Simply The Best Knock Knock Jokes

Did you know that knock knock jokes can trace their origin to Shakespeare? Today, of course, knock knock jokes are more popular than ever despite, or maybe because of, the awful puns they usually involve. And as we love dreadful puns here at LaffGaff, naturally we love really funny knock knock jokes. So with that in mind, we’ve gathered together a collection of the best family friendly examples ever for you.

All our all-time favorite killer knock knock jokes are here, along with some you may not have heard before. We hope you enjoy them.

Header image for a page of the best funny knock knock jokes.

Really Funny Knock Knock Jokes

Before we get to the rest of our examples of funny knock knock jokes, let’s start with what in our opinion is the best knock knock joke ever:

Best Knock Knock Joke Ever

You: I know the best knock knock joke ever but you have to start.

Friend: Ok – knock knock!

You: Who’s there?

Friend: Errmm….

More Killer Knock Knock Jokes

Knock knock!

Who’s there?

Wurlitzer.

Wurlitzer who?

Wurlitzer one for the money, two for the show…

Knock knock!

Who’s there?

Claire.

Claire who?

Claire the way; I’m coming in!

Knock knock!

Who’s there?

Interrupting pirate.

Interrupt… ARRRRRRRRR!

Knock knock!

Who’s there?

Radio.

Radio who?

Radio not, here I come!

Knock knock!

Who’s there?

Impatient cow.

Impatient co… MOO!

Knock knock!

Who’s there?

Little old lady.

Little old lady who?

I didn’t know you could yodel!

Knock knock!

Who’s there?

Howard.

Howard who?

Howard I know?

Knock knock!

Who’s there?

Smell mop.

Smell mop who?

Eww, no thanks. I don’t want to smell your poo!

Knock knock!

Who’s there?

Cereal.

Cereal who?

Cereal pleasure to meet you!

Knock knock!

Who’s there?

Aardvark.

Aardvark who?

Aardvark a hundred miles for one of your smiles!

Knock knock!

Who’s there?

Wanda.

Wanda who?

Wanda hang out with me right now?

Knock knock!

Who’s there?

Eat mop.

Eat mop who?

Ewww! Eat your own poo!

Knock knock!

Who’s there?

Doris.

Doris who?

Doris locked. Open up!

Why did the chicken cross the road?

I don’t know.

To get to the idiot’s house.

Knock knock!

Who’s there?

The chicken!

Knock knock!

Who’s there?

Alpaca.

Alpaca who?

Alpaca the suitcase, you load up the car!

Knock knock!

Who’s there?

Wooden shoe.

Wooden shoe who?

Wooden shoe like to hear another joke?

Knock knock!

Who’s there?

Madam.

Madam who?

Madam foot got caught in the door!

Knock knock!

Who’s there?

Ho-ho.

Ho-ho who?

You know, your Santa impression could use a little work.

Knock knock!

Who’s there?

Mike Snifferpippets.

Mike Snifferpippets who?

Oh come on, how many Mike Snifferpippets do you know? Now let me in, it’s cold out here!

Knock knock!

Who’s there?

Hanna.

Hanna who?

…Hanna partridge in a pear tree!

Knock knock!

Who’s there?

Mikey.

Mikey who?

Mikey doesn’t fit in the keyhole!

Knock knock!

Who’s there?

Atish.

Atish who?

Bless you!

Knock knock!

Who’s there?

Yule log.

Yule log who?

Yule log the door after you let me in, won’t you?

Knock knock!

Who’s there?

Iva.

Iva who?

I’ve a sore hand from knocking!

Knock knock!

Who’s there?

Carmen.

Carmen who?

Carmen let me in already!

Knock knock!

Who’s there?

Sherlock.

Sherlock who?

Sherlock your door shut tight.

Knock knock!

Who’s there?

Scold.

Scold who?

Scold outside – let me in!

Knock knock!

Who’s there?

Nana.

Nana who?

Nana your business who’s there.

Knock knock!

Who’s there?

Lettuce.

Lettuce who?

Lettuce in already!

Knock knock!

Who’s there?

Ketchup.

Ketchup who?

Ketchup with me and I’ll tell you!

Knock knock!

Who’s there?

Justin.

Justin who?

Justin the neighborhood and thought I’d come over.

Knock knock!

Who’s there?

Isabelle.

Isabelle who?

Isabelle working, or should I keep knocking?

Knock knock!

Who’s there?

Harry.

Harry who?

Harry up and let me in!

Knock knock!

Who’s there?

Adolph.

Adolph who?

Adolph ball hit me in the mouf dat why I talk dis way!

Knock knock!

Who’s there?

H.

H who?

Bless you!

Knock knock!

Who’s there?

Thor.

Thor who?

Thor knuckleth from knocking!

Knock knock!

Who’s there?

Dishes.

Dishes who?

Dishes a nice place you got here.

Knock knock!

Who’s there?

Philip.

Philip who?

Philip my cup, I’m thirsty!

Knock knock!

Who’s there?

Robin.

Robin who?

Robin you! Hand over your cash!

Knock knock!

Who’s there?

Control Freak.

Con… Okay, now you say, “Control Freak who?”

Knock knock!

Who’s there?

Cash.

Cash who?

I didn’t realize you were some kind of nut!

Knock knock!

Who’s there?

Irish.

Irish who?

Irish you a Merry Christmas!

Knock knock!

Who’s there?

Boo.

Boo who?

Aww, don’t cry – it’s just a joke.

Knock knock!

Who’s there?

Ben.

Ben who?

Ben knocking for 20 minutes!

Knock knock!

Who’s there?

Abbie.

Abbie who?

Abbie birthday!

Knock knock!

Who’s there?

Omar.

Omar who?

Omar goodness, wrong door!

Knock knock!

Who’s there?

Orange.

Orange who?

Orange you going to let me in?

Knock knock!

Who’s there?

Panther.

Panther who?

Panther no panth, I’m going thwimming!

Knock knock!

Who’s there?

Police.

Police who?

Police stop telling these awful knock knock jokes!

Knock knock!

Who’s there?

Annie.

Annie who?

Annie one you like!

Knock knock!

Who’s there?

Oswald.

Oswald who?

Oswald my bubble gum!

Knock knock!

Who’s there?

Dozen.

Dozen who?

Dozen anybody want to let me in?

Knock knock!

Who’s there?

Needle.

Needle who?

Needle little money for the movies.

Knock knock!

Who’s there?

Avenue.

Avenue who?

Avenue knocked on this door before?

Knock knock!

Who’s there?

Martini.

Martini who?

Martini pants won’t fit you!

Knock knock!

Who’s there?

A herd.

A herd who?

A herd you were home, so I came over!

Knock knock!

Who’s there?

Adore.

Adore who?

Adore is between us. Open up!

Knock knock!

Who’s there?

King Tut.

King Tut who?

King Tut-key fried chicken!

Knock knock!

Who’s there?

Lettuce.

Lettuce who?

Lettuce in it’s cold out here.

Knock knock!

Who’s there?

Noah.

Noah who?

Noah good place we can get something to eat?

Knock knock!

Who’s there?

Robin.

Robin who?

Robin the piggy bank again.

Knock knock!

Who’s there?

Dwayne.

Dwayne who?

Dwayne the bathtub, it’s overflowing!

Knock knock!

Who’s there?

Butch, Jimmy and Joe.

Butch, Jimmy and Joe who?

Butch your arms around me, Jimmy a little kiss and never let me Joe.

Knock knock!

Who’s there?

Snow.

Snow who?

Snow use. I forgot my name again!

Knock knock!

Who’s there?

To.

To who?

No, to whom.

Knock knock!

Who’s there?

Cargo.

Cargo who?

No, car go “beep beep”!

Knock knock!

Who’s there?

Heidi.

Heidi who?

Heidi ‘cided to come over to play!

Knock knock!

Who’s there?

Goliath.

Goliath who?

Goliath down, thou looketh tired!

Knock knock!

Who’s there?

Howl.

Howl who?

Howl you know it’s really me unless you open the door?

Knock knock!

Who’s there?

Icing.

Icing who?

Icing so loud, the neighbors can hear!

Knock knock!

Who’s there?

Wendy.

Wendy who?

Wendy bell works again I won’t have to knock anymore.

Knock knock!

Who’s there?

Ken.

Ken who?

Ken you let me in?

Knock knock!

Who’s there?

Will.

Will who?

Will you just open the door already?

Knock knock!

Who’s there?

Ice cream.

Ice cream who?

ICE CREAM RIGHT NOW IF YOU DON’T LET ME IN!

Knock knock!

Who’s there?

Figs.

Figs who?

Figs your doorbell, it’s not working!

Knock knock!

Who’s there?

Alex.

Alex who?

Hey, Alex the questions around here!

Knock knock!

Who’s there?

Canoe.

Canoe who?

Canoe help me with my homework?

Knock knock!

Who’s there?

Moustache.

Moustache who?

Moustache you a question, but I’ll shave it for later!

Knock knock!

Who’s there?

Aida.

Aida who?

Aida sandwich for lunch today!

Knock knock!

Who’s there?

Broken pencil.

Broken pencil who?

Forget it – this joke is pointless.

Knock knock!

Who’s there?

Europe.

Europe who?

No, you’re a poo!

Knock knock!

Who’s there?

Annie.

Annie who?

Annie body going to open the door already?

Knock knock!

Who’s there?

Tank.

Tank who?

You’re welcome!

Knock knock!

Who’s there?

Roach.

Roach who?

Roach you a letter, did you get it?

Knock knock!

Who’s there?

Voodoo.

Voodoo who?

Voodoo you think you are, asking all these questions?

Knock knock!

Who’s there?

Al.

Al who?

Al give you a kiss if you open the door!

Knock knock!

Who’s there?

Witches.

Witches who?

Witches the way home?

Knock knock!

Who’s there?

Amos.

Amos who?

A mosquito bit me!

Knock knock!

Who’s there?

Weevil.

Weevil who?

Weevil weevil rock you.

Knock knock!

Who’s there?

Theodore.

Theodore who?

Theodore wasn’t open so I knocked!

Knock knock!

Who’s there?

Police.

Police who?

Police hurry up, it’s cold out here!

Knock knock!

Who’s there?

Euripides.

Euripides who?

Euripides jeans, you pay for them!

Knock knock!

Who’s there?

Yacht.

Yacht who?

Yacht to know me by now!

Knock knock!

Who’s there?

I did up.

I did up who?

Ha ha, you did a poo!

Knock knock!

Who’s there?

Thermos.

Thermos who?

Thermos be a better knock-knock joke than this!

Knock knock!

Who’s there?

Frank.

Frank who?

Frank you for being my friend!

Knock knock!

Who’s there?

Yourself.

Yourself who?

Your cell phone’s ringing, you better answer it!

Knock knock!

Who’s there?

Owls say.

Owls say who?

Yep!

Knock knock!

Who’s there?

Eileen.

Eileen who?

Eileene’d on the door and broke it!

Knock knock!

Who’s there?

Dewey.

Dewey who?

Dewey have to keep saying these jokes!

Knock knock!

Who’s there?

Pencil.

Pencil who?

Pencil fall down if you don’t wear a belt!

Knock knock!

Who’s there?

A little girl.

A little girl who?

A little girl who can’t reach the doorbell!

Knock knock!

Who’s there?

Keith.

Keith who?

Keith me, my thweet preenth!

Knock knock!

Who’s there?

Ya.

Ya who?

I’m excited to see you too!

Knock knock!

Who’s there?

Nobel.

Nobel who?

No bell so I knocked!

Knock knock!

Who’s there?

Santa.

Santa who?

Santa email reminding you I’d be here, and you STILL make me wait in the cold!

Knock knock!

Who’s there?

Goat.

Goat who?

Goat to the door to see who’s knocking!

Knock knock!

Who’s there?

Olive.

Olive who?

Olive you and I don’t care who knows it!

Knock knock!

Who’s there?

Luke.

Luke who?

Luke through the keyhole to see!

Knock knock!

Who’s there?

Henrietta.

Henrietta who?

Henrietta worm that was in his apple.

Knock Knock Jokes

If you’ve enjoyed this selection of the best knock knock jokes ever, then why not check out the rest of LaffGaff for more really funny jokes and laughter, including more knock knock jokes, as well as these:

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