Fire Jokes & Puns

These funny fire jokes and puns are so hot! We had a burning desire to bring them to you because we knew how your face would light up!

Header image for a page of funny fire jokes and puns.

Funny Fire Jokes

A police officer says to a couple, “I’m sorry to tell you this, but your son set the school on fire”.

They ask, “Was it arson?”

The officer answers, “Yes, your son.”

I saw a woman at the gas station pumping gas and trying to light a cigarette.

I went inside to pay and saw two policemen in the store.

I said, “Did you guys see that woman out there?”

They looked outside and suddenly darted out the door.

I turned and saw she caught her arm on fire.

The policemen threw a blanket around her and wrestled her to the ground and put out the fire. Then they gave her a ticket!

After they came inside I asked why they gave her a ticket.

Turns out she didn’t have a license for that firearm.

It is so weird to see signs that say, “In case of fire, don’t use elevator”.

Everyone knows water is better to put on fires than an elevator.

So we all know that you find H2O inside a fire hydrant, but what do you find on the outside of a fire hydrant?

K9P.

What kind of fire leaves a room damp?

A humidifire.

My son and I went camping yesterday and he asked me how to start a campfire.

I explained, “You can start a fire by rubbing two sticks together, but make sure they’re the same. Then you’ll have a match.”

Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft.

Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can’t have your kayak and heat it too.

Apparently nobody knows why Notre Dame Cathedral caught fire…

But Quasimodo has a hunch.

Without a doubt, my favourite Robin Williams movie is Mrs Fire.

A kid lights his house on fire.

Dad: putting arm around his wife, both tearing up That’s arson.

I failed my fire safety course when I was asked what steps I would take in case there was an explosion.

“Really large ones” wasn’t an acceptable answer.

I like how they light the Olympic torch near Athens, then it stays lit all the way to the opening ceremony.

I guess it’s hard to put out a Greece fire.

What do you call a woman who sets fire to all her bills?

Bernadette.

My dad tried to pay for something by singing Ring of Fire.

But they didn’t accept Cash.

Just walked past a sign that read, “This fire door is alarmed”.

So I gave it a little rub and told it everything is going to be ok.

My grandpa always used to say, “Fight fire with fire.”

He was a great man.

Terrible fireman though.

How do you start a holy fire?

With a match made in Heaven.

In breaking news, Trump’s personal library has burned down.

The fire consumed both books and in a tragic twist he hadn’t even finished coloring the second one.

I searched google for “How to start a large fire.”

52,000 matches.

They say you should test your fire alarm once a month…

But it’s costing me a fortune in houses.

There was a fire at the Goodwill yesterday.

A person died of second-hand smoke.

More Funny Jokes

The burning question is did you enjoy our funny jokes and puns about fire? If you did, check out the rest of LaffGaff for lots more hilarious jokes, such as these: