Wireless Bra

Funny Wireless Bra Joke I just saw an ad for a wireless bra. I gotta be honest, I never even knew they needed to be plugged in.

Mime Job

I lost my job as a mime.

It must have been something I said.

Bad Detergent

I never thought laundry detergent could go bad.

But it seems the Tide has turned.

Talking DNA

What did one DNA say to the other DNA?

“Do these genes make me look fat?”

Tea Dislike

What do you call a dentist who doesnt like tea?

Denis.

Cloud Bills

How do clouds pay their bills?

With a rain check.

Chocolate Bank

The person who handled customer transactions at the Chocolate Bank quit his job.

So the bank hired a Nutella.

Leaf Expert

I’m an expert at picking leaves and heating them in water.

It’s my special tea.

Sleeping Mechanic

Why did the mechanic sleep under the car?

He wanted to wake up oily in the morning.

Desk Fan

My desk fan at work is getting annoying.

He keeps taking photos of it.

New Tennis Player

A new tennis player goes to the library and asks for books about aces.

“No way”, says the librarian, “You won’t return them”.

Scrabble Winner

Congratulations to my friend who won a local Scrabble tournament.

He’s celebrating with a night on the tiles.

Rower Friend

My rower friend is really annoying.

He’s always sticking his oar in.

Hair Washing Party

I’ve been invited to a hair washing party.

I’ve no excuse not to go.

Rear Wiper

My new car has a button for everything. There is even one that says, “rear wiper”.

I’m still afraid to try that one.

Musical Utensil

One of my kitchen utensils seems to be playing classical music.

I think it’s the Chopin board.

New Plane

I bought a new plane the other day.

I was disappointed they wouldn’t let me keep the hangar.

One Tree

I saw a field with only one tree in it.

I thought, “That doesn’t look poplar”.