Laundry Jokes And Puns

We thought it was time to air these funny laundry jokes and puns! After all, we didn’t want to leave you hanging out to dry! Don’t worry, there’s no dirty ones – they’re all clean!

Header image for a page of funny laundry jokes and puns.

Funny Laundry Jokes

I just saw my wife trip and fall, while carrying a laundry basket full of ironed clothes.

I watched it all unfold.

I just saw my wife walk by with her sexiest underwear on, which can only mean one thing.

It’s laundry day.

Which US state has the highest laundry detergent usage?


OMG! The commute home was awful last night! A tractor trailer carrying laundry detergent crashed and spilled detergent all over all four lanes.

Traffic was Tide up for hours.

I spilled laundry detergent all over myself and the basket of clothes I was carrying.

There was nothing I could do.

My hands were Tide.

I almost fell down the stairs with a basket of laundry.

I said, “That was a close one!”

My dad said, “No, that was a clothes one.”

My wife and I were having this huge argument as to whose turn it is to do laundry.

Finally, I threw in the towel.

A friend of mine just got a washing machine that is WiFi enabled.

I told him not to let it on social media or it’ll air all his dirty laundry.

I’m almost out of laundry detergent.

I hope I have enough to Tide myself over.

Doing laundry always gets a load off my mind.

How much fun is doing laundry?


A Terminator works at my grocery store.

I asked him where the laundry detergent was.

He said, “Aisle B, back.”

What do mermaids use to wash their laundry?


Why do people wash their laundry in Tide?

Because it’s too cold to wash out-tide.

I just did my laundry and now I’m super nervous.

I’ve got a lot on the line.

My neighbor banged on my door yesterday asking if I’d seen who stole her laundry off her line.

I got such a fright I almost wet her panties.

How do they wash laundry in Bangkok?

They use Thai Pods.

I’ve got something to say, it’s pretty dirty though…


My married life is awesome. I cook for my wife and she does my laundry.

We are maid for each other.

What happens after lawn gets wet?


My wife challenged me to a game of strip poker, but it turned out she just wanted to do laundry.

So I folded.

I starting wearing depressing outfits.

It saves time on laundry, since a lot of the time they hang themselves.

Which US President had the most laundry to deal with?


If you don’t think doing laundry is funny…

You need a dryer sense of humor.

I could see she was about to fold when I put my chips on the table…

“Move them,” my wife said. “I’m doing laundry.”

What did the dad say after he repositioned the laundry detergents at the store?

The Tides have turned.

How much does the combined laundry of everyone in the White House weigh?

A Washington.

My wife said she’ll leave me if I don’t stop the laundry puns.

So from today I’m detergent to be better.

Did you hear about the nun who procrastinated doing her laundry?

She had a filthy habit.

We ran out of laundry detergent today and had to open up a new one.

It was a changing of the Tide.

I injured my back reaching for the laundry detergent, but hey…

No pain, no Gain.

That pig just asked me to do his laundry!

What a load of hog wash!

What do you call it when you almost forgot to do your laundry?

A clothes call.

How much laundry does the foul-mouthed housekeeper do?

A sheet load.

Who do you talk to if you want to blackmail a nun?

The person who does their laundry. They know all the nun’s bad habits.

I like to do my laundry naked so that all my clothes are clean.

Unfortunately, the patrons at the laundromat don’t seem to agree.

Why did the warden give laundry soap to departing prisoners?

As a detergent against future grime.

Why does the Caspian Sea have to do more laundry than the Mediterranean Sea?

Because the Caspian Sea is in continent.

What do you call laundry detergent on the top shelf?

High Tide.

Why does my laundromat refuse to raise the laundry rates?

It has a static charge.

Due to turning into laundry detergent, I was unable to go to work today.

What can I say? My hands were Tide.

Jokes About Laundry

If you enjoyed these funny puns and jokes about laundry, be sure to check out the rest of LaffGaff for lots more hilarious jokes, such as these:

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