30 Stupidly Funny Newspaper Headlines

We guess the newsroom is such a busy place that sometimes there’s just no time for proofreading the news headlines. At least that’s the way it would appear judging by this selection of funny newspaper headlines from various newspapers around the world.

Genuine funny newspaper headlines

1. He Cracked The Case!

Smell Crack Headline

I wonder how long it took him to get to the bottom of that one?

 2. Making The Best Of Things

Soggy Holes Funny News Headline

If life’s dealt you two soggy holes, what else is there to do but just try and make the best of things?

 3. Who’d Have Thought It?

Pools Stupid Newspaper Headline

Urgh! There’s not much more to say really apart from this is stating the obvious…

4. If It Wasn’t For Those Pesky Kids!

Babies To Blame Funny Headline

Babies, eh, who’d have ’em? Personally, I blame the parents…

5. A Job For Life, Or Death?

Attorney Stupid Newspaper Headline

Hmm, I imagine there’s not exactly a queue for this job. It could be a never-ending cycle…

 6. An Unfair Advantage?

Hooker Stupid Newspaper Headline

Is this an unfortunate choice of words, or did she have an advantage from the outset?

7. Time Flies

Shorter Meetings Funny Headline

If time flies when you’re having fun, I guess those council meetings must be quite something…

8. Starving Students

Kids Cook Grandparents Headline

What are you to do as a poor, starving student who can’t afford to buy food?

9. You Don’t Say…

Starvation Funny Headline

Maybe this explains why the students were cooking grandparents in number 8 above…

10. What Companies Are These?

Death Of A Love One Headline

Should they really be publicizing these kind of companies?

11. Is That Why His Form’s Been So Bad Recently?

Tiger Woods Funny Headline

And I thought his game had gone off the boil because he’d taken his eye off the ball. Apparently, not…

12. What Did They Expect?

Federal Agents Funny Headline

Now I’m no Sherlock Holmes but I think even I could have predicted this…

13. Where Do Bears Go Again?

Bridges Rivers Funny Headline

And in other news, bears do their business in the woods…

14. Urgh – Was That You?

Sewer Smells Funny Headline

Hmm, something smells a bit funny about this one.

15. Can’t Be Bothered

Apathy Rally Funny Headline

I was going to write something really witty and funny about this one but I just couldn’t be bothered.

16. Dead Quiet

Homicide Victims Funny News Headlines

Have they tried using a ouija board – is that a voice from beyond the grave I hear?

17. Maybe Not Such A Miracle After All

Miracle Cure Funny Headline

Now call me ungrateful but I wouldn’t be too happy with this miracle cure.

18. The Stuff Scientists Know These Days

Flying Bugs Funny Headline

I wonder how much whoever did this research got paid for it?

19. That’s Shocking!

Death Killer Funny Headline

Surely they should be doing something to tackle this?

20. Crack A Joke

Crack Buttocks Funny Headline

I bet he was the butt of everyone’s jokes…

21. Shake It Up Baby, Now!

Earthquake Damage Funny Headline

Or maybe not, if you don’t want to cause earthquake damage.

22. Where Did They Dig This Up From?

Graveyard Dead Funny Headline

The body of evidence against the killer was overwhelming…

23. Business Isn’t What It Used To Be

Prostitutes Funny Headline

Can they really be called prostitutes if they’re not?

24. Makes Perfect Sense, Doesn’t It?

Headless Body Funny Headline

Well where else would you expect to find a headless body, if not in a topless bar?

25. They Shouldn’t Have Been Looking

Small Package Funny Newspaper Headlines

Hmm, I hope having a suspiciously small package isn’t an offence now!

26. Edge Of The Seat Radio

Eclipse Funny Newspaper Headline

What could be more exciting than listening to a lunar eclipse on the radio?

27. No Change

Remain Dead Funny Headline

At least they’re not the undead!

28. It’s The Small Things…

Midget Funny Newspaper Headline

How could he stoop so low?

29. Just Frog-get About It

Japanese Scientists Funny Headline

I toad you all this experimentation wouldn’t end well…

30. Rise Of The Undead

Cemetery Comeback Funny Headline

Oh no! It’s a zombie apocalypse!

Funny Newspaper Headlines

If you enjoyed this selection of funny newspaper headlines, be sure to check out our More Stupidly Funny News Headlines page, as well as all our funny jokes.