh-sayers.
Military Horses
What branch of the military do horses join?
The neigh-vy.
Farm Job
I got a job at a farm but I resigned because they didn’t have horses.
I wanted something more stable.
Chiron
In Greek mythology, Chiron is a half-man half-horse who had great knowledge of medicine and health.
So he’s a centaur for disease control.
Horse Racing Obsession
My wife and kids are threatening to leave me because of my obsession with horse-racing.
And they’re off!
Half Man Half Horse
What do you call a half man half horse in the middle of an army formation?
The centaur of attention.
Horse Riding
To ride a horse or not to ride a horse.
That is equestrian.
Blacksmith Interview
I went for an interview at a blacksmith’s yesterday.
The blacksmith asked me, “Are you any good at shoeing horses?”
I said, “No, but I once told a donkey to get lost.”
Horse Walks Into Bar
A horse walks into a bar.
The bartender says, “Hey!”
The horse says, “Yes, please!”
Explosive Horse
What do you call an explosive horse?
Neigh-palm.
That’s A Funny Name
I have a horse named Mayo.
Mayo neighs.
So That’s What They Mean
A man was hospitalized with 6 plastic toy horses stuck up his butt.
Doctors described his condition as stable.
I Had A Dream
I had a dream about a horse last night.
It turned out to be a night mare.
What Kind Of Fly?
One day a fly is buzzing around a wolf hound and decides to ask him, “What kind of dog are you?”
The dog replies, “I’m a wolf hound.”
The fly says, “A wolf hound? That’s an odd name. Why do they call you that?”
The dog says, “Well it’s quite simple really. My mother was a hound and my dad was a wolf.”
The fly replies, “Oh, I see…”
Then the dog asks the fly, “So, what kind of fly are you?”
The fly says, “I’m a horse-fly.”
The dog says, “NOOO WAAAAYYYYY!!!”
