Here at LaffGaff, Batman is our favorite superhero. After all, Batman has the Riddler with his fantastic riddles, and then there’s the Joker too. And of course, there are lots of funny Batman jokes and puns around as well. Speaking of which, here is a collection of all our favorite Batman puns and jokes. Enjoy!
46 Funny Batman Jokes & Puns
What’s the difference between Batman and a shoplifter?
Batman can go into a store without Robin.
What do you call a beat-up Batman?
A bruised Wayne.
What did Batman do when he went shopping?
When Batman is investigating a crime, the most likely explanation is that the Joker did it.
That’s Arkham’s Razor.
My friend said to me, “Do you want to hear a really good Batman impression?”
I said, “Go on, then.”
He shouted, “NOT THE KRYPTONITE!”
I said, “That’s Superman.”
He said, “Thanks man, I’ve been practicing a lot.”
What does Batman put in his drinks?
What do you get when you combine Robin with a Vita-Mix?
Robin the Boy Blender.
Why would a pig dressed in black never get bullied?
Because Batman has sworn to protect goth ham.
Why does Batman only wear dark colors?
Easy. Batman doesn’t want to get shot. Why does Robin only wear bright colors?
Batman doesn’t want to get shot.
What happened when Batman & Robin were run over by a steam roller?
They became Flatman and Ribbon.
What do you call it when Batman skips church?
Robin: The batmobile won’t start.
Batman: Check the battery.
Robin: What’s a tery?
What’s Batman’s favorite Chinese dish?
Kung POW chicken.
Why is Two Face one of the best villains?
Because he’s not half bad.
What’s Batman’s favorite part of a joke?
The “PUNCH” line.
What does Batgirl wear to bed?
Her Dark Knight gown.
What would Batman do if he wasn’t rich?
He would be Robin.
My girlfriend and I went on our 9th date to see the new Batman film.
Our dates can be summarized as follows: Dinner, dinner, dinner, dinner, dinner, dinner, dinner, dinner, BATMAN!
My girlfriend said I’m starting to annoy her because I relate everything to Batman.
What a Joker.
What position did Bruce Wayne play on his baseball team?
He was the bat boy.
When does Poison Ivy change her underpants?
When they get soiled.
Where does Batman go when he wants to pee?
What does Batman do when he’s losing at cards?
He uses his Joker.
Where do Batman’s goldfish live?
In the Bat tub.
How many caped crusaders does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None. They prefer the dark.
Why did Bruce Wayne’s date go badly?
He had bat breath.
I emailed Netflix and asked if they had Batman Forever.
They said, “No, just until the end of June.”
What happens when Batman sees Catwoman?
The Dark Knight rises.
How does Batman like his coffee?
Black. Like the night.
Why did Batman rush to the Bat Cave?
He had to go to the Bat Room.
What did Batman say to Robin before they got in The Batmobile?
Get in the Batmobile, Robin.
What’s Batman’s favorite drink?
My girlfriend asked me if I thought she was wearing too much makeup.
I said it depended on whether she was trying to kill Batman or not.
Why doesn’t Batman have super vision?
His parents died.
Why did Batman and Robin quit going fishing together?
Because Robin ate all the worms.
Batman and Robin go camping in the desert one day. They set up their tent and then retire for the night.
Soon they are asleep.
Some hours later, Batman wakes his faithful friend, saying “Robin, lookup at the sky and tell me what you see.”
Robin replies sleepily, “I see millions of stars.”
“What does that tell you?” asks Batman.
Robin thinks for a minute, then says, “Astronomically speaking, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo. Chronologically, it appears to be approximately 3:15 am. Theologically, it’s evident the Lord is all-powerful and we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, it seems we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What does it tell you, Batman?”
Batman is silent for a moment, then says, “Robin, someone has stolen our tent.”
Sixteen sodium atoms walk into a bar…
Followed by Batman.
What’s Batman’s favourite fruit?
How does Batboy become Batman?
He has a Bat-Mitzvah.
Joker to Batman: “Hey Batman, wanna hear a joke?”
Batman: “Yeah sure.”
Joker: “Okay, parental love”.
Batman: “I don’t get it.”
Why does Batman wear a mask?
Because the citizens of Gotham aren’t morons, like those idiots over in Metropolis.
How do you get Batman into the Marvel Universe?
Hang him on the wall. Now he’s a Bruce Banner.
What’s the toughest part about being Batman?
Knowing that you’ll never make your parents proud.
What tea does Batman drink?
What’s the difference between a newly married Danish couple and Batman’s parents?
One couple are wed Danes and the other are Dead Waynes.
The Justice League has a vacancy and the number 7 is interviewing to fill a superhero position:
Batman: Thank you for coming, 7. Its been rough since the Flash took off and we’re having a hard time finding someone to replace him. Let’s get right to it. What is your first power?
Number 7: Well, for my whole life I’ve been in prime condition and I don’t anticipate that changing anytime soon.
Bathman: That’s great to hear. What do you consider your second power to be?
Number 7: 49.
More Funny Jokes
If you enjoyed our collection of Batman jokes and puns, be sure to check out the rest of our site for lots more funny jokes and laughs including these: