Glasses Jokes And Puns

We wouldn’t be so short-sighted as to not bring you these funny glasses jokes and puns! They’re a real spectacle to behold!

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Funny Glasses Jokes

My son asked: “Dad, have you seen my sunglasses?”

I replied: “No son, have you seen my dad glasses?”

Guess who I bumped into on my way to get my glasses fixed?


To the person who stole my glasses.

I will find you, I have contacts.

My earliest childhood memory is visiting the eye doctor and getting my glasses.

Life before that was a blur.

My grandfather turned 90 today, but he still doesn’t need glasses.

He drinks straight from the bottle.

The only thing I have planned for today is to get my new glasses.

Then I’ll see what happens.

I just turned 18 so now I shouldn’t need my glasses anymore.

I’m still waiting for my adult super-vision to kick in.

Just so everybody’s clear…

I’m going to put my glasses on.

People say I look better without glasses.

But I just can’t see it.

What do you call glasses for your balls?


Why do programmers wear glasses?

Because they can’t C#.

My girlfriend asked if I liked her new glasses.

“It’s quite a spectacle.”

I asked my son what he wants me to get him for Christmas…

He said, “Google Glasses!”

I said, “OK, and I already know what glasses are!”

I took my glasses off.

I had seen enough.

Why should you always wear glasses when doing math?

It helps with division.

To save money I made myself a pair of glasses out of 2 old ketchup bottles.

In Heinz-sight I should have just bought a proper pair.

I just discovered my glasses have smudges on them?

I’ve been giving people dirty looks all day.

I told a girl she looks better without her glasses on.

She said I also look better without her glasses on.

Why do you never see a phone wearing glasses?

Because they have contacts.

After returning from the eye doctor, my dad started chugging milk straight from the carton.

When asked why, he said, “The doctor told me I don’t need glasses.”

My girlfriend says she can’t see too well without her glasses.

So I asked her what numbers she could see.

What do you call a potato with glasses?

A spec-tater.

Why don’t they let you wear glasses in football?

Because it’s a contact sport.

This past week I made a couple of bucks selling fake eclipse glasses.

I’m not to worried though, those suckers will never see me again.

How do you know carrots are good for your eyes?

Because you never see rabbits wearing glasses.

More Funny Jokes

If you enjoyed our hilarious jokes and puns about glasses, be sure to take a closer look at the rest of LaffGaff for lots more funny jokes, such as these:

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