My wife and I were having this huge argument as to whose turn it was to do laundry.
Finally, I threw in the towel.
laffgaff
Electrical Cords
My son kept chewing on electrical cords so I had to ground him.
He’s doing better currently and conducting himself properly.
Cockroaches
Yesterday my wife thought she saw a cockroach in the kitchen, so she sprayed everything down and cleaned thoroughly.
Today I’m putting a cockroach in the bathroom.
Mad Wife
I hate when my wife gets mad at me for being lazy.
It’s not like I did anything.
Egotistical Machine
Among all the machines, the pulley is the most egotistical.
It’s always at the centre of a tension.
Twister Position
What is a highlighter’s favorite Twister position?
Knee on yellow.
Three Letter Word
What has three letters and starts with gas?
A car.
Some Pets
I asked my dad, “Can we get some pets?”
He said, “No, pets are just a step backwards.”
Favorite News
What is an electrician’s favorite type of news?
Current events.
Ugly Dog Contest
I entered my Chihuahua in an “ugliest dog” contest and I won first place!
The dog came third.
Revolving Chair
My wife hated my impulse purchase of a revolving chair, but then she sat on it.
She soon came around.
Bad Parkers
Why are women so bad at parking cars?
Because for the last 200 years they’ve been told that three inches are actually six.
