We’ve extracted the very best teeth jokes and puns for you, so you won’t be de-molar-ized! You won’t find reading them like pulling teeth because they definitely don’t suck!
Funny Teeth Jokes And Puns
My wife said to our son, “Go brush your teeth with your sister.”
My son replied, “Shouldn’t I use a toothbrush?”
There’s a guy I work with who lost all his teeth and refuses to stop talking.
I asked him today, “Why don’t you ever shut up?”
He responded, “I find it hard to bite my tongue.”
Why do dentists call them “Dental x-rays” when they could just call them…
Tooth pics.
Losing all your teeth must really suck.
I’m always sad when I go to the dentist.
So I put on music and listen through my blue tooth headphones.
What do you call George Washington’s false teeth?
Presidentures.
My son didn’t want to tell me that his tooth was loose.
I had to pull it out of him.
What do you call a bear with no teeth?
A gummy bear.
My dentist removed the wrong tooth.
It was accidental.
What is red and bad for your teeth?
A brick.
I know a guy who loves to eat sofas.
He has a suite tooth.
As I was haphazardly putting up some shelving, it fell on me and chipped my tooth.
Now I’m annoyed at my shelf.
Why did the rapper get gold teeth?
He wanted to put his money where his mouth is.
What did the dinosaur eat when the dentist fixed his tooth?
The dentist!
A toothless termite walks into a tavern.
He asks, “Is the bar tender here?”
Most people have 32 teeth and some have 6.
It’s simple meth.
What do you call a dinosaur that takes good care of his teeth?
A floss-o-raptor.
What do you call a boomerang made of teeth?
I don’t remember the punchline and it’s probably gonna come back to bite me.
What kind of teeth can you buy with a dollar?
Buck teeth.
My son said he felt like all his teeth were loose.
I said, “Not to worry, it’s all in your head.”
How did the lumberjack lose all his teeth?
Axe-identally.
What letters are bad for your teeth?
D K.
Where do killer whales go to get their teeth aligned?
The orcadontist.
You better start brushing your teeth, son!
Oral-B very mad!
Why did the yogi refuse anesthetic to have his tooth extracted?
He wanted to transcend dental medication.
A saber tooth tiger would never blow anything up.
But a dino might.
While wandering in the desert I came across a lamp.
When I rubbed it a Genie popped out.
Genie: You have released me from my prison, in return I shall grant you three wishes.
Me: I’ve seen this before. Whatever I wish for will come back and bite me in some way won’t it?
Genie: I promise that won’t happen. I’m so sure it won’t I’ll give you infinite wishes if it does.
Me: Okay. I wish for a boomerang with teeth.
Genie: You son of a…
What has 132 legs and 8 teeth?
The front row of a Toby Keith concert.
A man goes to the dentist with some broken teeth.
The dentist asks the man what happened, to which the man responds saying, “My wife cooked some chicken and roti (Indian flatbread) but the bread was very hard and stiff.”
The dentist replied, “You should have told her the bread was too hard and refused to eat it.”
To which the man responds, “That’s exactly what I did!”
Why does Donkey Kong brush his teeth?
To prevent tooth DK.
A little boy was in a bus eating a chocolate, then he took another one and then another…
A man next to him said, “Do you know that too much of that will damage your teeth?”
The boy replied, “My grandfather still had all his teeth at 105 years pld.”
The man asked, “Was he eating a lot of chocolate?”
The boy answered, “No, he was always minding his own business.”
More Funny Jokes
If you enjoyed our funny teeth jokes and puns, be sure to take a look at the rest of LaffGaff for lots more funny jokes, such as these:
