Salad Jokes And Puns

We thought we’d toss these funny salad jokes and puns your way because your lack of laughter needs ad-dressing!

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Funny Salad Jokes And Puns

I normally knock on the fridge door before I open it.

Just in case there’s a salad dressing.

What do you call a chicken looking at a bowl of lettuce?

Chicken sees a salad.

What did the priest say to the salad before he ate it?

Lettuce pray.

No matter what I put in my salads, they’re always too dry.

It’s a problem that needs addressing.

Step by step on how to make a chicken salad:

Step 1: Make a salad.

Step 2: Give it to your chicken.

Why did the man ask his boss for more salad?

He thought he was due a celery increase.

I made a salad yesterday.

It wasn’t very good.

So I tossed it.

I was at the restaurant and the waiter asked if I’d like the soup or salad.

I replied, “Yes, I’d love the super salad.”

I made a chicken salad this morning.

The stupid thing wouldn’t even eat it.

What do you do with an epileptic lettuce?

You make a seizure salad.

Why did the tomato blush?

It saw the salad dressing.

What does a priest put on salad?

Lettuce spray.

“For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction.” – Newton’s Law.

“Shredded cabbage and carrot make a great salad.” – Cole’s Law.

Any salad can be a Caesar salad.

If you stab it enough.

A hamburger walks into a bar and orders a salad

The bartender says, “Sorry, we don’t serve food here.”

What do you call those dead pieces of green stuff left in the bottom of a bowl of Caesar salad?

The last romaines. Now lettuce pray for them…

I dreamt I was making a salad.

I was tossing all night.

A bowl of salad went to church.

Lettuce pray.

What’s the coldest salad made with?

Iceberg lettuce.

Why should you never smoke at a salad bar?

Because you might ignite the rocket.

What’s an atom’s favorite salad topping?


Why did the guy want to ride a horse while eating salad?

Because he loved the ranch.

My family was held captive by a salad.

It wouldn’t lettuce leaf.

A blonde walks into a library.

She asks the librarian, “Can I get a chicken salad?”

The librarian answers, “Sorry, this is a library.”

The blonde responds, “Oh, right! (Whispering) Can I get a chicken salad?”

I ate a green salad the last time I was on a plane.

It was my phyto-flight response.

Why don’t pine trees eat salad?

Because they’re coniferous.

Why did the fruit salad turn brown so fast?

It had too much melonin it.

More Funny Food Jokes

If you enjoyed our hilarious jokes about salads, check out the rest of LaffGaff where we have lots more funny food puns and humor, such as these:

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