Bad Jokes That You Can’t Help Laughing At

Some bad jokes are so awful you just have to laugh.

And as laughter is our favorite thing, we’ve gathered together the best (the worst?) really bad jokes for you. And we mean really bad!

We bet you still laugh though.

So enjoy these awfully bad jokes.

A selection of jokes that are really bad, so bad you'll have to laugh!

Why can’t a nose be 12 inches long?

Because then it’d be a foot.

What’s the best time to go to the dentist?


Why does Piglet smell?

Because he plays with Pooh.

Why did Mozart kill all his chickens?

Because when he asked them who the best composer was, they all said, “Bach, Bach, Bach.”

What are a ninja’s favorite type of shoe?


Why do crabs never give to charity?

Because they’re shellfish.

How do astronomers organize a party?

They planet.

How do you know when you’re going to drown in milk?

When it’s past your eyes.

Last night I dreamed that I was a muffler.

I woke up exhausted.

When you have a bladder infection, urine trouble.

Our wedding was so beautiful even the cake was in tiers.

What did one plate say to the other?

Lunch is on me.

Did you hear about the guy who invented Lifesavers?

They say he made a mint.

How do you make anti-freeze?

Take away her blanket.

What did the big chimney say to the little chimney?

You’re too young to be smoking.

What’s the difference between bird flu and swine flu?

If you have bird flu, you need tweet-ment. If you have swine fly, you need oink-ment.

Why don’t dinosaurs talk?

Because they’re dead.

What does a martial arts expert drink?


Why do they put fences around graveyards?

Because people are dying to get in.

Why do chicken coops have two doors?

Because if they had four doors, they’d be chicken sedans.

Why did  Cinderella get kicked off the soccer team?

Because she kept running from the ball.

Why do ghosts love elevators?

Because they lift their spirits.

What sound does a nut make when it sneezes?


What’s a frog’s favorite drink?

Croak-a Cola.

How many lives does a German cat have?


What’s a dentist’s favorite musical instrument?

A tuba toothpaste.

Did you hear about that new movie called Constipation?

No? That’s because it’s not out yet.

What do you call a fly with no wings?

A walk.

What do you call the security guards outside the Samsung factory?

The Guardians of the Galaxy.

What do you call a horse who likes arts and crafts?

A hobby horse.

How did the hipster burn his mouth?

He drank his coffee before it was cool.

Who writes ghost stories?

A ghost writer.

How do you catch a bra?

With a booby trap.

What did the tie say to the neck?

I think I’ll just hang around.

What do you call a crab that plays baseball?

A pinch hitter.

Really Bad Jokes

If you enjoyed these really bad jokes, have a look around the rest of our site for lots more lame jokes, including these:

A collection of really bad puns so awful you just have to laugh!
Looking for bad jokes? Here are some of the worst jokes ever!
A selection of so bad they're funny Dad jokes
These anti jokes shouldn't be amusing but they're hilarious!
A selection of the most cheesy and corny jokes for kids and adults alike.
A selection of hilariously stupid jokes for kids!