French Skeleton
How does a French skeleton say hello?
Bone-jour!
Joke Of The Day
Here at LaffGaff, we publish a brand new funny joke of the day each and every day of the year. So make sure you keep coming back for your daily laughs, including Dad jokes, corny jokes for kids and adults, stupid jokes, short jokes, and more!
Below are all our latest daily jokes (they’re ideal for celebrating International Joke Day, which is on July 1st):
Latest Daily Jokes
Angry Paediatrician
Funny Angry Paediatrician Joke Why was the paediatrician always losing his temper? He had little patients.
Irreplaceable
My friend worked as a human cannonball act in the circus. When he retired they never replaced him.
They couldn’t find anyone else of the same caliber.
School Of Rock
How do you get into the School of Rock?
You rock enroll.
Which country singer performed at Folsom Prison in 1968?
Show answer
Johnny Cash.
Decimal Fan
I don’t understand why some people choose to use fractions instead of decimals.
It’s pointless.
Everest Climber
People are always skeptical when I say I climbed Mount Everest.
But it’s true, I made it up.
Spiders In Raincoats
My friend has a bizarre fear of spiders in raincoats.
Anorakaphobia.
Floating Dock
What keeps a dock floating above water?
Pier pressure.
Warm Underwear
I love putting on warm underwear fresh out of the dryer.
Plus it’s fun to look around the laundromat and guess who they belong to.
Singing Whales
What do you call a group of whales singing?
An orcastra.
Library Books
I’ll soon be sharing some jokes about library books.
They are long overdue.
Lawyer Underwear
Why did the lawyer show up to court in his underwear?
He forgot his lawsuit.
Wheat Field Photo
Why is it so hard to take a good photo of a wheat field?
The image is always grainy.
Faulty Watch
My wife’s watch has stopped working but I haven’t told her yet.
It’s never the right time.
Which horror novel is subtitled ‘Or the Modern Prometheus’?
Show answer
Frankenstein.
Fastest Cake
What’s the world’s fastest cake?
Scooone…
Dentists
Be nice to dentists.
They have fillings too.
Earth
What did Earth say to the other planets?
Wow, you guys have no life.
Tennis Racket
Never play tennis with a cymbal.
It makes a terrible racket.
Belly Dancing
I just quit belly dancing.
I no longer have the stomach for it.
Used Chess Set
Where is the best place to sell a used chess set?
At a pawn shop.
Sleeping Mask
I’ve lost my sleeping mask.
I’m not going to rest until I find it.
U2 Karaoke
I did karaoke at a bar that had U2 songs with no guitar track.
It took the edge off them.
Washing Machine
A friend of mine invented a washing machine for bank notes.
It’s a real money spinner.
Graph Labels
I remember when my math teacher taught me how to label graphs.
Legend.
Ancient History Lecturers
Why are ancient history lecturers so boring?
They always tend to Babylon.
Voilin Buyer
I was buying a violin in the music shop and they asked if I wanted a bow.
I said it didn’t need to be wrapped.
Tupperware Inventor
The funeral of the Tupperware inventor has been postponed.
They are trying to find the right lid to fit his coffin.
Not Voice Activated
My car is not voice activated.
It goes without saying.
Shoe Factory
Did you hear about the shoe factory that burned down?
So many lost soles.
Dog Biscuits
What are dog biscuits made out of?
Collie flour.
Bankrupt Lion Tamer
My brother was a lion tamer. When he went bankrupt they took almost everything.
But at least he still has his pride.
Christmas Visitor
What is orange and fizzy and comes down the chimney at Christmas?
Fanta Claus.
Straight-Jacket
I regret buying that straight-jacket now.
I thought it would look good on me but I just couldn’t pull it off.
Best Drink
Coffee was just voted the best drink in the nation.
But it was unfair, there were absent tea ballots.
Fajita Restaurant
My local fajita restaurant makes great food, but they won’t share the recipe with me.
They keep it under wraps.
Christmas Pottery
I wrapped some Christmas decorations around my pottery class creation.
I was told it wasn’t great but it had pot tinsel.
Undug Coal
Do you know what they call the coal that was never dug up?
Never mind…
Eminem Fan
I told my wife I like Eminem and she told me she prefers Skittles. I told her I meant the rapper.
She asked me why I would eat the wrapper.
