Here at LaffGaff, we publish a brand new funny joke of the day each and every day of the year.
So make sure you keep coming back for your daily laughs!
Here's all our daily jokes (they're ideal for celebrating International Joke Day, which is on July 1st):
Today I learned that the Pentagon was supposed to be the Octagon.
But the contractor kept cutting corners.
I bought a guitar the other day but it doesn’t work.
Guess I should’ve known when the seller said no strings attached.
I opened a shop selling used artificial limbs.
I called it the second hand second hand store.
A retired boxer goes to see his doctor because he’s having trouble sleeping.
“Have you tried counting sheep?” the doctor asks.
“I tried,” the boxer explains, “but every time I get to the number nine I stand up.”
Just got the perfect tool for making a good Indian flat bread.
It’s a naan stick pan.
My wife said she saw a bowtie made from solid mahogany.
She said she nearly bought it for me but she didn’t think I would wear it.
I replied “Wooden tie?”
I don’t know why everyone is saying Cats (the movie) was bad.
They played it on my flight home and there were only two walkouts.
My first time using an elevator was an uplifting experience. The second time let me down.
My wife gave me an ultimatum.
It was either her or my addiction to sweets.
The decision was as easy as pie.
Relationships are a lot like algebra.
Have you ever looked at your X and wondered Y?
My landlord says he needs to come talk to me about how high my heating bill is.
I told him, “My door is always open.”
It’s really hard to say what my wife does for a living.
She sells sea shells on the sea shore.
Doctor: Your brain fell out after your accident, but we managed to put it back in.
Me: Thanks for reminding me.
It’s very rare that a defibrillator fails. But when it does, no one is shocked.
Why would a pig dressed in black never get bullied?
Because Batman has sworn to protect goth ham.
My son Luke loves that we chose Star Wars characters as inspiration when naming my kids.
However, his sister Chewbacca is less amused.
I was walking past a building site when the guy hammering the roof called me a “paranoid little weirdo”.
In Morse code.
I thought my dad spent all his savings on an expensive wig.
But one look and I realised it was a small price toupee.
What do you give a dog that has a high temperature?
Mustard, it’s the best thing for a hot dog.
After my son’s team won the soccer game, the goalkeeper invited us to his house for a party.
It was the father, the son, and the goalie host.
What’s the difference between Spanish and dad jokes?
With Spanish you roll your Rs and with dad jokes you roll your eyes.
My wife is so negative.
I remembered the car seat, the stroller, AND the diaper bag.
Yet all she can talk about is how I forgot the baby.
