Funny Yo Mama Jokes

Collections of the best and funniest clean Yo Mama jokes for kids and adults alike. Yo Mama jokes (also known variously as Yo Mamma, Yo Moma and Yo Momma jokes) are, to quote Wikipedia:

used to insult the target by way of their mother. Used as an insult, “yo mama jokes” prey on widespread sentiments of filial piety, making the insult particularly and globally offensive.

Below are our favorite clean examples of these insults, so you’ll never be short of a funny comeback again, especially if someone insults your mom!

A selection of funny yo momma / yo mama jokes

Best Yo Momma Jokes

Yo mama’s cooking so bad, the homeless give it back.

Every Yo Momma joke has been done thousands of times, by thousands of people. Kinda like yo momma.

Yo momma is so stupid when an intruder broke into her house, she ran downstairs, dialed 9-1-1 on the microwave, and couldn’t find the “CALL” button.

Yo mama’s so crazy, whenever she runs she takes a psycho-path.

Yo mama so fat, when she go camping, the bears have to put their food in a tree.

Yo mama’s so fat, when she skips a meal, the stock market drops.

Yo momma is so fat when she sat on WalMart, she lowered the prices.

Yo mama’s so stupid, when they said, “Order in the court,” she asked for fries and a shake.

Your mama so fat she on both sides the family.

Yo momma’s so fat and old when God said, “Let there be light,” he asked your mother to move out of the way.

Yo mama’s so ugly, she threw a boomerang and it refused to come back.

Yo mama’s so poor, Nigerian princes wire her money.

Yo mama’s so fat, if she buys a fur coat, a whole species will become extinct.

Yo mama’s so classless, she’s a Marxist utopia.

Yo mama’s so fat, when she wears high heels, she strikes oil.

Yo mama’s so stupid when thieves broke into her house and stole the TV, she chased after them shouting “Wait, you forgot the remote!”

Yo mama’s so depressing, blues singers come to visit her when they’ve got writer’s block.

Yo mama’s so fat, she was overthrown by a small militia group, and now she’s known as the Republic of Yo Mama.

Yo momma so fat, she jumped in the pool and they found water on Mars.

Yo mama’s so fat, her wedding music was the Jurassic Park theme.

Yo mama so fat when I climbed on top of her my ears popped.

Yo momma so fat, her blood type is gravy.

More Funny Yo Mama Jokes

Yo Mama So Fat …

A collection of the best Yo Mama So Fat jokes.

Yo mama so fat her belly button gets home 15 mins before she does.

Yo momma so fat her idea of dieting is deleting the cookies from her internet cache.

Yo mama so fat her neck looks like a pair of hot dogs.

Yo mama so fat her shadow weighs 35 pounds.

Yo momma so fat I can stand on her belly and high five God.

Yo momma so fat I had to take a train and two buses just to get on the her good side.

Yo mamma so fat I told her to haul ass and she had to make two trips.

Yo momma so fat I took a picture of her at Christmas and it’s still printing.

Your mama so fat I tried to hang a picture of her on my wall, and my wall fell over.

Yo mama so fat if she got her shoes shined, she’d have to take his word for it.

Yo momma so fat Mount Everest tried to climb her.

Yo mama so fat she can’t even jump to a conclusion.

Yo momma so fat she can’t fit in any timeline.

Yo momma so fat she can’t fit in this joke.

Yo mamma so fat she doesn’t skinny dip, she chunky dunks.

Yo mamma so fat she fell in love and broke it.

Yo momma so fat she gets clothes in three sizes: extra large, jumbo, and oh-my-god-it’s-coming-towards-us!

Yo mama so fat she goes to KFC and licks other peoples’ fingers.

Yo mama so fat she got arrested at the airport for ten pounds of crack.

Yo mama so fat she had to go to Sea World to get baptized.

Yo mama so fat she has a sock for each toe.

Yo momma so fat she has her own ozone layer.

Yo mama so fat she has her own zip code.

Yo momma so fat she has more rolls than a bakery.

Yo mama so fat she has to put her belt on with a boomerang.

Yo mama so fat she has to put her boobs in the back seat to drive.

Yo mama so fat she has two watches; one for each time zone she’s in.

Yo momma so fat she hasn’t got cellulite, she’s got celluheavy.

Yo mamma so fat she influences the tides.

Yo momma so fat she jumped off the Grand Canyon and got stuck.

Yo mama so fat she laid on the beach and Greenpeace tried to push her back in the water.

Yo mama so fat she leaves footprints in concrete.

Yo mama so fat she needs a GPS to find her ass hole.

Yo mama so fat she pulls her pants down and her ass is still in them.

Yo mama so fat she puts on a black bathing suit and gets in the ocean, everyone screams “Oil spill!”

Yo mama so fat she puts on her lipstick with a paint-roller.

Yo momma so fat she sat on a quarter and squished a booger out of George Washington’s nose.

Yo momma so fat she sat on the corner and the police came and said, “Break it up!”

Yo mama so fat she shows up on radar.

Yo momma so fat she stood in front of the Hollywood sign and it just said H D.

Yo mama so fat she sued Xbox 360 for guessing her weight.

Yo momma so fat she walked in front of the TV and I missed the whole Titanic movie.

Yo mama so fat she was diagnosed with flesh eating bacteria and the doctors gave her 87 years to live.

Yo mama so fat she’s got a eating disorder. She eat dis order, and dat order, and everybody else’s order too.

Yo mama so fat she’s got more chins than a Honk Kong phone book.

Yo momma so fat she’s got to iron her pants on the driveway.

Yo momma so fat that even Dora couldn’t explore her.

Yo momma so fat that I ran out of gas trying to drive around her.

Yo mama so fat that she doesn’t need the internet; she’s already world wide.

Yo momma so fat that when she bends over, the whole country enters daylight saving.

Yo mama so fat that when she farted she started global warming.

Yo mama so fat the back of her neck looks like a pack of hot-dogs.

Yo mama so fat that when she fell from her bed she fell from both sides.

Yo momma so fat when her beeper goes off, people think she is backing up.

Yo mama so fat when she burped New Orleans thought Katrina had come back to finish the job.

Yo mama so fat when she cuts she bleeds gravy.

Yo momma so fat when she gets on the scale it says “To be continued.”

Yo mama so fat when she goes swimming the whales start singing “We Are Family”.

Yo momma so fat when she goes to a restaurant she doesn’t get a menu, she gets an estimate.

Yo momma so fat when she jumped in the ocean she said “Beat that Moses.”

Yo mama so fat when she stepped on the scale, Buzz Lightyear popped out and said “To infinity and beyond!”

Yo mama so fat when she turns around, people throw her a welcome back party.

Yo mama so fat when she was in school she sat by everybody.

Yo momma so fat when she went to the beach Greenpeace tried to drag her ass back in the water.

Yo mama so fat when she went to the circus the little girl asked if she could ride the elephant.

Yo mama so fat when she’s going on an airplane, she has to pay baggage fees for her ass.

Yo momma so fat when she goes to an All You Can Eat buffet, they have to install speed bumps.

Yo mama so fat whenever she goes to the beach the tide comes in.

Yo momma so fat you could slap her butt and ride the waves.

Yo mama so fat you have to grease the door frame and hold a Twinkie on the other side just to get her through.

Yo Momma So Old …

A page of funny Yo Mama So Old jokes

Yo mama so old I told her to act her age and she died.

Yo mama so old Eve slapped her for making out with Adam.

Yo mama so old God signed her yearbook.

Yo momma so old her birth-certificate expired.

Yo momma so old she watches the History Channel to see if she’s on.

Yo momma so old she was Eve.

Yo mama so old her butt crack sealed.

Yo mama so old she rode dinosaurs to school.

Yo momma so old she sat next to Moses in third grade.

Yo mama so old her memory is in black and white.

Yo momma so old she remembers Fifty Cent when he was a penny.

Your mama so old when she went to the museum, the mummies took selfies with her and said DAYUM!

Yo mama so old Jurassic Park brought back memories.

Yo mama so old she walked out of a museum and the alarm went off.

Yo momma so old she babysat Adam and Eve.

Yo mama so old she farts dust.

Yo mama so old the candles cost more than the birthday cake.

Yo momma so old she knew Burger King while he was still a prince.

Yo momma so old she left her purse on Noah’s Ark.

Yo mama so old she took her driver’s test on a dinosaur.

Yo mama so old her breast milk is powder.

Yo momma so old she was a crossing guard for when Moses parted the red sea.

Yo mama so old she was a waitress at the Last Supper.

Yo mama so old she went to an antique store and they wouldn’t let her leave.

Yo momma so old she’s got hieroglyphics on her driver’s license.

Yo mama so old she went to an antique auction and three people bid on her.

Yo momma so old that she knew Gandalf before he had a beard.

Yo mama so old that when i took a picture of her it came out black and white.

Yo mama so old when I asked her age, she said, “I can’t count that high.”

Yo momma so old that when she was in school there was no history class.

Yo mama so old the back of her head looks like a raisin.

Yo mama so old they moved her out of the retirement home and in to the museum.

Yo mama so old when God said “Let there be light”, she turned on the switch.

Yo mama so old when she was born, the Dead Sea was just getting sick.

Yo momma so old she owes Jesus a quarter.

Yo Mama So Poor …

A selection of funny Yo Mama So Poor jokes

Yo mama so poor a tornado hit your house and did 10,000 dollars worth of improvement.

Yo mama so poor burglars break in her house and leave money.

Yo mama so poor children from Africa send her money.

Yo momma so poor ducks throw bread at her.

Yo momma so poor her address is This Side Up.

Yo mama so poor her doormat doesn’t say, “Welcome”, it says, “Welfare.”

Yo mama so poor her face is on the front of the food stamp card.

Yo mama so poor her front door and back door are the same thing.

Yo momma so poor her T.V. only has two channels: ON and OFF.

Your mama so poor I asked her if I could use the bathroom and she said “Just pick a corner.”

Yo momma so poor I saw her banging on a trash can and when I asked her what she was doing, she said her kids locked her out.

Yo mama so poor I saw her running after a garbage truck with a shopping list.

Yo momma so poor I saw her walking down the street I asked her if she lost a shoe and she said no she just found one.

Yo mama so poor I swatted a firefly and she said, “Who turned off the light?”

Yo mama so poor I went through her front door and ended up in the back yard.

Yo mama so poor she can’t afford a free sample.

Yo momma so poor she can’t afford to pay attention.

Yo mama so poor she can’t even put her two cents in this conversation.

Yo momma so poor she couldn’t afford a condom and gave birth to you.

Yo momma so poor she’s got more furniture on her porch than in her house.

Yo momma so poor she has to hang her toilet paper out to dry.

Yo mama so poor she married young just to get the rice.

Yo momma so poor she took out a 2nd mortgage on her cardboard box.

Yo mama so poor she washes paper plates.

Yo mama so poor the birds throw bread at her.

Yo mama so poor the only time she gets a shower is when it rains.

Yo momma so poor when I saw her kicking a can down the street, I asked her what she was doing, she said “Moving.”

Yo mama so poor when I went over to her house for dinner and grabbed a paper plate, she said “Don’t use the good china!”

Yo mama so poor when she gets mad she can’t afford to fly off the handle so she has to Greyhound off the handle.

Yo mama so poor when she goes to KFC, she has to lick other people’s fingers.

Yo mama so poor your family ate cereal with a fork to save milk.

Yo Mama So Short …

A collection of the best Yo Mama So Short jokes

Yo mama so small her best friend is an ant.

Yo momma so short she has to hold a sign up that says, “Don’t spit, I can’t swim”.

Yo mama so small she committed suicide by jumping off the curb.

Yo mama so small you can see her feet on her driver’s license.

Yo momma so short she does back flips under the bed.

Yo mama so small she gotta slam-dunk her bus fare.

Yo mama so small even when she smokes weed she can’t get high.

Yo momma so short she doesn’t have to open the door to get in the house.

Yo mama so small she can hang glide on a Dorito.

Your mama so small she doesn’t roll dice, she pushes them.

Yo mama so small she drives a toy car.

Yo momma so short when she sneezes she hits her head on the floor.

Yo mama so small she has to cuff her underwear.

Yo mama so small she has to use a ladder to pick up a dime.

Yo momma so short she needs a stool to pick her nose.

Yo momma so short she does pull-ups on a staple.

Yo mama so small she has to wear a torn napkin as a dress.

Yo mama so small she can sit on a penny and swing her legs.

Yo momma so short she ties her shoelaces while standing up.

Yo mama so small she uses a sock for a sleeping bag.

Yo mama so small she takes a shower in a rain drop.

Yo momma so short she uses a toothpick as a pool cue.

Yo mama so small she plays soccer with atoms.

Yo mama so small she’s a teller at a piggy bank.

Yo mama so small she’s Mini-Me’s Mini-Me.

Yo momma so short when it rains, she’s always the last to know.

Yo mama so small her head smells like feet.

Yo mama so small she can do limbo under the door.

Yo mama so small she got ran over by a Hot Wheel.

Your mama so small she poses for trophies.

Yo Mama So Stupid …

A stupidly funny collection of yo mama so stupid jokes

Yo mama so stupid I told her Christmas was around the corner and she went looking for it.

Yo momma so stupid she got fired from the M&M factory for throwing away all the Ws.

Yo mama so stupid she gave birth to you.

Yo momma so stupid if she spoke her mind she’d probably be speechless.

Yo mama so stupid if you gave her a penny for her thoughts, you’d get change.

Yo momma so stupid it took her 2 hours to watch 60 minutes.

Yo mama so stupid she bought tickets to Xbox Live.

Yo mama so stupid she brought a ladder to go to high school.

Yo momma so stupid she cut holes in her umbrella to see if it was raining.

Yo mama so stupid she disses her kids with Yo Mama jokes.

Yo mama so stupid she got hit by a cup and told the police she got mugged.

Your mama so stupid when I said drinks were on the house, she went and got a ladder.

Yo mama so stupid she put a watch in the piggy bank and said she was saving time.

Yo momma so stupid when she threw a grenade at me, I pulled the pin and threw it back.

Yo momma so stupid she returned a jigsaw puzzle because it was broken.

Yo mama so stupid she sold her car for gasoline money.

Yo mama so stupid she got hit by a parked car.

Yo mama so stupid she stared at an orange juice carton for 20 minutes, because it said ‘Concentrate’.

Yo momma so stupid she stays up all night trying to catch some sleep.

Yo mama so stupid she put a quarter in a parking meter and waited for a gumball to come out.

Yo momma so stupid she stood on a chair to raise her IQ.

Yo mama so stupid she got locked in Mattress World and slept on the floor.

Yo mama so stupid she sat on the TV and watched the couch.

Your momma so stupid she thought the Harlem Shake was a drink.

Yo mama so stupid she stuck a phone up her ass to make a booty call.

Yo mama so stupid she studied for a blood test – and failed.

Yo momma so stupid she put two quarters in her ears and thought she was listening to 50 Cent.

Yo mama so stupid she thinks Taco Bell is a Mexican phone company.

Yo momma so stupid she thought a light saber had less calories.

Yo mama so stupid she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept.

Yo mama so stupid she went to the beach to surf the internet.

Yo mama so stupid she thought a quarterback was an income tax refund.

Yo momma so stupid she went to the dentist to get her Bluetooth fixed.

Yo mama so stupid she threw a rock at the ground and missed.

Yo mama so stupid she puts lipstick on her head just to make-up her mind.

Yo mama so stupid when she heard that 90% of all crimes occur around the home, she moved.

Yo mama so stupid she thought The Exorcist was a workout video.

Your mama so stupid she put two M&Ms in her ears and though she was listening to Eminem.

Yo mama so stupid she stopped at a Stop sign and waited all day for it to say Go.

Yo mama so stupid when I asked her to buy a color TV, she said, “What color?”

Yo Mama So Ugly…

A great collection of funny Yo Mama So Ugly jokes.

Yo mama so ugly even Hello Kitty said goodbye.

Yo mama so ugly her memory foam mattress wishes it could forget.

Yo mama so ugly she gave Freddy Kruger nightmares.

Yo momma so ugly she had to get you drunk before she could breastfeed you.

Yo mama so ugly she turned three cannibals into vegetarians.

Yo mama so ugly when she picked up a toddler, the zookeepers shot her.

Yo mama so ugly she had to trick or treat over the phone.

Yo momma so ugly she made a Happy Meal cry.

Yo mama so ugly the last time I saw anything like her face, I pinned the tail on it.

Your momma so ugly the dog closes his eyes when he humps her leg.

Yo mama so ugly she went into a haunted house with tickets and came out with a job.

Yo mama so ugly her portraits hang themselves.

Yo mama so ugly her mama put rubber bands on her ears so that people would think that she was only wearing a mask.

Yo momma so ugly when she entered an ugly contest, they said, “Sorry, we don’t allow professionals.”

Yo momma so ugly she made One Direction go another direction.

Yo mama so ugly she made onions cry.

Yo mama so ugly when she went to the bathroom, she scared the crap out of the toilet.

Yo mama so ugly her nickname is “Damn!”

Yo momma so ugly they changed Halloween to YoMamaween.

Yo mama so ugly when she walks into a bank they turn off the security cameras.

Yo mama so ugly she went to the salon and it took 3 hours just to get an estimate.

Yo mama so ugly that even Scooby Doo couldn’t solve that mystery.

Yo momma so ugly if ugly were bricks, she would be her own project.

Your mama so ugly she gotta wear a disguise on garbage day.

Yo momma so ugly her reflection said, “I quit.”

Yo mama so ugly her birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory.

Yo momma so ugly Satan died of fright.

Yo mama so ugly she practices birth control by leaving the lights on.

Yo momma so ugly she’s the reason E.T. went home.

Yo mama so ugly she made Stevie Wonder flinch.

Yo mama so ugly I put her face on a carton of milk and it spoiled.

Yo mama so ugly that when she tried to become a model they said, “The hospital’s that way.”

Yo momma so ugly she makes blind kids cry.

Yo momma so ugly she turned Medusa to stone.

Yo mama so ugly that when you play hide and seek with her, you’re always the one that hides.

Yo mama so ugly even her shadow ran away from her.

Yo momma so ugly she made your Dad gay.

Yo mama so ugly not even goldfish will smile back.

Yo mama so ugly most Snapchat filters make her better looking.

Yo mama so ugly every time she walks by the toilet it flushes.

Yo mama so ugly she scares blind kids away.

More Fun And Laughter

If you enjoyed these funny Yo Momma jokes, be sure to check out the rest of LaffGaff for lots more fun and laughter. We have a huge selection of funny jokestrivia questions and answersfunny quotesquizzesbrainteasers and riddles, fun facts and pick up lines, so there’s something for everyone!