These funny smiling jokes and puns are guaranteed to bring a grin to anyone’s face! So make sure you save them to your smile system!
Funny Smiling Jokes
My wife sent me a heartwarming text that read, “If you’re sleeping, send me your dreams. If you’re laughing, send me your smile. If you’re eating, send me a bite. If you’re drinking, send me a sip. If you’re crying, send me your tears. I love you!”
I replied, “I’m on the toilet, please advise…”
Did you know you cannot breath through the nose while you’re smiling?
Haha, I made you smile.
What’s the longest word in the dictionary?
Smiles. Because there is a mile between the Ss.
My wife was a little puzzled when I suddenly bought some new beads for her abacus.
Smiling, I said to her…
“Honey, it’s the little things that count!”
My son asked me, “Daddy, why do bees stay in the hive in the winter?”
Smiling, I answered…
You know what actually makes me smile?
My facial muscles.
My girlfriend complains a lot that I don’t smile anymore.
Well she’s the one who wanted a serious relationship.
I told my wife that she should embrace her mistakes.
Then she smiled and hugged me tightly.
Why are gay people always smiling?
Because they can’t keep a straight face.
“Oh my God,” my wife said, smiling through her tears, “I think our son is … kicking.”
I said, “Isn’t that how soccer is supposed to work?”
I decide to make sure my wife woke up with a big smile on her face this morning.
I can’t have Sharpies in the house anymore.
Some people are like slinkies…
Not really good for anything but they bring a smile to your face when you push them down the stairs.
Smiles are like underwear.
They keep your cheeks up.
Why are goldfish snacks always smiling?
Because they’re baked.
A pregnant woman boards a bus.
After taking a seat, she notices a man smiling at her.
She feels self-conscious and changes her seat, but he seems even more amused. She moves a third time, and he starts to giggle.
On her fourth move, he bursts out laughing.
They both get off the bus at the next stop.
The pregnant woman is furious and demands an explanation.
“What exactly is so damn funny?”
“I’m sorry, ma’am,” replies the giggling man. “But I couldn’t help noticing you’re pregnant, and when you first sat down, you sat under an advertisement which read ‘Coming Soon: The Gold Dust Twins.’ Then you sat under an ad that read ‘Sloan’s Liniments Remove Swelling.’ Then you moved under a deodorant advertisement which read ‘William’s Stick Did the Trick.’ And I just couldn’t hold it in any longer when you moved a fourth time and sat under a tire advertisement which read ‘Dunlop Rubber Would Have Prevented This Accident.'”
I love eating babies and smiling
But I hate punctuation
If you see me smiling, it’s because I’m thinking of doing something naughty or evil.
If you see me laughing, it’s because I’ve already done it.
Why do grandpas smile all the time?
Because they can’t hear a word you’re saying.
Keep smiling! It freaks people out.
It also makes people wonder what you’re up to!
If you ever see me smiling on a Monday …
It means an alien has killed me and is wearing my skin as a disguise.
Why did the baby smile everytime his mom exercised?
He really likes milkshakes.
What do you call a woman who smiles at you when you leave the house and smiles again when you come back?
The neighbor’s wife.
I tried to pay my taxes to the IRS with a smile.
Turns out they prefer money.
How do you make a mouse smile?
With a cheesy joke.
Smile they said, life could be worse.
So I did and it was.
My wife says my face looks funny when I smile.
It’s something I face everyday.
Why don’t electrons smile?
They only have negative thoughts.
What makes an anagram fan smile?