We had a light bulb moment and realized you might like to here these hilarious tulip jokes and puns straight from our own two lips!
Funny Tulip Jokes
How many lips does a flower have? Tulips.
How do flowers whistle? With their tulips.
A family of moles awakens from hibernation.
The father mole pokes his head out of the hole and says, “I smell tulips it must be spring”.
The mother mole pokes her head out of the hole and says, “I smell cherry blossoms it must be spring”.
The baby mole is trying to squeeze between his parents but gets stuck and says, “All I smell is molasses”.
What kind of flower has a mouth? Tulips.
What flower does everyone have on their head? Tulips.
How do you grow the most vibrant tulips? Begin with a light bulb.
What do you need for a healthy mouth in the Netherlands? Tulips.
What sort of flowers grow on your face? Tulips.
How do flowers kiss? With their tulips.
Which gardens are most talkative? The ones with tulips.
What type of flowers are the best at kissing? Tulips.
How many Dutchmen does it take to change a light bulb? Just one, most tulip, daffodil, or hyacinth bulbs don’t weigh very much.
Two elderly men are conversing and drinking wine while their wives prepare dinner in the kitchen.
As the discussion begins to dwindle, Tom and Norman decide to delve into their limited pop culture knowledge.
“Well now, Tom,” says Norman, “Me and Carolyn tuned into one of those nightly talk shows the other day. Boy, was it a hoot! But I can’t seem to remember for the life of me what it was called.”
‘Here, describe it to me. Lets see if I can help,” offers Tom.
“Well, he was a big ol’ middle aged man,” Norman starts, “And he had a whole lotta’ cars. Ah! I got it now! His name was… well, shoot. What was his name? It was a bird of some sort.”
“A bird? Like a robin?”
“No no, a blue bird. What are those small blue birds, Tom?”
“A bluejay?” suggests Tom.
“Yeah! Jay was his name. Jay Leno. Y’all should try him out sometime.”
“Well, you know what Norm. We went and saw ourselves a movie the other night, but darned if I’ve already forgot the name.”
“Come now, Tom, why don’t you run it past me? Maybe I’ll do some good.”
“Yeah, sure,” says Tom. “Well… shoot, let me see… Okay. What’s the name of that flower, a common flower.”
“A dandelion?” suggests Norman.
“No no. No it’s a red one.”
“You mean a tulip?”
“Naw come now, Norm. It’s red and gots thorns all over it.”
“That’d be a rose, then.”
“A rose! Yeah, that’s what it was, a rose!” exclaims Tom.
He turns over his shoulder and cries “HEY ROSE, WHAT WAS THE NAME OF THAT MOVIE WE SAW THE OTHER NIGHT??”
A man has 3 daughters.
The first daughter walks up to her dad and says, “Daddy, why is my name Rose?”
“Because a rose petal fell on you when you were a baby,” replies the father.
The first daughter smiles and skips off to play with her dolls.
The second daughter walks up to her dad and says, “Daddy, why is my name Tulip?”
“Because a tulip petal fell on you when you were a baby,” replies the father.
The second daughter smiles and skips off to play with her dolls.
The third daughter walks up to her dad and says, “Hhhhhnnngngngnggggddddddrrrrruhuuhuhhuhhuhdadgh!”
“Go to your room, Cinderblock,” replies the father.
Roses are red, tulips are red, violets are red. My garden is on fire.
How do you kiss a girl on Valentine’s Day? You use tulips.
How do you kiss a florist? With tulips.
What grows right under your nose? Tulips.
What do you get when you cross a tulip with a rose? A trumpet flower.
Jokes About Tulips
If these puns and jokes about tulips grew on you, then check out the rest of LaffGaff for lots more funny jokes such as these: