Funny Tent Jokes And Puns
I took a poll the other day.
Turns out 100% of people get angry when their tents fall down.
Why can’t you run through a campsite?
You can only ran, it’s past tents.
I was helping my daughter make a pillow fort when I said to her, “We’ve got enough pillows to make a fivet.”
She asked, “What’s a fivet?”
I said, “It’s a little bigger than a fort; half the size of a tent.”
My insurance company said if my tent is stolen while I’m camping…
I wouldn’t be covered.
My local outdoor store had a tent sale on last winter.
The sign read, “Now is the winter of our discount tent.”
Did you hear about the circus fire?
It was in tents.
What do you call a bunch of crows inside a tent?
Murder within tent.
I said to my therapist, “I keep having these dreams. First I’m a teepee; then I’m a wigwam; then a teepee; then a wigwam. It’s making me crazy. What’s wrong with me?”
She said, “You need to relax. You’re two tents.”
I had a dream last night that I was hiding from a serial killer in a little room while camping.
It was in tents.
For my Covid quarantine, I got a tent and put a TV and all the Tarantino movies I could find in it.
I call it my Tentin’ Quarantino.
There’s a discount to get into our local aquarium, as long as you’re camping, or dressed as a dolphin.
So, to all in tents and porpoises, it’s free!
Why do people hate camping with octopuses?
My father was a juggler who messed up on opening night of the circus.
He ruined months of in-tents training.
Police just arrested a lurker with a knife hiding in people’s sleeping gear at a popular camping site.
He was charged with criminal in-tent.
I went to the camping supply store and was going to buy a tent but the pegs were on the top shelf.
The stakes were too high.
It’s just coming in to winter where I live, so I pitched a tent and put a disco ball inside.
Because now is the winter of my disco tent.
A man goes to the carnival with his family, and they decide to split up to enjoy the rides.
The husband walks by a tent with a sign advertising a fortune teller. He doesn’t believe in such things,but decides to go inside anyway.
A woman looks up from a small table with a crystal ball and speaks, “Greetings, would you like your fortune foretold?”
Thinking for a second, he answers, “I’d like some proof first that you aren’t a fake.”
The woman looks into her crystal ball, and answers, “I see you have two lovely children with you this fine day.”
“Pff, I have three children, not two.”
The woman grins back. “That’s what you think.”
The Department of Defense wanted to improve their survival training.
Thye select a sergeant from the Army, Marine Corp, and Air Force for interview, in order to see what they already know.
The interviewer asked the three sergeants, “OK. What would you do if you were away on deployment, you’re about to go to sleep, when you find a large scorpion in your tent.”
The soldier shrugs and says, “Step on it with my boot, check the area for more, and providing I don’t find any, go to sleep.”
Next the marine pipes in, “I’d chop off its tail with my knife and eat the body for substance!”
The interviewer moves on to the Air Force Sergeant. “And What would you do?”
He responds, “Well the first thing I’d do is call the front desk and demand to know exactly whose idea of a joke it was to set up a tent in my hotel room!”
I’m fantastic at setting up tents.
I have perfect pitch.
I was having trouble in my new job at the tent factory.
I got myself into a bit of a flap.
When police discovered a huge cache of stolen camping equipment they called in the public to view a table of con-tents.
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