Some jokes are just so stupid that they’re funny. Kids in particular seem to enjoy stupid jokes, possibly because they’re easier to remember. So maybe it is because we at LaffGaff are still big kids at heart that we love them too!
Whatever the reason, we can’t get enough of them and so we have gathered together a collection of our favorite funny stupid jokes for kids (and adults too!). Enjoy!
Best Stupid Jokes
Why does Waldo wear stripes?
Because he doesn’t want to be spotted.
I used to have a dog that did magic tricks.
It was a labracadabrador!
Did you hear about the two guys who stole a calendar?
They each got six months.
Cleaning mirrors is a job…
I could really see myself doing.
Two fish are in a tank.
One says to the other, “Do you know how to drive this thing?”
What color is a burp?
Why do you never see elephants hiding in trees?
Because they are really good at it.
I spent five minutes fixing a broken clock yesterday.
At least, I think it was five minutes…
I’ve had a fan installed inside my head.
It’s blown my mind.
If you take your watch to be fixed, make sure you don’t pay up front.
Wait until the time is right.
What’s orange and sounds like a parrot?
What does a spy do when he gets cold?
He goes undercover.
Thieves broke into the police station last night and stole all the toilets.
A police spokesman said the police have nothing to go on.
I once made a belt out of clocks.
It was a waist of time.
What do you call a snake wearing a hard hat?
A boa constructor.
How do cartoonists decide who’s the best?
They draw lots.
Last weekend I shot an elephant in my pyjamas.
How he got in my pyjamas I’ll never know.
What kind of lights did Noah have on the Ark?
Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom?
Because the “P” is silent.
What did one snowman say to the other?
Can you smell carrots?
What is brown and sticky?
My friend has borrowed my grandfather clock.
He owes me big time.
Learning how to collect trash wasn’t hard.
I just picked it up as I went along.
I tried to catch some fog.
How do you stop moles digging in your garden?
Hide their spades.
Two fish swim into a wall.
One says, “Dam!”
What’s red and bad for your teeth?
Where do you find giant snails?
On the ends of giants’ fingers.
Someone found a hole in the wall surrounding the nudist camp.
Police say they are looking into it.
What’s blue and smells like red paint?
I had to give up my job as a baker…
Because I didn’t make enough dough.
What did Obi-Wan say to Luke when he was having trouble eating at a Chinese restaurant?
“Use the fork, Luke.”
Thieves broke into the local dogs’ home and stole all the dogs.
Police say they have no leads.
Those new corduroy pillows…
Are really making headlines!
Getting paid to sleep…
Would be my dream job.
My fear of moving stairs…
What did the green grape say to the purple grape?
“Breathe, you idiot, breathe!”
What do you call a retired vegetable?
I’d tell you my construction joke…
But I’m still working on it.
Why can’t a bicycle stand up by itself?
Because it’s two-tyred.
How did the beaver get online?
They logged on.
Why did the one-handed man cross the road?
To get to the second hand shop.