Avocado Jokes And Puns

We’d be toast if we didn’t bring you this collection of funny avocado jokes and puns! Guac a lot of jokes there are here for you to enjoy!

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Funny Avocado Jokes

A wife asks her husband, “Could you please go shopping for me and buy one carton of milk and if they have avocados, get 6.

A short time later the husband comes back with 6 cartons of milk.

The wife asks him, “Why did you buy 6 cartons of milk?”

He replies, “They had avocados.”

My grandfather just walked into the room with a guy wearing skinny jeans and eating avocado toast.

I said, “Who is this guy?”

He said, “That’s my hip replacement.”

There are 6.02×10^23 guacas in a guacamole.

Which is also known as avocado’s number.

Don’t rub avocado in your eyes.

You might get guacoma.

What did the duck say when he found an avocado?

Guac, Guac.

I went to my backyard this morning, and I saw a bird of prey eating avocado toast.

It was a millennial falcon.

What do you call an expired avocado?


What do you get when you cross an avocado with The Jungle Book?


I just saw a priest blessing an avocado…

Holy guacamole.

What do you call an avocado that’s giving you the silent treatment?

An incommunicado.

Found a bullet in my avocado.

Guess you can call it glockomole.

What type of eye disease to avocados get when they get old?


What do you call avocados that are grown in the Everglades?


What do you call an overly affectionate avocado?

An avocuddle.

What do you get when you play whack a mole with avocados?


An avocado thief was caught committing a crime…

I heard they tried to get away ,but they didn’t av a car doe.

What is an avocado’s favorite arcade game?


Wife: He is always mixing up common phrases!

Therapist: What if you are just misinterpreting him?

Me: Ooh… Check you out for playing devil’s avocado.

You know what’s hardcore?

An avocado.

How far can a mango…

If he’s got a license but doesn’t avocado?

My friends always make fun of me for driving a car that looks like a piece of fruit.

At least I avocado.

I’ve invented a game where avocados appear randomly and you have to smash as many as possible within the time limit.

I’m calling it Guac-a-Mole.

How does an avocado move?

They guac.

I ordered some Avocado Toast at a cafe, but imagine my surprise when I was given 602214076000000000000000 pieces of toasts. It was then I realized…

I’d accidentally ordered Avogadro’s Toast.

What do you call young avocados?


What is the Jolly Green Giant most afraid of?

Avocado pickers.

Another wooden ball?

Would it kill the makers of avocados to include a different toy, like a mood ring or a novelty eraser?

What do you get when you cross an avocado with a two way radio?

A guackie-talkie.

What type of music do avocados listen to?

Guac & Roll.

What’s the difference between a ripe and a rotten avocado?

About fifteen minutes.

What do you call a fight over an avocado?


More Funny Jokes

If you enjoyed our funny puns and jokes about avocados, check out the rest of LaffGaff for lots more hilarious jokes, including these:

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