The character Pussy Galore appears in which Bond film?
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Goldfinger.
Goldfinger.
I went on an online video call and a picture of a can of spam appeared on my screen.
I think it was a zoom meat tin.
Proxima Centauri.
I tried making a candlelit dinner.
I think it would have cooked quicker in the oven.
Bicycle.
I got in to trouble when I was in the army when they found me with trifles, ice cream and cakes.
They said I was a desserter.
The cheeks.
A friend just gave me a bag of sugar as a gift.
I thought it was very sweet.
T.S. Eliot.
I woke up to find my mustache was missing this morning.
Someone must have stolen it right under my nose.
Gothic.
So you’re telling me that when a baby crawls across the floor for its bottle it’s cute…
But when I do it, I need an intervention?
Uranus.
Keeping tropical fish at home can have a calming effect on the brain…
Due to all the indoor fins.
Thailand.
My wife says I’m the most stubborn and strong-willed person she’s ever met.
But I refuse to accept that.
Did you hear the one about the guy with the broken hearing aid?
Neither did he.
Chicago Bears.
Friend: Can I set up a cloning lab in your basement?
Me: Sure, make yourself at home.
Moses.
One of the animals in the local zoo is pregnant, but nobody is comfortable talking about it.
It’s the elephant in the womb.
Breaking news: A truck full of pepper mills has crashed on the highway.
The traffic has ground to a halt.
Genovia.
My biggest goal for this year is to buy a Velcro wall.
I plan on sticking to it.
Lapis lazuli.
I’m currently reading a book about a couple of insects who fall in love in an Italian city.
It’s a Rome ants novel.
San Francisco.
I’m writing a book about drinking beer.
I’m currently on my 4th draft.
Cheese.
Your fingers have fingertips but your toes don’t have toetips.
Yet you can tiptoe but not tipfinger.
New Zealand.
Sometimes I like to mess with my husband and hide his stuff where he can’t find it.
Like I put his shoes in the shoe closet, his jacket on the hanger and his keys on the key hook.
El Salvador.
I was alone in the bath.
Imagine my surprise when I felt a tap on my shoulder!
Bilbao.
I’ve never owned a telescope in my life.
But it’s something I’m considering looking into.
Johann Strauss II.
My doctor told me that I’m suffering from insomnia.
I asked, “Is it serious?”
He said, “There’s no cause for any alarm.”
So I just checked my home insurance policy and apparently if my blanket is stolen in the middle of the night, I won’t be covered.
Blackcurrant.
I once dated a woman who was 1/4 Chinese, 1/4 Turkish, 1/4 Danish, and 1/4 Vietnamese.
She was great but I had to break up with her.
Too many red flags.
Schindler’s Ark.
I agreed to drive my wife downtown to see a movie because she said parking would be cheap.
But the parking was a lot.
Cyclops.
The police just came and arrested my dog.
He had unpaid barking tickets.
Emily Brontë.
I have just released my own fragrance.
The people sitting near me on the bus don’t look like they appreciate it, though.
Spaghetti.
I tried dating a nun but she stopped talking to me.
I got holy ghosted.