Ironing Jokes And Puns

You’re sure to crease up with laughter at these funny ironing jokes and puns! Let off steam by reading them – we promise you won’t be board, they’re really smooth!

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Funny Ironing Jokes

I just saw my wife trip and fall, while carrying a laundry basket full of ironed clothes.

I watched it all unfold.

Why is it a bad idea to iron a four leaf clover?

Because you shouldn’t press your luck.

I stopped ironing my clothes.

I have less pressing concerns.

When I don’t have time to iron a shirt, I just steel one.

What kind of medical condition causes wrinkled clothes?

An iron deficiency.

A woman heard that her blonde friend was in the hospital.

She went to visit her, and found her propped up in bed with bandages over both her ears.

“What in the world happened to you?” she asked.

“It was the craziest thing,” said the blonde. “I was ironing clothes when the phone rang. Without thinking I held the iron up to my ear and said ‘hello?'”

“But what happened to your other ear?”

“I had to call the ambulance, didn’t I?”

A woman stopped by, unannounced, at her son’s house.

She knocked on the door then immediately walked in.

She was shocked to see her daughter-in-law lying on the couch, totally naked.

Soft music was playing, and the aroma of perfume filled the room.

“What are you doing?!” she asked.

“I’m waiting for Mike to come home from work,” the daughter-in- law answered.

“But you’re naked!” the mother-in-law exclaimed.

“This is my love dress,” the daughter-in-law explained.

“Love dress? But you’re naked!”

“Mike loves me and wants me to wear this dress,” she explained. “It excites him no end. Every time he sees me in this dress, he instantly becomes romantic and ravages me for hours on end. He can’t get enough of me.”

The mother-in-law left. When she got home, she undressed, showered, put on her best perfume, dimmed the lights, put on a romantic CD, and lay on the couch, waiting for her husband to arrive.

Finally, her husband came home. He walked in and saw her lying there so provocatively.

“What are you doing?” he asked.

“This is my love dress,” she whispered sensually.

“Needs ironing…”

I got an email today from a “Bored Housewife, 32, looking for some action.”

I’ve sent her my ironing. That’ll keep her busy.

If you’re stressed, try ironing clothes.

It’s a great way to let off some steam.

The maid asked her boss, the wife for a raise, and the wife was upset.

The wife asked, “Now, Helen, why do you think you deserve a pay increase?”

Helen: “There are three reasons. The first is that I iron better than you.”

Wife: “Who said that?”

Helen: “Your husband.”

Wife: “Oh.”

Helen: “The second reason is that I am a better cook than you.”

Wife: “Who said that?”

Helen: “Your husband.”

Wife: “Oh.”

Helen: “The third reason is that I am better in bed than you.”

Wife: “Did my husband say that as well?”

Helen: “No, the gardener did.”

Wife: “So, how much do you want?”

I started ironing my clothes.

To de-crease how bad I looked.

Why can’t two women play monopoly together?

There’s only one iron.

What do you call an ironing board that makes your clothes more wrinkly?

An irony board.

As an airplane is about to crash, a female passenger jumps up frantically and announces, “If I’m going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman.”

She removes all her clothing and asks, “Is there someone on this plane who is man enough to make me feel like a woman?”

A man stands up, removes his shirt and says, “Here, iron this!”

“Hey Tony, how is it that your shirts are always wrinkle free?”

Iron, man.

My parents are in the iron and steel business.

My mother irons and my father steals.

A man came home from work, sat down in his favourite chair, turned on the TV, and said to his wife, “Quick, bring me a beer before it starts.”

She looked a little puzzled, but brought him a beer.

When he finished it, he said, “Quick, bring me another beer. It’s gonna start.”

This time she looked a little angry, but brought him a beer.

When it was gone, he said, “Quick, another beer before it starts.”

“That’s it!” She blows her top, “You waltz in here, flop your fat butt down, don’t even say hello to me and then expect me to run around like your slave. Don’t you realize that I cook and clean and wash and iron all day long?”

The husband sighed, “It’s started!”

Why are elephants so wrinkly?

They won’t fit on the ironing board.

I needed a shirt ironed quickly so I asked a former girlfriend who runs a laundry business.

But she doesn’t offer ex press service.

What’s black and screams?

Stevie Wonder answering the iron.

More Funny Jokes

If these hilarious jokes about ironing caused you some laughter wrinkles, check out the rest of LaffGaff for lots more funny jokes, such as these: