We thought we’d be heading for a fall if we didn’t bring you these funny falling jokes and puns! Don’t worry, they won’t get you down!
Funny Falling Jokes
I just saw my wife trip and fall, while carrying a laundry basket full of ironed clothes.
I watched it all unfold.
A sheep, a drum, and a snake fall off a cliff…
I’ll never forget my grandpa’s last words.
STOP SHAKING THE LADDER, I’M GONNA FALL.
My neighbor blamed my gravel for making him fall.
But it was his own dumb asphalt.
I had a bunch of books fall on me.
I only have my shelf to blame.
I went to the liquor store on my bike and bought a bottle vodka and put it in the basket on the front.
Then it occured to me that if I fall or something happens then the bottle might break.
So I drank it all right there and it’s a good thing I did because I fell 7 times on the way home.
Why did the blind man fall into the well?
Because he couldn’t see that well.
Why do scuba divers always fall backwards out of boats?
It’s because if they fell forwards, they’d still be in the boat.
What’s green and fuzzy and if it falls out of a tree could kill you?
A pool table.
Why are Gay Pride parades in Summer?
Because Pride comes before the Fall.
A cop pulls a guy over for suspected drunk driving.
The cop opens the door and the driver falls out onto the asphalt.
The cop says, “Wow, you’re so drunk, you can’t even walk!”
The drunk says, “Yeah, that’s why I took my car!”
I don’t trust the press.
Sometimes they wear badges that say ‘press’, but if you press those badges they just fall over all surprised.
Why does my motorcycle keep falling asleep?
Because it’s two tired.
Did you know that if you poured salt on a cat’s tail it will fall off?
It’s true! And if you pour pepper on a cat’s tail, the pepper will also fall off.
Here’s a step-by-step guide on how to fall down stairs!
I saw a poor old lady fall in the street today.
Well I’m assuming she’s poor, she only had $1 in her purse.
A girl named Autumn tried to prank me.
I didn’t fall for it.
What do you call a herd of sheep falling down a hill?
A lamb slide.
How to find out if you’re old or not:
Fall down in front of a group of people.
If they laugh, you’re young. If they panic, you’re old.
Icarus and Daedalus, after building wings of wax and feathers, took to the skies to escape the labyrinth of the Minoans.
But, as the story goes, Icarus flew too close to the sun, and his wings melted.
As he dropped from the sky, Icarus said what any sane mortal would: “Help, I’m falling!”
Daedalus turned to his son, and before he could catch him, he uttered: “Nice to meet you falling. I’m Dad-alus.”
My favorite old coat is falling apart and now I’m going to have to throw it out.
Or sew its seams.
Pancake day really crepe’d up on me this year.
I hope this joke doesn’t fall flat.
I told my mother moose were falling from the sky.
She said, “It’s reindeer.”
Why did the Soviet Union take so long to fall?
Because they kept Stalin.
I took a poll the other day.
Turns out 100% of people get angry when their tents fall down.
I asked a caveman, “If a tree falls in the forest and no one is there to hear it, does it make a sound?”
He replied, “It wood”.
Everybody knows about Darth Vader but nobody knows about the rise and fall off his twin sister…
How long does a jousting match last?
Until knight fall.
On a recent flight, my friend asked me, “If the door suddenly opens, you think we will fall out?”
I said, “No, we will still be friends.”
A Spanish man was crushed to death by a falling “two”.
It was a lethal dos.
My wife just yelled that I should fall in a pit or hole sunk into the earth to reach a supply of water and die.
I know she means well.
Two caterpillars are escaping a spider.
They climb up a branch and get to the edge, but realize they are now trapped.
“Hold on tight!” says the first caterpillar, and he quickly chews through the branch.
It snaps and they begin to fall, but he grabs two protruding twigs and steers the branch through the air with grace and finesse.
“That’s amazing!” says the second caterpillar, “How in the world are you doing that?!”
The first caterpillar scoffs, “Am I the only one in the whole darn forest who knows how to drive a stick?”
I have written a book on how to fall down the stairs.
It’s a step by step guide.
In the forest, a sad lonely looking turtle begins to climb slowly up a huge tree.
Half way up, it edges along a branch, sighs, then jumps.
It falls smacking into the ground, bouncing and tumbling across the forest floor.
Recovering and bruised, he slowly climbs the tree again, jumps and falls to the ground.
The turtle tries again and again, while a couple of birds sitting on a branch watch his pathetic efforts.
Finally, the female bird turns to her mate, “Darling, don’t you think it’s time to tell him he’s adopted?”
What does a blanket say when it falls off the bed?
If a tree falls in the forest and no one hears it…
Then my illegal logging operation is a great success.
Did you know Aaron Burr had a brother who was always falling over?
His name was Tim.
Why did the hipster fall in the lake?
He went ice skating before it was cool.
What did the horse say after falling?
“Help, I’ve fallen and I can’t giddy up.”
Alcoholics don’t run in my family.
But sometimes they fall down the stairs.
Nobody ever talks about Humpty Dumpty’s winter…
They always just talk about his great Fall.
I keep falling off my bike and hurting myself.
It’s really a vicious cycle.
I was awoken last night by a strange, “cluck cluck cluck” sound and feathers falling on my face.
Must have been a poultry-geist.
Where do you take a dog when its tail falls off?
The retail store.