Book Jokes & Puns

Reading has many benefits so we thought we’d better book up our ideas. So we’ve turned over a new leaf and brought you these funny book jokes and puns. They’re definitely a good read!

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50 Funny Book Jokes And Puns

My wife said, “Why don’t you write a book instead of your stupid word play jokes?”

I said, “That’s a novel idea.”

After watching me read “War and Peace”, my son asked me, “Dad, why is your book so thick?”

I said, “Well, it’s a long story.”

Today, my son asked, “Can I have a book mark?” and I burst into tears.

11 years old and he still doesn’t know my name is Steve.

I’m reading a horror book in Braille.

Something bad is going to happen.

I can feel it.

I once swallowed a book of synonyms.

It gave me thesaurus throat I’ve ever had.

A book just fell on my head.

I only have my shelf to blame.

I found the first four Harry Potter books to be quite light hearted.

The fifth one was dead Sirius.

I asked my girlfriend what book she was reading

She replied, “It’s a mystery.”

I said, “Doesn’t it say on the cover?”

I walked into a bookstore and asked, “Can I have a book by Shakespeare?”

The guy behind the counter said, “Of course, sir, which one?”

I said, “William.”

My book on clocks finally arrived.

It’s about time!

I just sat on the sharp corner of my hardcover copy of Jane Eyre by Charlotte Bronte.

Now I’ve got a Bronte sore ass.

All the comic books I bought from the store are missing the last page.

I have to draw my own conclusions.

I’ve written a book about falling down a staircase.

It’s a step by step guide.

$2.1 million worth of textbooks were stolen the other day.

All eight books were recovered.

I’m writing a book about WD-40.

It’s non-friction.

Apparently, Kim Jong-un has read every book ever written.

That’s why they call him the Supreme Reader.

I just wrote a book on reverse psychology.

Don’t buy it!

Two mice are chewing on a film roll.

The first one says, “I liked the book better.”

Communism sounds good on paper.

Unless you’re reading a history book.

My neighbor’s in the Guinness Book of World Records for having the most concussions.

He lives very close to me. In fact, only a stone’s throw away.

My parents read the book I was writing.

They said the main character wasn’t likeable.

It’s an autobiography.

A police officer accidentally arrested a judge who was dressed as a convict for a costume party.

He soon learned you should never book a judge by their cover.

My top three assumptions when my doorbell rings:

  1. It’s a murderer.
  2. It’s the police come to tell me everyone is dead.
  3. It’s that book I ordered about positive thinking.

I’m writing a book called “Stop Over-Reacting!”

If no-one buys it, I’m going to kill myself.

I went to the book store earlier to buy a “Where’s Wally?” book.

When I got there I couldn’t find the book anywhere.

Well played, Wally, well played.

If anyone is thinking about buying an autobiography, I don’t want to spoil the ending for you but…

They write a book.

I’ve just had a book published about saving the rainforest and what we as a human race can do about it.

It’s over 2,000 pages long.

I just read a book about Stockholm Syndrome.

It was pretty bad at first, but by the end I kinda liked it.

I submitted a book on confectionery to the publishers.

They said I couldn’t write for toffee.

I wrote a book on penguins.

With hindsight, I realize that paper would have been easier.

I read a book on prime numbers to my baby son.

And I had his undivided attention.

I asked my son to go get me a phone book. He laughed, called me a dinosaur, and handed me his iPhone.

The spider is dead, the iPhone screen is cracked, and my son is furious!

Today I launched a book aimed at 9-12 year olds.

I’m proud to say I managed to hit one of the little brats.

Two books meet in a library. The first book says, “You don’t look too well”.

The other book replies “Just had my appendix removed.”

I heard Optimus Prime is writing a book.

It’s an autobotography.

I got the book “Internet Forums for Dummies” from a friend.

But I need to take it back, because I already Reddit.

Why was the math book so depressed?

It had so many problems.

I liked the Harry Potter books, but…

I feel like the character of Nearly Headless Nick was a bit poorly executed.

What do you call it when you take a picture of your favorite bookcase?

A shelf-ie.

I forgot the French for strawberry, so I looked it up in a fraise book.

The preacher annotated his hymn book.

It was a guided missal.

Of all my books, my favorite is the one I received last Christmas.

There is no tome like the present.

I read this book about Mount Everest.

It was quite the cliff hanger.

I wrote a book about birds.

It flew off the shelf.

High school grammar books are parse for the course.

I once read a book about black holes.

It really sucked me in.

I read a book about gravity.

It was a heavy subject.

I’m reading a book about anti-gravity.

I can’t put it down.

The librarian didn’t know what to do with the book about Tesla’s love of electricity, so he filed it under “Current Affairs.”

I’ve just read a book about a bean growing up in Southern USA.

It’s called “The Adventures of Tom Soya”.

More Funny Jokes

If you got a laugh from reading our funny book jokes and puns, be sure to have a gander at our other funny jokes too, such as these:

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