Airplane Jokes

We’re not winging it here, these hilarious airplane jokes are sure to take off! That’s because there are non funnier, plane and simple!

Header image for a page of funny airplane jokes and puns.

Funny Airplane Jokes And Puns

My grandad was responsible for 28 downed German planes in WW2.

Still to this day holds the record as the worst mechanic the Luftwaffe ever had.

What do we want?

Low flying airplane noises.

When do we want them?

Neeeooooooow.

I’m on a plane and the lunch choices are white meat chicken or German sausage.

Unfortunately, I’m seated in the last row.

I’m hoping for the breast, but preparing for the wurst.

What sound does a 747 airplane make when it bounces?

Boeing, Boeing, Boeing.

A photon gets on a plane and the stewardess asks him if he has any luggage.

He says, “No, I’m traveling light.”

My wife asked Siri, “Surely it’s not going to rain today?”

Siri said. “Yes it will rain, and don’t call me Shirley.”

I think she forgot to take her phone off Airplane mode.

I’m making a new documentary on how to fly a plane.

We’re currently filming the pilot.

Two wrongs don’t make a right, but three rights make a left, and two Wrights made an airplane.

What do you call an airplane that flies backwards?

A receding airline.

Give a man a plane ticket, he’ll fly for a day.

Push a man out of a plane, he’ll fly for the rest of his life.

My daughter was trying to feed her baby, but she wasn’t having any of it and wouldn’t eat any of her dinner.

“Try the Airplane.” I said.

“Airplane? What is it?”

“It’s a classic spoof film from the 1980’s but that’s not important right now…”

My Dad really wanted me to make paper planes with him.

Eventually I folded.

What sound does a rubber airplane make?

Boeing.

How do flat-earthers travel the world?

On a plane.

I was arrested for taking a photo of a landing airplane.

I was charged with in descent exposure.

I flew home for Christmas and decided to bring back a global domination-themed board game.

I recognize that it could have been dangerous to bring that game on the plane.

But it was a Risk I was willing to take.

I don’t get airplane jokes.

They go right over my head.

What kind of bagel can fly?

A plane bagel.

I dropped my phone from the top of the Eiffel Tower.

It’s okay, it was in airplane mode.

Delta airlines have stopped using seasoning on board their aircraft.

They only serve plane food.

I keep hanging car fresheners in my airplane.

It really helps with descent.

I just put my cell phone on airplane mode.

Biggest disappointment of my life.

It didn’t fly anywhere.

What’s an airline pilot’s favourite flavour of crisps?

Plane.

I was once in an airplane when I realized the pilot didn’t pass any proper training.

He was just winging it.

I just saw the darndest thing at the airport.

A vulture was trying to board the plane with a dead, rotting animal hanging out of its mouth.

The gate agent tried to stop him but the vulture said, “I’m clearly permitted one piece of carrion luggage.”

What did the airplane say to the helicopter?

Mad props, yo!

Wanna hear an airplane joke?

Nevermind, it’d go right over your head.

Did you hear about the new TV show about a plane crash?

The pilot was horrible.

My son, who took the wrong flight, texted me to ask what baggage he should use for a plane flight home.

I responded, “Carry on, my wayward son.”

You can say “hi” to everyone on a plane except one person…

Jack.

More Funny Jokes

If you enjoyed these funny airplane jokes, check out the rest of LaffGaff for lots more funny jokes, such as these: