You don’t have to be square to enjoy these top-Notch Minecraft jokes!
We couldn’t block you from reading these funny Minecraft jokes and puns any longer! We’ve mined all the best examples for you – so don’t be square, go ahead and enjoy them now!
I made fun of the official Minecraft Twitter account.
So they blocked me.
Don’t try to eat the chickens in Minecraft.
They’re too gamey.
How do Minecraft players avoid sunburn?
Sunblock.
I got Minecraft for my girlfriend.
Best trade I’ve ever made.
What is a zombie pigman’s favorite cereal?
Golden Nuggets.
What’s a Minecraft player’s favorite snack?
Notch-os.
Why is Minecraft so popular with kids?
Because they love to hang out on corners.
If Minecraft taught me one thing…
It’s to never spend diamonds on a hoe.
What’s Steve’s favorite sport?
Boxing.
What would Mark Zuckerberg add to the game, if he created MineCraft?
Data.
So he can mine it.
How do Minecraft players celebrate?
They throw block parties.
How can you tell Minecraft characters watch too much TV?
They all have square eyes.
I just love the new Minecraft update.
It’s ground-breaking.
Where do Minecraft players live?
In apartment blocks.
What’s the square root of Minecraft?
There’s three, actually. The potatoes, the carrots, and the beetroots.
What did Steve say as he faced off against a skeleton with a pick-axe?
I’ve got a bone to pick with you.
What happens to Minecraft characters when they turn 16?
They grow cubic hair.
What’s Steve’s favorite kind of dancing?
Square dancing.
How do Minecraft players measure their shoe size?
In square feet.
Why don’t some people ever tell Minecraft jokes?
Because people might think they’re square.
Why didn’t the enderman cross the road?
Because he teleported instead.
How do Minecraft players stay in shape?
They run around the block.
Steve walks into a bar.
The bartender says, “Sorry, we can’t serve miners.”
I’ve been playing Minecraft lately…
It’s a very top-Notch game.
How do Minecraft players stay fit?
They run around the block.
What genre would a Minecraft movie be?
A block-buster.
Why can’t you score against a basketball player who plays Minecraft?
They are always blocking.
Most blocks in Minecraft are one square meter. Where in Minecraft can you find a block that has only two square feet?
Whichever one the player’s standing on.
What do all Minecraft trees have?
Square roots.
What is a creeper’s favourite food?
Sssssalad.
Why are there no cars in Minecraft?
Because the streets are blocked off.
What do you call Minecraft on mute?
Mimecraft.
What is a ghast’s favourite country?
The Nether-lands.
What is the only Caribbean country to exist in Minecraft?
Cuba.
I hurt my finger playing Minecraft.
It’s okay. Just a minor injury.
How does Steve measure his boot size?
In square feet.
What do you call the Rocky Mountains in Minecraft?
The Blocky Mountains.
If someone made a sculpture in Minecraft of J-Lo…
Would you name it Jenny from the Block?
Two scientists are playing Minecraft.
One is new to the game and doesn’t know much about it.
At some point, he crafts a pickaxe, but doesn’t know what to do with it, so he asks the more experienced scientist.
Scientist 1: Bro, what should I do with this pickaxe that I crafted?
Scientist 2: Bromine.
What did Steve say to diamond block?
I dig you.
Why don’t blazes ever make businesses?
They keep firing people.
Friend: What is Minecraft?
Me: Hitler’s lesser known second book about his love of knitting.
You may not like Minecraft now…
But when the movie comes out, I assure you, it’s gonna be a blockbuster.
Communists don’t play Minecraft…
They play Ourcraft.
What do you do when you don’t want to talk to someone in Minecraft?
You block them.
Some guy on a Minecraft server thought that I was a hermit.
How dare he make such baseless accusations.
Why wasn’t the creeper invited to the party?
Because he had an explosive personality.
I won a Minecraft game without cheating.
I did it fair and cube.
What did the one element say to the other while they were playing Minecraft?
Bromine.
Have you heard about the creeper that went to a party?
He had a blast.
Why do kids love Minecraft?
Because they are minors.
I wondered how to set up a shop in Minecraft.
Then I realised you just have to mine your own business.
A creeper walks into a bar.
Everyone dies.
This guy lost everything to a grief raid.
You could say he hit Bedrock bottom.
Where did the creeper go after the explosion?
Everywhere.
Why didn’t the ghast ever do its chores?
It Nether had the time.
What do you call a snow golem in the desert?
A puddle.
How do you make a witch scratch?
Take away the ‘W’.
More Funny Jokes
If you enjoyed our hilarious jokes about Minecraft, why not explore the rest of LaffGaff for lots more funny jokes and other fun pages, including these:
