Who escaped from exile on the Mediterranean island of Elba in 1815?
Show answer
Napoleon Bonaparte.
LaffGaff Archives
The 16th Amendment to the US constitution legalized what form of tax?
Show answer
Income tax.
Gold Miners
Why do gold miners support ghosts?
Because they are pro-spectres.
Which celebration’s name literally means ‘Fat Tuesday’ in French?
Show answer
Mardi Gras.
Cloud Phone
Never use a cloud-based phone.
You’ll end up with mist calls.
Who was the Greek god of dreams?
Show answer
Morpheus.
Spider Lessons
What kind of classes do spiders attend?
Webinars.
Hibernation Poses
What sort of creature hibernates in odd poses?
A yoga bear.
Who replaced Eric Clapton in The Yardbirds when he left?
Show answer
Jeff Beck.
How is British actor Maurice Micklewhite better known?
Show answer
Michael Caine.
Alarm Clock
I used to have a friend who kept changing the sound his alarm clock made.
I wonder what he’s getting up to now.
Chivalry Not Dead
I bought my girlfriend a coffee by walking 8 blocks in -20° weather wearing just a t-shirt, all to prove a point.
It started when she claimed shiverry was dead.
Who wrote the novel The Great Gatsby?
Show answer
F. Scott Fitzgerald.
Ice Cream Truck Accident
An ice cream truck has had an accident near me.
The area has been coned off.
Notebook
What kind of notebook does a dendrochronologist use?
A tree-ring binder.
Who composed the opera Madame Butterfly?
Show answer
Giacomo Puccini.
Dairy Farm
I’m in search for someone to assist with milking cows on my dairy farm.
Must work well with udders.
Who played the title role in the 1978 movie ‘Superman’?
Show answer
Christopher Reeve.
Animal Sunglasses
What sort of animal wears sunglasses?
A solar bear.
What is the smallest country in South America both in terms of area and population?
Show answer
Suriname.
Wasp Identification
A friend of mine failed his Wasp Identification Exam recently.
He got a bee.
What is the only country in the world with a flag with 5 sides?
Show answer
Nepal.
Rainy Day
My tax advisor told me to put something away for a rainy day.
I’ve bought an umbrella.
‘Sempre Libera’ is an aria from which opera?
Show answer
La Traviata.
Sword Swallower
I saw the sword swallower from the circus in a shop buying some pins.
Apparently he’s on a diet.
Which Pope announced their resignation in 2013?
Show answer
Benedict XVI.
Wireless Bra
I just saw an ad for a wireless bra.
I gotta be honest, I never even knew they needed to be plugged in.
Which artist designed the logo for Chupa Chups?
Show answer
Salvador Dali.
Mime Job
I lost my job as a mime.
It must have been something I said.
‘All the News That’s Fit to Print’ is the slogan of which newspaper?
Show answer
The New York Times.
What duo first appeared in the 1940 cartoon ‘Puss Gets the Boot’?
Show answer
Tom and Jerry.
Bad Detergent
I never thought laundry detergent could go bad.
But it seems the Tide has turned.
Which country was formerly known as Ceylon?
Show answer
Sri Lanka.
Talking DNA
What did one DNA say to the other DNA?
“Do these genes make me look fat?”
Tea Dislike
What do you call a dentist who doesnt like tea?
Denis.
Which Jim Carrey movie had the tagline ‘On the air. Unaware’?
Show answer
The Truman Show.
What is the name given to the study of the origin of words?
Show answer
Etymology.
Cloud Bills
How do clouds pay their bills?
With a rain check.
In what athletics event might you use a ‘Fosbury Flop’?
Show answer
The high jump.