Online Shopping Jokes And Puns

Online shopping has boomed in popularity in recent years. Here’s a great collection of funny online shopping jokes and puns for you, completely free of charge!

Header image for a page of funny online shopping jokes and puns.

Funny Online Shopping Jokes

Why don’t cats like online shopping?

They purrfer a cat-alogue.

How does the Pope do his online shopping?

He uses Papal.

I went to the computer shop and told them our family computer has an internal part that has stopped working.

The shop assistant said, “Motherboard?”

I said, “Yeah, she can’t do online shopping anymore.”

Don’t you just hate those annoying pop-up ads when you’re shopping online for BBQs?

“Hot meat grills in your area.”

Why did the shopper stop in the middle of the road?

So she could do online shopping.

I was going to buy a rare spider from a pet shop…

Then I realised I could pick one up on the web.

I visited an online butcher shop today.

Google Meat.

The cops busted me for pinching clothes people had hung out to dry.

They called it theft.

I call it online shopping.

Sometimes I put lots of stuff in the cart and leave without paying.

What are your online shopping habits?

Whenever I joke about online shopping…

I always make sure it’s guaranteed delivery.

I ordered a pair of sneakers from an online shopping site and found them to be defective.

Is that an e-shoe?

You know, online shopping services are really successful nowadays.

Amazon is a Prime example.

My girlfriend and I went online shopping for clothes while I had Covid.

She says I have no taste.

There was this kid named Tim.

Tim really wanted to go to the school prom with a girl named Janet.

So one day, at school, he walked up to Janet and asked if she wanted to go.

She said yes!

Once she got home Janet told her mom.

Her mom was very excited for her and called all of their family to share the news.

Then, that weekend, Janet and her mom went dress shopping.

They looked and tried on several dresses until they found the right one.

Janet tried that one on and was very happy.

Meanwhile, Tim needed a tuxedo.

He looked online and found a great shop and put in an rental order.

The next week he came in and picked it up.

On the way home he picked up a corsage.

And once he got home, he ordered a limousine.

The day of the prom, Tim put on his tuxedo and grabbed the corsage just as the limo arrived to pick him up.

Then the limo took him to Janet’s house and her parents took a lot of pictures of the two of them.

Once their parents were finally done taking pictures, they left for the prom.

They bought their tickets and went inside and danced for a while.

And then, Janet asked Tim to get her something to drink.

He went to find something, but there was no punch line!

My sex life is exactly like my shopping.

I do it all online.

I was shopping online, and I was shocked to find how expensive my wife’s vibrators were.

She is sitting on a small fortune.

Our butcher sells sausages online…

But the link’s broken.

Why don’t cows shop online?

They prefer cattle-ogues.

Jokes About Online Shopping

If you enjoyed these puns and jokes about online shopping and are eager for more laughs, check out the rest of LaffGaff for lots more funny jokes, such as these: