laffgaff
Fast Escalator
What do you call a fast escalator?
An escasooner.
James Bond Bath
What do you call James Bond taking a bath?
Bubble 07.
Today’s Special
I sat down for dinner at a restaurant, and the waiter asked me, “Do you want to hear today’s special?”
I said, “Yes please.”
He said, “No problem sir. Today is special.”
Bossy Man
A bossy man goes into a bar.
He orders everyone a round.
Talking Beans
Jack: How’s it going?
Beans: Pretty good.
Jack and the beans talk.
New Apple Product
Apple have announced a new product for wives that helps cope with spontaneous dad jokes throughout their day.
The iRoll.
Password Change
I changed all my passwords to Kenny.
Now all I have are Kenny Loggins.
Not Your Foot
What has five toes but isn’t your foot?
My foot.
Empty Glass
Waiter: I see your glass is empty, would you like another one?
Dad: Why would I want two empty glasses?
Dog’s Dinner
My wife rang me at the pub and said, “If you’re not home in 10 minutes, I’m giving the dinner I cooked you to the dog.”
I was home in 5 minutes.
I’d hate for anything to happen to the dog.
