Funny Cheese Jokes And Puns

These cheese jokes are cheesy in more ways than one! But brie-the in and relax and see if you camembert our cheese puns.

We hope you enjoy this selection of the very best cheese jokes and puns! And if you do, don’t forget to spread them.

A great collection of funny cheese jokes and puns

60 Very Cheesy Jokes

1. Cheese Factory

A tornado destroyed a French cheese factory.

All that was left was de Brie.

2. Cheese Thrower

I was walking down the street the other day when this kid threw some cheese at me.

I thought, “That’s not very mature.”

3. Welsh Eaters

How do the Welsh eat their cheese?

Caerphilly.

4. Cheesy Dinosaur

What do you call a dinosaur made of cheese?

Gorgonzilla.

5. Not Yours

What do you call cheese that isn’t yours?

Nacho cheese.

6. Bear In A Tree

What cheese do you use to coax a bear from a tree?

Come-on-bear!

7. Dreamer

I had a dream last night where I ate cheese.

Now I’m having a nightmare day.

8. Mr. Cheese

How did Mr. Cheese paint his wife?

He Double Gloucester.

9. Cheese Puffs

What are cheese puffs made of?

Wotsit matter?

10. Favorite Drink

What does cheese like to drink?

Morbier.

11. Cheddar Addiction

I’ve got an addiction to Cheddar cheese.

It’s only mild though.

12. Music Genre

Which genre of music appeals to most cheeses?

R ‘n’ Brie.

13. Medieval Castle

Which cheese surrounds a medieval castle?

Moat-zarella.

14. Middle Easter Cheese

What do you call a cheese factory from the Middle East?

Cheeses of Nazareth.

15. Cheese Grater

My wife was preparing lunch today when she asked, “Honey, where’s the cheese grater?”

I replied, “Some would say France, others would say England. It depends on your personal preference.”

16. Sensible

Why does cheese look sensible?

Because everyone else on the plate is crackers.

17. Party

So I went to a party last night, and brought loads of cheese to share with everyone, but I don’t understand why there is Stiltons left?!

18. Psychiatric Ward

What cheese belongs in a psychiatric ward?

Em-mental.

19. Threatened

The other day this guy threatened to throw dough, cheese and tomatoes at me.

I said, “You wanna pizza me?”

20. Funny Girlfriend

My girlfriend thinks it’s hilarious to steal my soft creamy cheese.

The laughing cow.

21. Greek Woman

Why did the Greek woman stop eating cheese?

Because she was getting Feta and Feta.

22. Backwards

Which cheese is made backwards?

Edam.

23. Don’t Slice Me

Why didn’t the cheese want to get sliced?

It had grater plans.

24. Curly Hair

What do you call a cheese with curly hair?

Perm-esan.

25. Look In The Mirror

What did the cheese say when it looked in the mirror?

Hallomi.

26. Cheese Diet

When should you go on a cheese diet?

When you need to Cheddar a few pounds.

27. Favorite Cheese

What’s Jay-Z’s favorite cheese?

Brie-once.

28. Rude Guy

This guy threw some cheese at me yesterday.

How dairy.

29. Hide A Horse

What’s the best cheese to hide a horse behind?

Marscapone.

30. Smiling Mouse

How do you get a mouse to smile?

Say cheese.

31. Fight

A stone and a cheese were having a fight.

The cheese was winning, but the Roquefort back.

32. Talking Cheese

What did the cheese say to itself in the mirror?

Looking Gouda.

33. Cheese Counter

I walked up to the cheese counter in the store last week.

I interrupted him and he had to start again.

34. Cannibal’s Favorite

What’s a cannibal’s favorite cheese?

Limb-burger.

35. Religious Type

What’s the most religious type of cheese?

Swiss cheese – it’s so holy.

36. Logical Conclusion

Cheese has holes.

The more cheese you have, the more holes you have.

The more holes you have, the less cheese you have.

Conclusion: The more cheese you have, the less cheese you have.

37. Keep An Eye On It

When should you keep an eye on your cheese?

When it’s up to no Gouda.

38. Christmas Leftovers

I was eating some cheese and crackers that were left over from Christmas yesterday.

The cheese was nice but I couldn’t finish the crackers.

I almost choked on a plastic moustache and some miniature dice.

39. Mouse Hotel

What hotel do mice stay in?

The Stilton.

40. Flying Cheese

What do you call flying cheese?

Curds of prey.

41. A Pirate’s Favorite

What’s a pirate’s favorite cheese?

Chedd-AARRR!

42. The A-Team

The A-Team are cooking in the kitchen one day.

Mr T mixes eggs and cream. Face cooks some broccoli. And Murdoch grates some cheese.

Then Hannibal walks in with a pastry case and says, “I love it when a flan comes together.”

43. Royal Duck

What kind of cheese sounds like a royal duck?

Quark.

44. Alcoholic

What do you call alcoholic cheese?

Livarot.

45. Clever Mice

We’ve found a few mice in our house over the last few weeks so I set a few mouse traps the other night.

The next morning I got out of bed and went down to check the traps. I was very surprised with what I found.

I went back upstairs, jumped back into bed and said to my wife, “There are some clever mice in this area.”

“Why? she asked. “Did they manage to get the cheese without springing the traps?”

I replied, “No, they didn’t go near them. They’re sat in the living room playing Scrabble.”

46. Beaver’s Favorite

Which is a beaver’s favorite cheese?

e-Dam.

47. Clown Departure

Why did the clown leave the cheese circus?

Because he couldn’t get his Stilt-on.

48. With Relish

This guy walks into the sandwich shop and says, “Cheese sandwich please”.

The guy behind the counter says, “With relish?”

The first guy replies “Why, I would just love one of your delicious cheese sandwiches, my good man”

49. Vegan Photograph

My friend is so vegan he won’t even have his photograph taken in case he has to say, “Cheese”.

50. Grow On Trees

Would a smoked cheese grow on a tree?

No, but an Applewood.

51. Snooker

I find ‘the difference between chalk and cheese’ is significantly greater when playing snooker.

52. Lion’s Favorite

What is a lion’s favorite cheese?

Roar-quefort.

53. Mouse Photographer

I took a photograph of a mouse today.

He didn’t say “Cheese” but I could tell he was thinking it.

54. Poor Old Nan

My nan choked to death on a piece of cheese.

Now I can’t have my photo taken without bursting into tears.

55. Up To My Knees

I was up to my knees in cheese spread the other day.

That’s the last time I walk the streets of Philadelphia.

56. Colorful Grater

I bought a purple cheese grater today.

I didn’t even know you could get purple cheese.

57. Cheesiest Holiday

Why is Christmas the cheesiest holiday?

Because of baby cheese-us.

58. A Lot Of Cheese

When I got back from the store, my wife asked me if I’d bought any cheese.

I said, “Yes, I bought a Tunworth.”

59. Swiss Cheese

Why can’t Swiss cheese be part of a fat-free diet?

It’s made with hole milk.

60. Medusa

What kind of cheese does Medusa eat?

Gorgonzola.


Cheese Jokes & Cheese Puns

If you enjoyed our funny cheese jokes and puns, check out the rest of our site for lots more funny jokes and humor, including our banana jokes and our popsicle jokes. as well as these:

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A selection of the most cheesy and corny jokes for kids and adults alike.
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A cracking selection of funny egg jokes and puns
A selection of jokes that are really bad, so bad you'll have to laugh!
A selection of so bad they're funny Dad jokes