Pineapple Jokes And Puns

We knew if we planted the seeds of laughter our efforts would eventually bear fruit and this huge chunk of funny pineapple jokes and puns is the result!

Header image for a page of funny pineapple jokes and puns.

Funny Pineapple Jokes

What do you get when you mix a Christmas tree and an iPad?

A pineapple.

Everyone thinks I’m weird because I’m addicted to ham and pineapple sandwiches.

But that’s just Hawaii roll.

What do you call a fat pineapple?

A pineapple chunk.

The next person that asks me for a pineapple juice, a cranberry juice and some lemonade with a slice of orange all in the same glass is gonna get a punch.

A man goes to the doctor with a pineapple in his nose and bananas in his ears.

He says, “Doctor, what’s wrong with me?”

The doctor says, “Isn’t it obvious? You’re not eating properly.”

Why did the pineapple stop in the middle of the road?

Because he ran out of juice.

What do you call a computer covered in fruit chunks?

A pineApple Mac.

What do they call a pineapple upside down cake in Australia?

A pineapple cake.

What is a bank card’s favourite fruit?

A PIN-apple.

Why did the strawberry go out with the pineapple?

Because he couldn’t get a date.

What do you get when you cross a pineapple and a pig?

A porky–pine.

Why was the pineapple all alone?

Because the banana split.

My sister said that onions are the only food that can make you cry.

So I threw a pineapple in her face.

What do you get when you mix a pineapple with a snake?

Ananas-conda.

Where do you get pineapple milk from?

From its pinenipples.

What do you call a sore pineapple?

A painapple.

Today I tried to make a pineapple smoothie without using any pineapples.

My efforts were fruitless.

A person was hit by a bus after he claimed pineapple goes with pizza.

Also, I lost my bus license today.

Did you know that the pineapple has a different name in most other languages?

That’s ananas!

I once put rum and pineapple into CERN’s particle accelerator.

Discovered the Piña Collider.

What do you call a pineapple with no yellow part?

A cactus.

Why was the shark eating pineapples?

Because it makes seamen taste better.

I said to my can of pineapple, “I don’t like you.”

It was crushed.

Three guys crash land on an island. Immediately they are captured by the indigenous tribal people.

It becomes clear that these people are cannibals. The men beg for their lives, as anyone would. Through a bunch of hand-waving, drawing pictures in the sand, etc. the men learn of a ritual the tribal people let prisoners perform in a chance to save their lives.

First, the men are sent out into the jungle to collect 10 pieces of any fruit they find. So off they go.

The first guy comes back with 10 oranges.

The tribe chief explains that now he must put all 10 pieces of fruit up his butt without making any noise.

The guy gets to like one and a half before he cries out in pain. He’s immediately killed and eaten.

The second guy comes back with grapes. The chief explains the next challenge to the guy. He gets to 9 grapes and he laughs.

The tribe kills and eats him right there on the spot.

The first two guys meet up at the pearly gates.

The first guys asks the second, “What happened? You were almost home free!”

The second guy replies, “Yeah, I know… but right as I was almost done I saw the third guy coming back with pineapples.”

A man walks into a bar with a pineapple on his head.

The bartender looks at him quizzically and says “Hey, why do you have a pineapple on your head?”

The man answers, “Oh, it’s ok. I always wear a pineapple on my head on Tuesdays.”

The bartender says, “But it’s Thursday…”

Upon hearing this the man’s face changes to a look of abject horror and he says, “Oh God! I’m so embarrassed!”

A pizza shop owner was found dead covered in pepporoni, mushrooms, ham and pineapple.

Word is… he topped himself.

Why does SpongeBob own such a huge piano?

Because he lives in a pineapple under the C.

What kind of fruit do trees like the most?

Pine-apple.

When is an apple not an apple?

When it is a pineapple.

A pineapple and a grapefruit fell in love.

But they’re unhappy because they cantaloupe.

What did the salad say to pineapple?

Lettuce be friends.

What do you call a pineapple that plays the trumpet?

Tooty fruity.

What do you call a computer that grows on a Christmas tree?

A pineApple.

More Funny Jokes

If you enjoyed these hilarious jokes and puns about pineapples, be sure to check out the rest of LaffGaff for lots more funny jokes, such as these: