Trouser Jokes And Puns

We’ve trousered all the best trouser jokes and puns just for you! There’s some belting jokes in this leg-endary collection!

Header image for a page of funny trouser jokes and puns.

Funny Trouser Jokes

Why doesn’t Bruce Banner tear his trousers when he becomes The Hulk?

Because the radiation altered his jeans.

What’s the difference between American dogs and British dogs?

The American dog pants while the British dogs trousers.

I locked my keys in the car so I took off my pants, rolled them up and rubbed them on the car door.

The car unlocked.

I’m so glad I was wearing my khaki trousers.

What does Thor wear under his trousers?


What kind of trousers keep your warm in the winter?

Hot pants.

I always wear two pairs of trousers when golfing.

In case I get a hole in one.

Who can repair my trousers’ zip quickly?

Taylor Swift.

A classics professor goes to a tailor to get his trousers mended.

The tailor asks, “Euripides?”

The professor replies, “Yes. Eumenides?”

“Trousers” is a fancy words for pants.

It’s a fancy pants word.

I just made a belt from watches but my trousers still fell down.

I guess that was a waist of time.

What do you call a man in paper trousers?


I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day…

But I couldn’t find any.

I’ve got a steering wheel stuck down my trousers.

It’s driving me nuts.

Two nuns are sat on a train, when a man gets on and pulls his trousers down.

One nun had a stroke, but the other couldn’t reach.

What do you call a man who wears crisp packets as trousers?


I bought convertible trousers.

They were 50% off.

I walked up to the cashier with my new waistcoat, jacket and trousers.

He said, “That will be £725.”

“What!” I replied, staggering back. “Do you intend to pocket the remaining £724.97?”

The cashier was baffled. “I don’t understand, sir.”

“The assistant over there told me it was a 3p suit,” I replied.

A man found a tennis ball while out jogging and put it in his pocket to give his dog back home.

As he stopped to wait at the traffic lights, a woman next to him couldn’t help but notice the large bulge in his trouser pocket.

“Tennis ball,” the man said, noticing her looking.

“Oh, that must be painful,” she replied. “I had tennis elbow once!”

“So is that a gun in your trousers or you are just happy to see me ?”

“Both, now get in the van.”

Carol, a blonde city girl, marries a Cornish dairy farmer.

One morning, on his way out to check on the cows, farmer John says to Carol, “The insemination man is coming over to impregnate one of our cows today. I drove a nail into the rail above the cow’s stall in the barn. You show him where the cow is when he gets here, OK?”

So then the farmer leaves for the fields.

After a while, the insemination man arrives and knocks on the front door.

Carol takes him down to the barn.

They walk along the row of cows and when she sees the nail, she tells him, “This is the one … right here.”

Terribly impressed by what he thought just might be another ditzy blonde, the man asks, “Tell me lady, how did you know this is the cow to be bred?”

“That’s simple; by the nail over its stall,” Carol explains very confidently.

Then the man asks, “What’s the nail for?”

She turns and starts to walk away and with complete confidence, says over her shoulder … “I assume it’s to hang your trousers on.”

I had a prostate exam the other day.

When I entered the examination room and asked the doctor where I should put my trousers, I have to say, “Over there with mine” was not the answer I was expecting.

Why does Tinkerbell never wear trousers?

She Peter Pans.

What did O say to Q?

Hey, put that thing back in your trousers.

One day, a Scotsman traveled to the big city.

He was impressed by all of the shops, the tall buildings, and the bustle of city life.

At one point, he came upon a storefront with a sign that read: Shirts: £3 Trousers: £5 Suit Coats: £10.

“O’ch, that’s a screaming good deal!” the Scotsman said to himself. “I bet that if I bought a heap of these and took ’em back home, I’d make me a fortune.”

The Scotsman figures that the shopkeeper won’t serve him if he knows that he’s Scottish, so the Scotsman walks in and asks, in his finest English accent, “Good sir, I should like to purchase 500 shirts, 300 pair of trousers, and 150 suit coats, please.”

The shopkeeper looks at him and says, “You’re Scottish, aren’t you?”

The Scotsman is flabbergasted and asks, “What? How did ye ken I was from Scotland?”

The shopkeeper responds, “Well, for one thing, we’re a dry cleaning service, sir.”

What do you call a pair of snakeskin trousers?


What trousers did Mendel wear?


What did the suspenders say to the trousers?

What’s up, britches?!

Jokes About Trousers

If you liked our puns and jokes about trousers, be sure to try on the rest of LaffGaff for lots more funny jokes, such as our ironing jokes and our laundry jokes, as well as these:

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