Halloween Jokes And Puns

Did you know that Halloween developed from the ancient Celtic festival of Samhain? No? Us neither. Anyway, wherever they came from, it’s scary how good these funny Halloween jokes and puns are! Make no bones about it, you won’t find any witch are better to tickle a skeleton’s funny bone!

In fact, once you read them, you’re bound to become fangs of them! Anyway, enough bad Halloween puns – enjoy these hilariously corny Halloween jokes for kids and adults alike.

A frighteningly funny collection of hilarious Halloween jokes

Best Corny Halloween Jokes For Kids & Adults

Bat Jokes

What’s the first thing bats learn in school?

The alpha-bat.

How do girl vampires flirt?

They bat their eyes.

How do vampires get into their houses?

Through the bat flap.

What happens when a bat dies?

The newspaper prints their obaturary.

Where do bats practice their baseball?

In the batting cage.

Why are most softball games played at night?

Because the bats have to sleep during the day.

How did the two bat lovers first meet?

On a blind date.

What do you call a baby bat?

A battle.

Where do bats take a shower?

In the bat room.

How are bats like real-estate agents?

It’s all echo-location location location.

Dracula Jokes

Did you know vampires aren’t real?

Unless you Count Dracula.

Why did Dracula lie in the wrong coffin?

He made a grave mistake.

Why did Dracula take cold medicine?

To stop his coffin.

For Halloween I’ve got a job making plastic Draculas.

There’s only two of us working here so I have to make every second count.

What do you get when Dracula bites a pig?

A hampire.

Why can’t Superman beat Dracula?

Because he’s afraid to go into the crypt tonight.

What subject did Dracula major in during college?


Where does Dracula buy his pencils?


Count Dracula returned a mirror to my shop yesterday.

He said it wasn’t faulty, he just couldn’t see himself using it.

What happened when Dracula uploaded illegal content to YouTube?

A Count suspended.

Ghost Jokes

What do ghosts wash their hair with?


Why are ghosts so fat?

Because they’re scared to exorcise.

What would you get if you crossed a turkey with a ghost?

A poultrygeist.

You wanna hear a joke about ghosts?


That’s the spirit!

Why did the tiny ghost join the football team?

He heard they needed a little team spirit.

I suspected my girlfriend was a ghost right from the beginning.

Starting with the moment she walked through those doors.

Why do ghosts hang out at bars?

Because they like booze.

Which room will you never see a ghost in?

The living room.

When a street performer dies, does he become a ghost busker?

Why are ghosts such bad liars?

Because you can see right through them.

What’s a ghost’s favourite dessert?

Boo-berry pie.

Where does a ghost go on vacation?


What is up a ghost’s nose?


What are a ghost’s favorite rides at the fair?

The scary go-round and the roller-ghoster.

Mummy Jokes

What is it called when two mummies fart at the same time?


A mummy phones a restaurant and asks to reserve a table for the Pharaoh Sakrakhotep I.

The woman at the restaurant says, “Could you spell it out, please?”

The mummy says, “Of course: bird, two triangles, wavy line, bird again, jackal’s head, and a scarab.”

Archaeologists have uncovered a mummy in Egypt covered in nuts and chocolate.

They believe it’s Pharaoh Roche.

What do you call a male Mummy with a cold?

I’m not sure either. Sir Cough I guess.

Did you hear they found a mummy without bandages?

Archaeologists think they started the mummification process, but didn’t have time to wrap it up.

Why did the mummy get a divorce?

His wife was a ghoul-digger.

Why are mummies scared of vacation?

They’re afraid to unwind.

Why didn’t the man accept the mummy’s business proposition?

He thought it might be a pyramid scheme.

I passed my mummy embalming exam easily.

It was a no-brainer.

Why are mummies so hard for archaeologists to find?

Because they’re all kept under wraps.

What do mummies like listening to on Halloween?

Wrap music.

Skeleton Jokes

Why don’t skeletons ever go trick or treating?

Because they have no body to go with.

Why didn’t the skeleton want to go to school?

Because his heart wasn’t in it.

How did the skeleton know it was going to rain on Halloween?

He could feel it in his bones.

Why do skeletons never take any risks?

Because they have no guts.

What’s a skeleton’s favorite musical instrument?

The sax-a-bone.

Why couldn’t the skeleton hurt itself?

Because it didn’t have the nerves.

What do skeletons use to mug people?

A shoulder blade.

Why didn’t the skeleton like the Halloween candy?

He didn’t have the stomach for it.

Why was the skeleton sad?

Because he had no body to love.

How do you catch a skeleton?

With a rib cage.

Why do skeletons shy away from horror movies?

They have no stomach for them.

Vampire Jokes

What do you call a vaping vampire?

Vlad the Inhaler.

A man was drinking the blood of a vampire.

He said, “Hmm, irony.”

Why don’t vampires bet on horses?

They can’t handle the stakes.

To kill a French vampire you need to drive a baguette through its heart.

It sounds easy but the process is painstaking.

Why are vampires so impulsive?

They never reflect on things.

I’ve set up a company to rid people of vampires.

I’m the main stakeholder.

Why don’t vampires go to barbecues?

They don’t like steak.

When does an idea kill a vampire?

When it dawns on them.

What kind of boat do vampires like?

Blood vessels.

How do you kill a vegan vampire?

With a steak to the heart.

What do you get if you cross a teacher with a vampire?

A blood test.

Which fruit is a vampire’s favorite?

A neck-tarine.

Witch Jokes

“Dad, how do you cast spells?”

“You just follow the instructions.”

“Which instructions?”

“Yeah, they’re the ones.”

What sound does a witch’s vehicle make?


Witches and wizards don’t fart.

They cast smells.

What’s the difference between a woman and a witch?

The spelling.

Where do witches bake their cookies?

In a coven.

Which illness are witches most prone to?

Crone’s disease.

How did the first witch talk to the second witch?

She cauldron the phone.

Why do witches have their names printed on their shirts?

So you can tell which witch is which.

Why do witches not wear a normal hat?

Because there’s no point in it.

Did you hear about the witch who got plastic surgery?

She looked really good afterwarts.

Why didn’t the witch ride on her broom when she was upset?

She was afraid she would fly off the handle.

What do you call a witch who goes to the beach?

A sand witch.

Werewolf Jokes

A man says to a werewolf, “You’re a werewolf.”

The werewolf says, “Yes, I’m awere.”

What do you call a Youtuber who is a werewolf?

A lycansubscribe.

What’s the distant cousin of the werewolf?

The way over therewolf.

What’s a werewolf’s favorite drink?


What do you call a fat Irish werewolf?


What are aging werewolf barbers most afraid of?

Silver mullets.

What is a werewolf’s favorite day of the week?


What did the werewolf say to his friends when they met?

Howl y’all doing?

I got bitten by a werewolf and I’m turning into one myself.

I think I’m lycan it so far.

What time do werewolf cowboys have a shootout?

High moon.

Zombie Jokes

What do vegetarian zombies eat?


What do you call a zombie that writes music?

A decomposer.

What do zombie plumbers crave?


What do you call a zombie who stir fries?

A dead man wokking.

What do dyslexic zombies eat?


What do you call a zombie who doesn’t joke around?

Dead serious.

What do you call it when a zombie steals an idea?


What’s the one thing all zombies want?

Piece of mind.

What’s a zombie’s favorite drink?

A stiff one.

If zombies eat humans…

Does that mean they bite the hand that feeds them?

What’s a zombie’s favorite type of bean?

Human beans.

Why did the zombie stay home from school?

He felt rotten.

More Funny Halloween Jokes & Puns

Here are even more collections of scary good Halloween humor, jokes, puns and other Halloween fun for you to enjoy! Happy Halloween!

Featured image for a collection of funny bat jokes to get your teeth into.

Bat Jokes And Puns

A collection of hilariously funny bat jokes and vampire jokes to get your teeth into – perfect for Halloween!

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Broom Jokes

You may try to brush it off as a sweeping generalisation but we’re sure these funny broom jokes and broom puns are going to sweep the nation!

Featured image for a page of funny Dracula jokes and puns.

Dracula Jokes

Upon reflection, we’re prepared to stake a claim for these being the funniest Dracula jokes around. You won’t find better in the same vein!

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Frankenstein Jokes

We’ve bolted together this monster collection of funny Frankenstein jokes and puns just for you! They really bring Halloween to life with laughter!

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Funny Ghost Jokes Anyone Can Remember

These scarily funny ghost jokes are sure to raise your spirits! Yes, there’s no nightmarishly bad jokes here, in fact they’re all dead funny!

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Funny Halloween Puns

These Halloween puns really are fang-tastic! You definitely won’t get any boos from your audience if you tell these to them!

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Funny Skeleton Jokes & Puns

These funny skeleton jokes are sure to tickle your funny bone! They’re perfect for adding a little humor to Halloween, or indeed any other occasion.

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Funny Vampire Puns And Jokes

Bad vampire puns and jokes can really drive you batty. Don’t worry though, because none of these examples suck!

Featured image for a page of funny werewolf jokes and puns.

Funny Werewolf Jokes & Puns

To be fur, these werewolf jokes and puns are hilarious. Sink your teeth into them and you’re sure to be howling with laughter!

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Funny Witch Jokes & Puns

There’s always b-room for funny witch jokes and these examples are certainly spellbinding! And no need to hag-gle over them – they’re free, just for you!

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Funny Zombie Jokes & Puns

You’d have to be dead inside not to laugh at these funny zombie jokes and puns. Indeed, it would be a grave mistake to miss them!

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Halloween Knock Knock Jokes

These Halloween knock knock jokes are scarily funny! They’d tickle even a skeleton’s funny bone and you’re sure to fang us for them!

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Haunted House Jokes

We found room to bring you our favorite funny haunted house jokes and puns! Don’t be scared to share them with your friends – it won’t come back to haunt you if you do!

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Jack-O-Lantern Jokes

We’ve carved out this fantastic collection of hilarious jack-o-lantern jokes and puns for you. They’re sure to light up your face this Halloween!

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Monster Jokes

Here’s a monstrous collection of the very best monster jokes and puns we found hiding under our bed! They’re dead funny and scary good!

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Pumpkin Jokes

It was easy as pie to bring you these pumpkin jokes and puns because they’re extra tasty. In fact, they’re so gourd we’re confident you’ll love them!

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Spookily Funny Mummy Jokes & Puns

You’d have to travel a Pharaoh’ld way to discover a better selection of mummy jokes than these. Unwrap them now, just in time for Halloween!

More Halloween Humor & Fun

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Horror Movie Trivia Questions And Answers

Don’t be scared of these fun free horror movie trivia questions! The answers are provided so there’s no need to worry, just relax and have fun with our scary movie quiz!

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Scary Jokes And Puns

These scary jokes and puns are so funny it’s frightening! They’ll make you scream with hair-raising laughter!

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Turkey Jokes & Puns

There’s nothing fowl about these funny turkey jokes and puns, they’re hilarious! And the good news is that we’ve stuffed as many of them in as we can fit!

More Holiday Jokes

Don’t miss the rest of our holiday jokes and other fun and laughter, including these:

More Fun And Laughter

If you enjoyed this collection of corny Halloween jokes, be sure to check out the rest of LaffGaff for lots more fun, laughter, jokes and riddles. We have a huge selection of funny jokes, trivia questions and answers, funny quotes, quizzes, riddles and pick up lines, so there’s something for everyone!