Which artist designed the logo for Chupa Chups?
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Salvador Dali.
Salvador Dali.
Funny Wireless Bra Joke I just saw an ad for a wireless bra. I gotta be honest, I never even knew they needed to be plugged in.
The New York Times.
I lost my job as a mime.
It must have been something I said.
Tom and Jerry.
I never thought laundry detergent could go bad.
But it seems the Tide has turned.
What did one DNA say to the other DNA?
“Do these genes make me look fat?”
Sri Lanka.
What do you call a dentist who doesnt like tea?
Denis.
The Truman Show.
Etymology.
How do clouds pay their bills?
With a rain check.
The high jump.
The person who handled customer transactions at the Chocolate Bank quit his job.
So the bank hired a Nutella.
J. M. Barrie.
I’m an expert at picking leaves and heating them in water.
It’s my special tea.
Apple.
Why did the mechanic sleep under the car?
He wanted to wake up oily in the morning.
What music do more sophisticated frogs listen to?
Hopera.
The Beach Boys.
My desk fan at work is getting annoying.
He keeps taking photos of it.
A new tennis player goes to the library and asks for books about aces.
“No way”, says the librarian, “You won’t return them”.
Oppenheimer.
Congratulations to my friend who won a local Scrabble tournament.
He’s celebrating with a night on the tiles.
Ticket inspectors.
You’ve got to hand it to them…
Wes Craven.
My rower friend is really annoying.
He’s always sticking his oar in.
The Coen brothers.
The Gospel of Matthew.
I’ve been invited to a hair washing party.
I’ve no excuse not to go.
Hercule Poirot.
My new car has a button for everything. There is even one that says, “rear wiper”.
I’m still afraid to try that one.
The Australian Open, the French Open, Wimbledon and the US Open.
One of my kitchen utensils seems to be playing classical music.
I think it’s the Chopin board.
I bought a new plane the other day.
I was disappointed they wouldn’t let me keep the hangar.
Popeye, the Sailor Man.
I saw a field with only one tree in it.
I thought, “That doesn’t look poplar”.
Lima.