Phone Builder

My 7 year old nephew showed me with pride the “telephone” he had just made from a string and two tin cans.

I pulled out my iPhone and said, “That’s nice, but…”

“Look at what kids your age make in China!”

Fake Bills

I was working in my shop when the cashier called me over.

He said, “These two guys came in and tried to give me some fake fifty dollar bills.”

“What did they look like?” I asked.

He said, “Fifty dollar bills.”

New Scale

A guy says to his wife, “Thanks to that new scale you bought, I always know how much I poop!”

His wife replies, “So you step on the scale before you poop, go to the toilet, step on the scale again and the difference is the weight of your poop?”

The guy says, “Oh, yeah, I guess you could also do it that way…”