Here at LaffGaff, we publish a brand new funny joke of the day each and every day of the year.
So make sure you keep coming back for your daily laughs!
Here’s all our latest daily jokes (they’re ideal for celebrating International Joke Day, which is on July 1st):
Who called them Dad jokes instead of Pop corn?
I was waiting at the airport baggage carousel, and noticed that everyone else had a better bag than me.
It was… the worst case scenario.
All of my friends have such expansive bucket lists.
Mine is a little pail in comparison.
When I caught my neighbor attaching a rocket engine to a deer, I immediately reported him to the authorities.
Shame on him for trying to make a quick buck.
I was watching an Australian cooking show, and the audience applauded when the chef made a meringue.
I was surprised. Usually Australians boo meringue.
A man is staying in a hotel. He walks up to the front desk and says, “Sorry, I forgot what room I’m in, can you help me?”
The receptionist replies, “No problem, sir. This is the lobby.””
I just sat on the sharp corner of my hardcover copy of Jane Eyre by Charlotte Bronte.
Now I’ve got a Bronte sore ass.
What’s the difference between mashed potatoes and pea soup?
Anyone can mash potatoes.
I failed my calculus exam because I was seated between two identical twins.
It was hard to differentiate between them.
Son: Why is my sister’s name Paris?
Dad: Because we conceived her in Paris.
Son: Thanks dad.
Dad: No problem Quarantine.
I had an idea for a movie plot where a retired CIA agent searches for his kidnapped daughter in Paris, but it turns out that idea was taken.
I had another idea for one where the same agent is kidnapped with his wife in Istanbul, but it turns out that one was taken too.
Run out of toilet paper and having to use lettuce leaves.
Today was the tip of the iceberg.
My wife claims that she can wax my chest hair without me feeling any pain at all.
I’m nervous she won’t be able to pull it off.
I went for an interview at a blacksmith’s yesterday.
The blacksmith asked me, “Are you any good at shoeing horses?”
I said, “No, but I once told a Donkey to get lost.”
I hate telling people I’m a taxidermist.
When they ask, “So, what do you do for a living?” I just say, “Oh, you know… stuff.”
My roommate tried to keep two crows in our apartment as pets.
The police arrested him for attempted murder.
How do fish get high? Seaweed.
My girlfriend just couldn’t accept my obsession with horoscopes.
In the end it Taurus apart.
A shop assistant tried stopping an armed robber by attacking him with a labeling gun.
Police are now looking for a man with a price on his head.
Earlier, I was driving behind an ambulance when a cooler fell off the back.
I stopped and opened it up to find a foot inside.
So I decided to call a toe-truck.
I asked my wife for suggestions for an exercise routine.
She said, “Why don’t you try lunges?”
I said, “That’s a big step.”
When single ladies get to the age of 50, they tend to get lots of cats.
This phenomenon is known as many paws.
News just in: Local police have acquired 1,000 bees.
They’re believed to be used as part of a sting operation.
A few minutes ago, I came to the conclusion that tofu is overrated.
It’s just a curd to me.
I grew up in a rough neighbourhood.
As a child people would cover me in chocolate, cream and put a cherry on my head.
It was tough in the gateau.
I made a playlist for hiking.
It has music from Peanuts, the Cranberries and Eminem.
I call it my Trail Mix.
