LaffGaff is all about really funny jokes and anything that makes us laugh – we believe that laughter makes the world go round. The world would be a much duller place without a sense of humor, wouldn’t it?
And when it comes to good jokes, they don’t come any more hilarious than these great collections of all our best jokes! So we hope you get as much fun and laughter from them as we do.
Favorite Funny Jokes
Keep up with all the latest jokes with our funny joke of the day!
If you like your humor quick and to the point, check out all our funny short jokes.
Very Funny Jokes To Tell
Sixes And Sevens
6 was scared of 7 because 7, 8 ,9 but why did 7 eat 9?
Because you’re supposed to eat 3 squared meals a day.
Most Famous Doctor
If Watson isn’t the most famous doctor in the world…
Then Who is.
I just farted in my wallet.
Now I have gas money.
Lack Of Trust
So, you don’t trust a doctor to stitch you up?
Fine. Suture self.
I got the words “jacuzzi” and “yakuza” confused.
Now I’m in hot water with the Japanese mafia.
I don’t know why Marvel hasn’t tried to put advertisements on the Hulk.
He’s essentially a giant banner.
My job is to drill holes in things and then bolt them together.
At first it’s boring, but later on, it’s riveting.
“Dad, are we pyromaniacs?”
“Yes, we arson.”
First astronaut: “Hey, I can’t find any milk for my coffee.”
Second astronaut: “In space, no one can. here, use cream.”
The only thing flat-earthers fear…
Is sphere itself.
Three conspiracy theorists walk into a bar.
You can’t tell me that’s just a coincidence.
A Man’s Heart
My mother used to say the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach.
My wife found out I was cheating after she found the letters I was hiding.
She got mad and said she’s never playing Scrabble with me again.
I went for a job interview today.
The interviewer asked me, “What’s your biggest weakness?”
I said, “Answering the semantics of a question but ignoring the pragmatics.”
The interviewer said, “Could you give me an example?”
I said, “Yes, I could.”
My friend said to me, “I won’t use stores that gender kids’ beds.”
I said, “Like a boycott?”
She said, “Don’t you start.”
I was going to donate blood today, but they always ask way too many personal questions.
Like, “Whose blood is this”, and, “Where did you get it?”
Honestly, I don’t mind leg day at the gym.
It’s just the two days after that I can’t stand.
I’m addicted to ordering hatchets from other countries because of the smell.
I love foreign axe scents.
What sounds like a sneeze and is made of leather?
What did the left eye say to the right eye?
Between you and me, something smells.
What was Icarus’ least favorite food?
Grandpa’s Last Words
The last thing my grandfather said before he died was “Pints, liters, gallons!”
That spoke volumes.
The oldest computer can be traced to Adam and Eve.
Yes, it was an Apple.
But with an extremely limited memory.
Just one byte.
Then everything crashed.
I got fired from my job as a chef for stealing kitchen equipment.
It was a whisk I was willing to take.
I got pulled over by a traffic cop.
He walked up to my window and said, “Papers.”
I said, “Scissors, I win,” and I drove off.
He must be desperate for a re-match because he’s been chasing me for ages.
I gave up my seat on the bus for a blind person.
Which is how I lost my job as a bus driver.
Einstein developed a theory about space.
It was about time too.
I asked the librarian if they had any books on paranoia.
She whispered, “They’re right behind you.”
That’s a nice ham you’ve got there.
It would be a shame if someone put an ‘s’ at the front and an ‘e’ at the end.
I have a condition that makes me eat when I can’t sleep.
It’s called insom-nom-nom-nom-nom-nia.
Genie: What’s your first wish?
Steve: I wish I was rich.
Genie: What’s your second wish?
Rich: I want lots of money.
Accordion to a recent survey…
Replacing words in a sentence with the names of musical instruments often goes undetected.
How do you know if a sniper likes you?
He misses you.
I went to the doctors and told him I was having problems with my hearing.
He said, “Can you describe the symptoms?”
I said, “They’re yellow, Homer’s fat, and Marge has blue hair.”
Did you know Santa actually only had two reindeer?
Rudolph and Olive, the other reindeer.
The invention of the shovel was groundbreaking.
But the invention of the broom swept the nation.
Plastic Surgery Addicts
“Hello everyone, and welcome to plastic surgery addicts anonymous.”
“I see a lot of new faces here tonight, and I have to say I’m pretty disappointed.”
Became An Editor
Why did I want to become an editor?
Well, to make a long story short …
Cell Phone Glasses
Why do cell phones not wear glasses?
Because they have contacts.
What did the assassin do when he was hungry?
What do you call someone who only eats tiny bits of other people?
I was in a bar last night.
The bartender said, “I see your glass is empty. Would you like another one?”
I said, “Why would I want two empty glasses?”
Prisoner: I’m sorry I tried to escape.
Guard: I’m not mad, just… disappointed.
Remember, kids, never let your guard down.
More Top Jokes Collections
Here are even more collections of really funny jokes for you to enjoy!
These corny Dad jokes are all groan up! Great for Dads to tell their kids!
If you have a dirty sense of humor these collections are sure to be right up your alley!
It’s the really silly jokes that are often the funniest of all. Especially these ones!
Lend us your ear and we’ll tell you some really corny jokes!
There’s a huge variety of animals in the world, which is great news for laughter lovers because it means there’s also a huge number of funny animal jokes and puns too!
These hilarious jokes about people are sure to get you laughing. What better way to cheer yourself up than to laugh at others! In a nice way, of course!
It’s scary how good these hilarious Halloween jokes are! Make no bones about it, you won’t find any witch are better!
These really bad jokes are so awful that if you don’t laugh, you’ll cry!
Funny relationship jokes are always engaging (see what we did there!), and none more so than this hilarious collection!
These funny school jokes and puns are top class! In fact, they’re guaranteed to pass any hilarity test!
If you like your jokes quick and clever, then you’re sure to love this collection of all the best one liner gags!
If you’re a fan of dark humor then you’ll love these hilarious dark jokes. Not for the faint-hearted or easily-offended!
Some classic jokes are golden not olden. They never grow old but remain funny no matter how many times they’re retold.
A collection of our favorite funny short stories for you to enjoy. Hilarious stories and jokes guaranteed to raise a smile.
Make sure you get a pizza the action with this page that is stuffed full of hilarious pizza jokes and puns that can’t be topped!
Hilarious collections of kid knock knock jokes, just as funny for big kids too, of course!
Funny! That’s what you call these What Do You Call jokes!
A great selection of the best funny jokes for kids. Suitable for big kids too, of course!
These jokes are too cute for words! It’s a good job their funniness speaks for itself!
Whether it be Easter, Mother’s Day or any other occasion, holidays are a time to enjoy being with our family, and they’re also a time for hilarious holiday humor too!
Christmas is a time of great joy and celebration. And it’s also a time of great fun and laughter, as shown by this collection of hilarious Christmas humor!
Arm yourself with these fantastic funny comebacks and never lose a battle of insults again!
These anti jokes really shouldn’t be funny, but somehow we think that you’ll laugh at them!
Scientific research has shown these to be the most funny science jokes known to man. You’re sure to find them humerus!
Work can be hard, err…., work sometimes but face it with a smile and a laugh and it’s not as bad. So enjoy these wicked work jokes.
Really funny Yo Mama insults. Yo Mama so fat, Yo Momma so ugly and many more. Never be short of a comeback again!
Here’s another great selection of morbid jokes and bleakly black humor for all those who like that sort of thing. Weirdos!
We hope from the heart of our bottoms that you enjoy this stinking great pile of really funny poop jokes and puns!
If you’re a fan of puns and clever jokes, then you’ll love this amusing collection of really punny jokes!
Quick and witty, What Do You Call jokes are one of the most popular types of jokes. Enjoy our huge collection of the funniest examples.
Even More Hilarious Jokes And Puns
More Fun And Laughter
If you enjoyed these collections of the best of all our really funny jokes, be sure to check out the rest of LaffGaff for lots more fun and laughter. We have a huge selection of trivia questions and answers, funny quotes, quizzes, brainteasers and riddles, fun facts and pick up lines, so there’s something for everyone!