Mother’s Day is the one day of the year when your Mom comes first.
That doesn’t mean you can’t have a joke at her expense though!
So with that in mind, here’s a collection of our favorite funny Mother’s Day jokes… (we still love you Mom, we’re only joking!)
I shouted to my Mom on Mother’s Day, “How does breakfast in bed sound?”
She said, “Ooh that sounds lovely!
I said, “Great, I’ll have bacon, fries and two eggs.”
I asked my Mom what she wanted for Mother’s Day.
She said, “Thanks son, but all I want is a bit of caring and looking after.”
So I put her in a nursing home.
For Mother’s Day, I bought my Mom new beads for her abacus.
It’s the little things that count.
I got my Mom a scratchcard for Mother’s Day but I couldn’t resist scratching it off myself, and would you believe it – it was a $10,000 winner!
I’m sure she’ll like the flowers.
Last year on Mother’s Day we had a big family get-together. Afterwards my Mom starting getting ready to do the dishes.
Of course I couldn’t let her do that on her special day.
I said, “Leave the dishes, Mom. You can always do them tomorrow.”
I asked my friend what he’s getting his Mom for Mother’s Day.
He said, “Nothing – why do they get a special day just for themselves. Why can’t we have a Son Day?”
I said, “We do – it’s the day after Saturday.”
As today is Mother’s Day, I have three special words for my Mom:
“What’s for dinner?”
My Mom said she’d been looking forward to Mother’s Day for ages.
I said, “Why? Your Mum’s dead.”
My friend asked me what I’d bought for Mother’s Day.
I said, “Some suspenders and sexy underwear and I’ve booked a hotel room.”
He said, “Don’t you think that’s a bit inappropriate for your Mom?”
I said, “Oh it’s not for my Mom. It’s all for yours.”
I really wanted a games console so I presented my Mum with a Playstation 4 for Mother’s Day.
She said, “Why am I not surprised?”
I said, “‘Because there’s no wrapping paper?”
A family was having dinner on Mother’s Day but the mother was unusually quiet. Finally, her husband asked what was wrong.
“Nothing,” said the woman.
Not believing her, he asked again. “No seriously, what’s wrong?”
Finally she said, “Do you really want to know? Well, I’ll tell you. I have cooked and cleaned and fed the kids for 15 years and on Mother’s Day, you don’t even tell me so much as ‘Thank you.'”
“Why should I?” he said. “Not once in 15 years have I had a Father’s Day gift.”
“Yes,” she said, “but I’m their real mother.”
I thought breakfast in bed would be a nice Mother’s Day treat for my Mom.
So I’ve put a camp bed next to the stove for her.
A mother is trying to get her son to eat his carrots. She says, “You know they’re good for your eyes.”
The son says, “How do you know that?”
The mom replies, “Have you ever seen a rabbit wearing glasses?”
Mom asked me where I’m taking her to go out to eat for Mother’s Day.
I told her, “We already have food in the house”.
For Mother’s Day, I bought my Mom a mug that says, “From the world’s worst son”.
I forgot to mail it but I think she knows anyway.
What are the best type of flowers for a boy to buy his Mom for Mother’s Day?
Why is a computer so smart?
Because it listens to its motherboard.
Why don’t they have Mother’s Day sales?
Because mothers are priceless.
What’s the difference between Superman and mothers?
Superman is only a superhero every now and then. Mothers are superheroes all the time.
Why do mothers have to have two visits to the optometrist?
Because they also have eyes in the back of their head.
I got a new car for my Mom this Mother’s Day.
It’s the best trade I ever made.
This Mother’s Day send the gift of Microsoft Office.
Word to your mother.
3 guys, who were brothers, were discussing what gifts they were getting for their elderly mother for Mother’s Day.
The first brother, Brian, said, “I bought Mom her very own Lexus and chauffeur. She was always complaining about not being able to drive well.”
Charlie, the second brother, said,”I bought Mom a penthouse apartment. She always complains about the house she lives in.”
Steve, the third brother, said, “I bought Mom a parrot that can speak 7 languages.”
A few days after Mother’s Day, the boys receive a letter from their mother, which read:
“To my dear 3 boys,
Thank you for all your nice Mother’s Day gifts.
However, I couldn’t use the car that Brian gave me because I’m too old to go out anymore and the chauffeur is mean.
The new penthouse from Charlie is nice, but it is too big for me to clean each day and I’m only ever in the bedroom.
But Steve, you did a fine job in choosing a gift. The chicken was delicious.”
Steve is shocked and calls his mother. “Mother, that was a parrot. Why did you eat it? It could speak 7 languages!”
His mother said, “Well then, why didn’t it say something?”
Mother’s Day Jokes
If you enjoyed our collection of funny Mother’s Day jokes, why not check out the rest of our funny holiday jokes, including these: