Building Site
I was walking past a building site when the guy hammering the roof called me a “paranoid little weirdo”.
In Morse code.
High Temperature Dog
What do you give a dog that has a high temperature?
Mustard, it’s the best thing for a hot dog.
After Match Party
After my son’s team won the soccer game, the goalkeeper invited us to his house for a party.
It was the father, the son, and the goalie host.
Spanish Jokes
What’s the difference between Spanish and dad jokes?
With Spanish you roll your Rs and with dad jokes you roll your eyes.
Negative Wife Joke
My wife is so negative.
I remembered the car seat, the stroller, AND the diaper bag.
Yet all she can talk about is how I forgot the baby.
Strange Dog Breed
What do you get when you cross a cocker spaniel, a poodle, and a ghost?
A cocker poodle boo.
Toxic Media
Cockroaches can survive a nuclear holocaust but can’t survive a slap from a newspaper.
That shows how toxic the media is.
Ambulance Riders
How many people can ride in an ambulance?
Just paramedics and someone else if they’re patient enough.
Largest Bounce House
The world’s largest bounce house is now touring the US. At 10,000 square feet it’s large enough to live in.
The rent is pretty expensive but that’s mostly due to inflation.
