Camping Jokes

To all in tents and purposes, these are the funniest camping jokes and puns around. They really are a site for sore eyes! Enjoy them!

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Funny Camping Jokes And Puns

My wife was surprised to hear that I actually enjoyed her punishment of making me sleeping on the sofa.

I said that it made me feel manly, like I was camping.

With a really angry bear somewhere close by…

My son and I went camping yesterday and he asked me how to start a campfire.

I explained, “You can start a fire by rubbing two sticks together, but make sure they’re the same. Then you’ll have a match.”

I tried to get insurance for my camp site, but the company refused.

They said, “If your tent gets destroyed, you won’t be covered.”

You can’t run through a camp site.

You can only ran, because it’s past tents.

An escaped prisoner was caught camping out in the woods.

It was a clear case of criminal in tent.

My parents sent me to mime camp one summer.

I still can’t talk about it.

I reported to the police that someone had stolen my tent.

They started to canvas the area.

I started a camp for kids with ADHD but nobody showed up.

I guess calling it Concentration Camp was a bad idea.

A hole was found in a nudist camp wall.

The police are now looking into it.

My girlfriend asked me what my favorite extreme hobby was, I replied camping…

Because it’s in tents.

When my Mom found out I had asthma she sent me to a camp for asthmatic children.

It was so much fun singing songs around the humidifire.

I always have nightmares when I go camping.

My dreams are in tents.

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson went on a camping trip.

After a good meal and a bottle of wine, they laid down for the night, and went to sleep. Some hours later, Holmes awoke and nudged his faithful friend.

“Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see.”

Watson replied, “I see millions and millions of stars.”

“What does that tell you?”

Watson pondered for a minute.

“Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies, and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo. Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three. Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful and that we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What does it tell you?”

Holmes was silent for a minute, then spoke.

“It tells me that someone has stolen our tent.”

The guys were all at a deer camp. No one wanted to room with Bob, because he snored so badly.

They decided it wasn’t fair to make one of them stay with him the whole time, so they voted to take turns.

The first guy slept with Bob and comes to breakfast the next morning with his hair a mess and his eyes all bloodshot.

They said, “Man, what happened to you?”

He said, “Bob snored so loudly, I just sat up and watched him all night.”

The next night it was a different guy’s turn. In the morning, same thing, hair all standing up, eyes all bloodshot.

They said, “Man, what happened to you? You look awful!”

He said, “Man, that Bob shakes the roof with his snoring. I watched him all night.”

The third night was Fred’s turn. Fred was a tanned, older cowboy, a man’s man.

The next morning he came to breakfast bright-eyed and bushy-tailed. “Good morning!” he said.

They couldn’t believe it. They said, “Man, what happened?”

He said, “Well, we got ready for bed. I went and tucked Bob into bed, patted him on the butt, and kissed him good night. Bob sat up and watched me all night.”

A man got lost on a camping trip. Rescuers scoured the wilderness until a medical emergency team finally spotted a solitary figure across a wide chasm.

“Charlie Smith,” someone shouted, “is that you?”

“Yes, it is,” came the reply. “Who are you?”

“We’re from the Red Cross.”

“I gave at the office!” Charlie shouted back.

A Czechoslovakian and a Mexican went camping.

While they were in the woods, the Czech got eaten by a bear.

So the Mexican ran to find the park ranger and said, “Park ranger, a bear ate my friend!”

The park ranger and the Mexican returned to the woods and found two bears: a male and a female.

The park ranger asked the Mexican which one of the bear ate his friend. He pointed to the male and the ranger shot him and gutted him. But there were no remains of the Czech man in the bear.

Moral of the story: Never trust a Mexican when he says the Czech is in the male.

Two kids are camping in their backyard, it’s gotten pretty late and neither of them have watches.

“What time do you think it is?” One of them asks the other.

“Just make a ton of noise,” says the other.

The first kid gets confused and decides to do it anyways.

After a few seconds of screaming a light turns on in another yard and a neighbour yells, “YOU CRAZY KIDS, IT’S 2 IN THE MORNING!!”

What do you call it when Al Capone goes camping?

Criminal intent.

Four friends spend weeks planning the perfect desert camping and riding trip.

Two days before the group is to leave Rob’s wife puts her foot down and tells him he isn’t going.

Rob’s friends are very upset that he can’t go, but what can they do.

Two days later the three get to the camping site only to find Rob sitting there with a tent set up, firewood gathered, and supper cooking on the fire.

“Dang man, how long you been here and how did you talk your wife into letting you go?”

“Well, I’ve been here since yesterday. Yesterday evening I was sitting in my chair and my wife came up behind me and put her hands over my eyes and said ‘guess who’?” I pulled her hands off and she was wearing a brand new see through nightie. She took my hand and took me to our bedroom. The room had two dozen candles and rose pedals all over. She had on the bed, handcuffs and ropes! She told me to tie and cuff her to the bed and I did. And then she said, “now, you can do what ever you want.”

So here I am.

More Funny Jokes

If you enjoyed our funny camping jokes, be sure to check out the rest of LaffGaff for lots more funny jokes such as these:

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