Fire up these funny dragon jokes and puns if you want to breathe a bit of laughter into your life! The noise of your chuckling will be off the scale!
Funny Dragon Jokes
Santa hit a dragon and killed it whilst flying over medieval England.
I guess you could say he sleighed it.
How much does a dragon weigh?
It depends on the scales.
Two dragons were sitting in a bar.
Dragon 1: It’s hot in here.
Dragon 2: Shut your mouth.
What do you call a dragon in a silk gown?
A kimono dragon.
What do you call two ice dragons?
Twice dragons.
A hero comes to a village one day.
The villagers all look very upset, so the hero asks them why.
“There is a huge dragon living in the mountain. Every week, it comes down and eats one of our virgin girls,” the villagers reply.
The hero then promises to help.
Two weeks later, the dragon starved to death.
How do you get dragon milk?
From a cow with short legs.
Why are model dragons always disappointing?
They are never to scale.
Why do dragons sleep during the day?
So they can fight knights.
What do you call the cow that slayed a dragon?
Legendairy.
How can you tell a boy dragon from a girl dragon?
Fireballs.
Why do dragons never do any planning?
They like to wing it.
What’s a dragon’s favorite snack?
Firecrackers.
What do you call a dragon with no wings?
Draggin.
My dragon is asleep.
He’s now dragoff.
What do you get when a dragon sneezes?
Out of the way.
What do dragons like with their soup?
Firecrackers.
How does Smaug move files from one folder to another?
Dragon drop.
Why are dragons the worst story tellers?
Because they dragon.
What does a dragon have before bedtime?
A knight cap.
You think musical wizards are weird?
Imagine dragons.
I’d hate to be a dragon.
I’d get so angry trying to blow out my birthday candles.
Never get into a conversation with a flying reptile.
Their conversations always dragon for way too long.
What’s worse than an insult from a leprechaun?
A burn from a dragon.
Why didn’t the dragon observe the Sabbath?
He only preys on weak knights.
What do you call a Chinese dragon’s beard?
Low mane.
What’s the difference between a knight and Santa’s reindeer?
One slays the dragon, and the other’s draggin’ the sleigh.
What do you call a dragon librarian?
A book wyrm.
What is a dragon’s favorite band?
The Flaming Lips.
What did the dragon say to the bad employee?
You’re fired.
What’s the difference between Game of Thrones and United Airlines?
One has dragons and the other has drag-offs.
A man throws a dollar coin into a wishing well and a genie pops out.
The genie tells him, “You have thrown the largest money value into this well since it has been built. You may have one wish.”
“I want a dragon.”
“Are you sure? That’s… pretty big, and would probably give me away. Anything else?”
“I want to learn how to fold a fitted sheet.”
“What color dragon do you want?”
Why did the dragon cross the road?
He wanted to eat some chicken.
What’s a tired dragon’s favorite steak?
Flaming yawn.
A knight is fighting a dragon.
He cuts its head, but the dragon grows two new heads.
The knight cuts them, but the dragon grows 4 heads.
The knight cuts them, the dragon grows 8 heads.
The knight cuts them, the dragon grows 16 heads.
The knight cuts them, the dragon grows 32 heads.
The knight cuts them, the dragon grows 64 heads.
The knight cuts them, the dragon grows 128 heads.
The knight cuts them and the dragon is finally dead.
It was an 8-bit dragon.
A poor vagabond, travelling a country road in England, tired and hungry, came to a roadside inn with a sign reading: “George and the Dragon.”
He knocked.
The innkeeper’s wife stuck her head out a window.
“Could ye spare some food?” he asked.
The woman glanced at his shabby clothes and obviously poor condition.
“No!” she said rather sternly.
“Could I have a pint of ale?”
“No!” she snapped again.
“Could I at least sleep in your stable?”
“No!”
By this time, she was fairly shouting.
The vagabond tried again: “Might I please…?”
“What now?” the woman interrupted impatiently.
“Do you suppose I might have a word with George instead?”
What do you call a dragon with no silver?
A dron.
A dragon would never explode…
But a dino might.
Why are dragons so good at rapping?
Because they’re always spitting fire.
Why are dragons such good storytellers?
They all have tails.
A leprechaun, a walking tree, and a dragon walk into a bar.
I should quit drinking.
More Funny Jokes
If you enjoyed these hilarious puns and jokes about dragons, be sure to take a look around the rest of LaffGaff for lots more funny jokes, such as these:
