Funny Short Jokes

If we had to choose a favorite type of joke here at LaffGaff, it’d probably be funny short jokes. Maybe it’s just down to our lack of patience (or the modern malaise of wanting everything now), but for us you just can’t beat a clever yet quick short joke.

Anyway, check out our complete collection of short jokes below and see what you think. And remember we publish a new joke every day, so be sure to come back regularly for all the latest laughs.

A selection of really funny short jokes for those who like quick humor

Best Funny Short Jokes

James Bond earthquake joke from LaffGaff.

James Bond slept through an earthquake.

He was shaken, not stirred.

Bikini documentary joke from LaffGaff.

Did you hear about the new bikini documentary?

It’s a two part series that’s quite revealing.

Favorite teacher joke from LaffGaff.

My favorite teacher at school was Mrs Turtle.

Strange name, but she tortoise well.

Chiropractor Monthly joke from LaffGaff.

Anyone want my old copies of Chiropractor Monthly?

I have got loads of back issues.

Bathroom mirror joke from LaffGaff.

My wife asked me, “Did you fog up the bathroom mirror again?”

I said, “I don’t see myself doing that.”

Fire hydrant joke from LaffGaff.

If H2O is on the inside of a fire hydrant, what’s on the outside?


Shoe store joke from LaffGaff.

A man with 2 left feet goes into a shoe store and asks …

“Do you sell flip flips?”

Old tires joke from LaffGaff.

When I was a child we used to roll down hills in old tires.

Those were the good years.

Expensive Teslas joke from LaffGaff.

I figured out why Teslas are so expensive.

It’s because they charge a lot.

Pretty joke from LaffGaff.

I got called pretty today.

Well, actually, the full statement was “You’re pretty annoying”, but I only focus on positive things.

Wishful tree joke from LaffGaff.

Which tree wishes things were more like they used to be?


Not wearing glasses joke from LaffGaff.

I’m not wearing glasses anymore.

I’ve seen enough.

Hot or cold joke from LaffGaff.

Which is faster, hot or cold?

Hot, because you can catch a cold.

Shakespeare's pencil joke from LaffGaff.

I have a pencil that used to belong to William Shakespeare. He chewed it a lot.

Now, I can’t tell if it’s 2B or not 2B.

Headstone type joke from LaffGaff,

What do you call a typo on a headstone?

A grave mistake.

Vegetable thief joke from LaffGaff.

Why did the vegetable thief wet his pants?

Because he took a leek.

Not heavy lamp joke from LaffGaff.

Why was the lamp not heavy?

Because it’s light.

Phone sneezer joke from LaffGaff.

Someone just called my phone, sneezed and then just hung up.

I am getting sick and tired of these cold calls.

Blood listening joke from LaffGaff.

Did you know you can actually listen to the blood in your veins?

You just have to listen varicosely.

Learning piano joke from LaffGaff.

After playing guitar for years I thought I could learn to play the piano.

But it’s not an easy instrument to pick up.

Samsung security joke from LaffGaff.

What do you call the security in a Samsung Store?

Guardians of the Galaxy.

Zombie bodybuilder joke from LaffGaff.

Did you hear how the zombie bodybuilder hurt his back?

He was dead lifting.

Computer hackers joke from LaffGaff.

How did the computer hackers get away from the scene of the crime?

I think they just ransomware.

Coat stealing joke from LaffGaff.

How do you steal a coat?

You jacket.

Missing spine joke from LaffGaff.

What do you call a person missing 75%, of their spine?

A quarterback.

Caveman's fart joke from LaffGaff.

What do you call a caveman’s fart?

A blast from the past.

Chimney cost joke from LaffGaff.

How much does a chimney cost?

Nothing – it’s on the house.

Digging joke from LaffGaff.

I dig, you dig, he digs, she digs we dig, they dig.

It’s not a long poem, but it’s deep.

Cactus grower joke from LaffGaff.

I think there’s something wrong with the cactus I’m growing.

But I can’t put my finger on it.

Correction fluid joke from LaffGaff.

I just bought a gallon of correction fluid.

Big mistake.

Throw up joke from LaffGaff.

I throw up whenever I hear a joke.

It’s a gag reflex.

Pulley joke from LaffGaff.

Among all the machines, the pulley is the most egotistical.

It’s always at the centre of a tension.

Blindfold joke from LaffGaff.

I just bought a new blindfold.

I can’t see myself wearing it.

More Funny Jokes

If you enjoyed laughing at these short funny jokes, check out the rest of LaffGaff for lots more funny jokes, including these:

Leave a Comment