Clever Wordplay Jokes

We love clever jokes here at LaffGaff and they don’t come any more ingenious than these clever wordplay jokes. We’re sure you’ll enjoy them too; after all, a good sense of humor is a sign you’re in good shape psychologically!

Header image for a page of clever wordplay jokes.

30 Best Play On Word Jokes

Here is a great collection of really clever wordplay jokes. Enjoy!

Armageddon

I was helping my son with his homework and he asked me what Armageddon was. He got upset when I told him I didn’t know.

I thought to myself, “Come on, it’s not the end of the world, is it?”

Norwegian Navy

The Norwegian navy has started putting barcodes on their ships.

So they can scan da navy in.

Big Red Mark

My son asked me to take him to the hospital because he had a big red mark on his face.

I said, “Let’s not make any rash decisions.”

Brake Fluid

I’ve got a friend who’s addicted to drinking brake fluid.

He says he can stop any time.

English Language

The English language is pretty strange and confusing.

It can be understood through tough thorough thought though.

Cheap Skate

This guy offered me a go on his ice rink for $1.

I thought “What a cheap skate.”

Lost Luggage

I tried to sue the airport for losing my luggage.

I lost my case.

Money In The Bank

I’m addicted to having money in the bank.

I really do suffer from withdrawals.

Restaurant Manager

I got sacked from my job as restaurant manager today after one of my staff lost three fingers in an electric food mixer.

Apparently I failed to do a proper whisk assessment.

Assistant Manager

I’ve just landed a job as an assistant typist, helping with the capital letters.

It’s shift work.

Chest Hair

My wife claims that she can wax my chest hair without me feeling any pain at all.

I’m nervous she won’t be able to pull it off.

Alphabet Soup

You’ve heard of alphabet soup now get ready for…

Times new ramen!

Something Cuban

I asked my grandmother for “something Cuban” for my birthday, and she got me a Che Guevara shirt.

Clothes, but no cigar.

Blank Screen

My sister turned off the TV on me whilst I was watching it today.

After a few moments of staring at the blank screen, I thought to myself, “That’s not on.”

6 Cans Of Sprite

I went to the store to get 6 cans of Sprite.

I ended up picking 7 Up.

Angry Girlfriend

My girlfriend always gets mad when I mess with her red wine.

So I added some Sprite and oranges to it and now she’s sangria then ever.

Solar Eclipse

I tried using a colander to view the solar eclipse yesterday.

I think I’ve strained my eyes.

Full Dictaphone

I have a nagging, paranoid feeling that my dictaphone is close to full capacity.

Maybe I’m just reading too much into it.

Learning Braille

I asked my Dad what it was like learning Braille, but he didn’t want to tell me.

I didn’t realize it was such a touchy subject.

History Of Palindromes

My nerdy friend just got a PhD on the history of palindromes.

Now we call him Dr Awkward.

Tree Planting

Dr. Watson was again impressed by Sherlock Holmes’ diverse set of skills as Watson asked inquisitively as to what tree Sherlock was planting.

To which Sherlock replied, “Why, that’s a lemon tree, my dear Watson.”

Hypnotist

Last night a hypnotist convinced me I was a soft, malleable metal with an atomic number of 82.

I’m easily lead.

Time Machine

I bought a second hand time machine next Tuesday.

They don’t make them like they’re going to anymore.

At The Bus Stop

A guy is walking down the street one day when he spots a man with no arms or legs waiting at a bus stop.

He shouts out to him, “Hey buddy, how are you getting on?”

Crashing App

WhatsApp keeps crashing on my phone and won’t run properly so I’ve downloaded something called “The Bugs Bunny” to fix it.

It’s a WhatsApp Doc.

David Hasselhoff

David Hasselhoff calls his agent and demands, “I want everyone to call me Hoff from now on.”

The agent replies, “Sure, no hassle.”

4D Printer

How do you turn a 3D printer into a 4D printer?

Just give it time.

Star Wars Sweets

I’m really disappointed with the new Haribo Star Wars sweets collection.

They’re all chewy.

Half Indian

I’ve got a friend who’s half Indian.

Ian.

Store Robbery

I was at the Apple store today when it got robbed.

I guess that makes me an iWitness.

More Funny Jokes

If you enjoyed this collection of clever wordplay jokes, be sure to check out the rest of the LaffGaff website for lots more funny jokes, including these: