Writing Jokes And Puns

The pen may be mightier than the sword but the pun is even mightier with these funny writing jokes! It’d be a capital idea for you to read these signature jokes!

Header image for a page of funny writing jokes and puns.

Funny Writing Jokes

“Officer, are you crying while writing me a ticket?””

Cop: It’s a … moving violation.

My wife said, “Why don’t you write a book instead of your stupid word play jokes?”

I said, “That’s … a novel idea.”

My son asked me for something hard to write on.

I don’t know why he got so mad, sand is pretty hard to write on.

Why did Stalin only write in lowercase?

He was afraid of capitalism.

Pirate Ship Captain: I am desperate. Can someone tell me how to write the number 2 in Roman numerals?

Crew: I I Captain.

I bought a pen that can write underwater.

It can write other words as well.

My therapist told me to write letters to everyone who’s hurt me then burn them.

I’ve done that.

Now what do I do with the letters?

I’ve been trying to write some clean jokes about bowling balls.

But they keep ending up in the gutter.

My doctor was struggling to write my prescription when I said, “Doctor, that’s a rectal thermometer in your hand!”

He replied, “Darn it! Someone’s got my pen!”

Why did Winnie the Pooh quit his job writing obituaries?

He didn’t like being the bear of bad news.

What did the sorority girl say when she lost her pen?

“I literally cannot even write now!”

I heard Optimus Prime is writing a book.

It’s an autobotography.

Have you seen the new pen that writes underwater, upside down and in outer space?

It writes lots of other words too.

I started writing poetry recently.


I think its coming along nicely.

I have a friend who writes songs about sewing machines.

He’s a Singer songwriter, or sew it seams.

Dad jokes are the best and I’m now gonna write why…


George Clooney, Leonardo DiCaprio, and Matthew McConaughey got together to make a movie.

GC: I’ll direct.

LD: I’ll produce.

MM: I’ll write, I’ll write, I’ll write.

I got a pen in Barcelona.

It writes so smoothly.

I can get the finest lines out of it.

Everyone is so surprised by it.

Because no one expects the Spanish ink precision.

My wife keeps telling me writing my V’s as B’s makes me Russian.

Well, if that’s the case …

Then Soviet!

I can’t remember how to write 1, 1000, 51, 6 and 500 in Roman numerals.


I was writing a text, and Autocorrect changed “killed” to “kilt”.

Well plaid, phone. Well plaid.

I got a pen from Starbucks.

But it only writes in Javascript.

I write my name in cursive all the time.

It’s my signature move.

I’m starting to write a book about a tornado disaster

It’s just a draft at the moment.

I’ve started writing German poetry.

Could be verse.

What do u call a zombie that writes music?

A decomposer.

I’ve decided to kill off a few characters in the book I’m writing.

It will definitely spice up my autobiography a little.

My cavewoman girlfriend dumped me.

I should have seen the writing on the wall.

Why did Shakespeare only write in ink?

Pencils posed a problem, 2B or not 2B.

Dad, I need help writing a sentence using the word “irony”.

Try this: I licked a golf club and it tasted irony.

I’m writing a musical about puns.

It’s a play on words.

I finally passed my writing skills test.

Good writtens!

I’m writing a book about reverse psychology.

Please don’t buy it.

I’m going to write a book about a guy named Jack who talks to his food.

I’ll call it “Jack and the Beans Talk”.

I’m debating whether to write “YES” on my left hand and “NO” on my right hand.

I mean, on the one hand, yes, but on the other hand, no.

Did you know Tristan was originally a nickname?

People were sick of having to write out Stanstanstan.

I’m finally writing a dad joke about spices.

It’s about thyme.

I’m trying to write a paper comparing the different versions of the Bible.

There’s a lot of cross referencing.

This is the time of the year when I get really annoyed when everyone writes “X” instead of “Christ”.

I calm myself down by playing my Christ Box 360.

I used to be a wrestler.

I would get a guy in a head lock and write my name on their forehead.

It was my signature move.

If I was a superhero, I would be known as Typo Man.

I write all wrongs.



I finished writing my tortilla joke.

That’s a wrap.

My daughter injured her arm and is now in a sling.

She said, “It is hard to write with my left.”

I replied, “It is even harder to left with your right.”

I’m trying to write an unoffical Harry Potter book about Platform 9 and 3/4.

But I feel like I’m hitting a wall.

I hate it when kids these days write “angle” instead of “angel”.

They are just trying to be edgy.

Why can’t a vampire write an autobiography?

They are bad at self reflection.

I lost my notes I was writing for my book called “1,001 ways to cure an itch”.

Guess I’ll have to start from scratch.

I accidentally glued myself to a novel that I just finished writing.

Well, that’s my story and I’m sticking to it.

I tried to write a poem about chicken.

But I’m not very good at poultry.

Writing Jokes

If you liked our puns and jokes about writing, check out the rest of LaffGaff for lots more funny jokes, such as these:

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