LaffGaff is all about really funny jokes and anything that makes us laugh – we believe that laughter makes the world go round. The world would be a much duller place without a sense of humor, wouldn’t it?
And when it comes to good jokes, they don’t come any more hilarious than these great collections of all our best jokes! So we hope you get as much fun and laughter from them as we do.
Very Funny Jokes To Tell
6 was scared of 7 because 7, 8 ,9 but why did 7 eat 9?
Because you’re supposed to eat 3 squared meals a day.
If Watson isn’t the most famous doctor in the world…
Then Who is.
I just farted in my wallet.
Now I have gas money.
So, you don’t trust a doctor to stitch you up?
Fine. Suture self.
I got the words “jacuzzi” and “yakuza” confused.
Now I’m in hot water with the Japanese mafia.
I don’t know why Marvel hasn’t tried to put advertisements on the Hulk.
He’s essentially a giant banner.
My job is to drill holes in things and then bolt them together.
At first it’s boring, but later on, it’s riveting.
“Dad, are we pyromaniacs?”
“Yes, we arson.”
First astronaut: “Hey, I can’t find any milk for my coffee.”
Second astronaut: “In space, no one can. here, use cream.”
The only thing flat-earthers fear…
Is sphere itself.
Three conspiracy theorists walk into a bat.
You can’t tell me that’s just a coincidence.
My mother used to say the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach.
My wife found out I was cheating after she found the letters I was hiding.
She got mad and said she’s never playing Scrabble with me again.
I went for a job interview today.
The interviewer asked me, “What’s your biggest weakness?”
I said, “Answering the semantics of a question but ignoring the pragmatics.”
The interviewer said, “Could you give me an example?”
I said, “Yes, I could.”
My friend said to me, “I won’t use stores that gender kids’ beds.”
I said, “Like a boycott?”
She said, “Don’t you start.”
I was going to donate blood today, but they always ask way too many personal questions.
Like, “Whose blood is this”, and, “Where did you get it?”
Honestly, I don’t mind leg day at the gym.
It’s just the two days after that I can’t stand.
I’m addicted to ordering hatchets from other countries because of the smell.
I love foreign axe scents.
What sounds like a sneeze and is made of leather?
What did the left eye say to the right eye?
Between you and me, something smells.
What was Icarus’ least favorite food?
The last thing my grandfather said before he died was “Pints, liters, gallons!”
That spoke volumes.
The oldest computer can be traced to Adam and Eve.
Yes, it was an Apple.
But with an extremely limited memory.
Just one byte.
Then everything crashed.
I got fired from my job as a chef for stealing kitchen equipment.
It was a whisk I was willing to take.
I got pulled over by a traffic cop.
He walked up to my window and said, “Papers.”
I said, “Scissors, I win,” and I drove off.
He must be desperate for a re-match because he’s been chasing me for ages.
I gave up my seat on the bus for a blind person.
Which is how I lost my job as a bus driver.
Einstein developed a theory about space.
It was about time too.
I asked the librarian if they had any books on paranoia.
She whispered, “They’re right behind you.”
That’s a nice ham you’ve got there.
It would be a shame if someone put an ‘s’ at the front and an ‘e’ at the end.
I have a condition that makes me eat when i can’t sleep.
It’s called insom-nom-nom-nom-nom-nia.
Genie: What’s your first wish?
Steve: I wish I was rich.
Genie: What’s your second wish?
Rich: I want lots of money.
Accordion to a recent survey…
Replacing words in a sentence with the names of musical instruments often goes undetected.
How do you know if a sniper likes you?
He misses you.
I went to the doctors and told him I was having problems with my hearing.
He said, “Can you describe the symptoms?”
I said, “They’re yellow, Homer’s fat, and Marge has blue hair.”
Did you know Santa actually only had two reindeer?
Rudolph and Olive, the other reindeer.
The invention of the shovel was groundbreaking.
But the invention of the broom swept the nation.
“Hello everyone, and welcome to plastic surgery addicts anonymous.”
“I see a lot of new faces here tonight, and I have to say I’m pretty disappointed.”
Why did I want to become an editor?
Well, to make a long story short …
Why do cell phones not wear glasses?
Because they have contacts.
What did the assassin do when he was hungry?
What do you call someone who only eats tiny bits of other people?
I was in a bar last night.
The bartender said, “I see your glass is empty. Would you like another one?”
I said, “Why would I want two empty glasses?”
Prisoner: I’m sorry I tried to escape.
Guard: I’m not mad, just… disappointed.
Remember, kids, never let your guard down.
Top Jokes Collections
A collection of the most hilarious jokes we’ve ever published. If you like funny jokes, you’ll love these!
If you’re a true laughter-lover who likes their humor quick and to the point, check out all our hilarious short gags.
LaffGaff is all about funny clean jokes and we thought it was time we put together a compilation of some of our favorite ones. Enjoy!
There’s a huge variety of animals in the world, which is great news for laughter lovers because it means there’s also a huge number of funny animal jokes and puns too!
Whether it be Easter, Mother’s Day or any other occasion, holidays are a time to enjoy being with our family, and they’re also a time for hilarious holiday humor too!
These hilarious jokes about people are sure to get you laughing. What better way to cheer yourself up than to laugh at others!
If you have a dirty sense of humor and like your laughs to be risque, then these collections of the best dirty jokes are sure to be right up your alley!
We prayed to the God of laughter and he answered our prayers by giving us this page of raucous religious repartee. We have faith that you’ll find them as hilarious as us!
All jokes are to some extent stupid, but it’s the really dumb stupid ones that are often the funniest of all. Especially these ones!
Christmas is a time of great joy and celebration. And it’s also a time of great fun and laughter, as shown by this collection of hilarious Christmas humor!
It’s scary how good these hilarious Halloween jokes are! Make no bones about it, you won’t find any witch are better!
Arm yourself with these funny comebacks and never lose a battle of insults again!
Funny relationship jokes are always engaging (see what we did there!), and none more so than this hilarious collection!
Scientific research has shown these to be the most funny science jokes known to man. You’re sure to find them humerus!
These funny school jokes and puns are top class! In fact, they’re guaranteed to pass any hilarity test!
Work can be hard, err…., work sometimes but face it with a smile and a laugh and it’s not as bad. So enjoy these wicked work witticisms.
If you like your jokes quick and clever, then you’re sure to love this collection of all the best one liner gags!
Really funny Yo Mama insults. Yo Mama so fat, Yo Momma so ugly and many more. Never be short of a comeback again!
Here at LaffGaff, we publish a new funny joke of the day each and every day of the year. So there’s always a new daily giggle waiting for you.
There’s no discre-puncy here – these are hilariously pun-tastic examples of what funny puns should be!
Hilarious collections of knock knock jokes for kids, and of course, big kids too.
More Fun And Laughter
If you enjoyed these collections of the best of all our really funny jokes, be sure to check out the rest of LaffGaff for lots more fun and laughter. We have a huge selection of trivia questions and answers, funny quotes, quizzes, brainteasers and riddles, and pick up lines, so there’s something for everyone!