40 Savagely Funny Burn Jokes

We just can’t get enough of good burn jokes. If you’ve been paying attention, you’ll know that as we’ve already published our collections of the best comebacks to insults and funniest insults. And so, with that in mind, here’s another collection of the latest and best burn jokes.

A selection of the best funny burn jokes

Best Burn Jokes

  1. You’d need twice the brains to qualify as a half-wit.
  2. You have the face of a saint. A Saint Bernard, that is.
  3. What you lack in intelligence, you more than make up for in stupidity.
  4. You’re listed in Who’s Who as What’s That.
  5. God wasted a good asshole when he put teeth in your mouth.
  6. I couldn’t stop thinking about you all day today. I was at the zoo.
  7. Are you always so stupid or is today a special occasion?
  8. You need to shut your mouth ’cause all your stupidity is leaking out.
  9. Have you been shopping lately? They’re selling lives – you should go get yourself one.
  10. You’re so ugly you’d scare the crap out of the toilet.
  11. I heard you were born on a farm. Any more in the litter?
  12. Everyone has the right to be stupid, but you’re just abusing the privilege.
  13. I wouldn’t pee in your ear if your brain was on fire.
  14. If I had a face like yours, I’d teach my ass to talk.
  15. Don’t feel bad. A lot of people have no talent.
  16. I couldn’t warm to you if you were on fire.
  17. Just let people think you’re an idiot. If you say anything, you’ll just prove them right.
  18. As an outsider, what do you think of the human race?
  19. You don’t need some beauty sleep, you need to hibernate.
  20. People like you don’t grow on trees. They swing from them.
  21. I sure hope there’s a lifeguard in your gene pool.
  22. Go ahead and tell me everything you know. I’ve got a spare ten seconds.
  23. Every time I think of all the people that haven’t met you, I get jealous.
  24. You’re so far up your own ass you can lick your tonsils.
  25. Some people bring joy wherever they go. You bring joy whenever you go.
  26. You’ve got a face that could turn fresh milk sour.
  27. Stop thinking everyone’s your equal. That’s offensive to a lot of people.
  28. A lot of people live and learn. You just live.
  29. You remind me of myself. Back when I was young and stupid.
  30. You’ve got a face like a bag of elbows.
  31. I don’t want you to turn the other cheek – it’s just as ugly.
  32. What drugs are you on, stupid pills?
  33. Let’s go to the zoo. I’ve always wanted to meet your family.
  34. A half-wit gave you a piece of his mind, and you held on to it.
  35. Last time I saw something like you, I flushed it.
  36. It’s too bad stupidity isn’t painful.
  37. You’re as strong as an ox. Just not as intelligent.
  38. Come again when you can’t stay as long.
  39. People like you are the reason God doesn’t talk to us anymore.
  40. You’re kind of like Rapunzel but instead of letting your hair down, you let everyone down in your life.

Savagely Funny Burn Jokes

If you enjoyed this collection of the best burn jokes, check out our other collections of funny jokes, including our funny insults and good comebacks as well as these:

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