Humor is universal across cultures, so what’s the difference between jokes you find on LaffGaff and other humor websites? That’s easy – we only publish the funniest jokes! And this collection of What’s The Difference jokes is no exception. So enjoy them!
Funny What’s The Difference Jokes
What’s the difference between a piano, glue, and a tuna?
You can tuna piano but you can’t piano a tuna.
What about the glue?
I knew you’d get stuck on that.
What’s the difference between ignorance and apathy?
I don’t know and I don’t care.
What’s the difference between a bowl of moldy lettuce and a depressing song?
One is a bad salad, and the other is a sad ballad.
What’s the difference between a Zippo and a hippo?
One is heavy while the other is a little lighter.
What’s the difference between a musician and a large pizza?
A large pizza can feed a family of four.
What’s the difference between unlawful and illegal?
One is in violation of the law and the other is a sick bird.
What’s the difference between Dubai and Abu Dhabi?
The people in Dubai don’t like the Flintstones but the people in Abu Dhabi doooooo.
What’s the difference between roast beef and pea soup?
Anyone can roast beef.
What is the difference between a step stool and a 3D printer?
The former is a ladder, while the latter is a former.
What’s the difference between walking up the stairs and looking up the stairs?
One is stepping up the stairs, the other is staring up the steps.
What’s the difference between a nun at prayer and a nun in the bath?
One has hope in her soul, the other has soap in her hole.
What’s the difference between an Italian barber and an angry circus ringmaster?
One’s a shaving Roman and the other’s a raving showman.
What’s the difference between a dad joke and a bad joke?
The direction the first letter faces.
What’s the difference between a blonde and a computer?
You only have to put information into a computer once.
What’s the difference between Iron Man and Aluminum Man?
Iron Man stops the bad guy, Aluminum Man foils their plans.
What’s the difference between a cranky two-year-old and a duckling?
One is a whiny toddler and the other is a tiny waddler.
What’s the difference between a cat and a frog?
A cat has nine lives, but the frogs croaks every night.
What’s the difference between an Indian restaurant and a Vietnamese restaurant?
Indian places are naan profit, Vietnamese places are pho profit.
What’s the difference between a seal and a sea lion?
One electron.
What’s the difference between a Harley and a Hoover?
The position of the dirt bag.
What is the difference between a well dressed man on a unicycle and a poorly dressed man on a bicycle?
Attire.
What’s the difference between a jeweler and a jailer?
One sells watches, while the other watches cells.
What’s the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman?
Snowballs.
What’s the difference between a stripper and a cocktail waitress?
About 2 weeks.
What’s the difference between an envelope and a window?
Nobody looks at you funny when you lick an envelope.
What’s the difference between a discharged sailor and a blind person?
One can’t go to sea, the other can’t see to go.
What’s the difference between Bigfoot and an intelligent blonde?
There have actually been sightings of Bigfoot.
What’s the difference between a cat and a comma?
One has claws at the end of its paws, the other has a pause at the end of its clause.
What’s the difference between black eyed peas and chickpeas?
Black eyed peas can sing us a song and chickpeas can only hummus one.
Whats the difference between a BMW and a porcupine?
A porcupine has pricks on the outside.
What’s the difference between a constipated owl and a bad marksman?
The latter shoots but can’t hit.
What’s the difference between a man with an unnaturally high voice and one with unnatural teeth?
One has a falsetto voice, the other has a false set o’ teeth.
What’s the difference between a casino and a church?
You actually mean it when you pray at a casino.
What is the difference between a Greyhound terminal and a lobster with boobs?
One is a crusty bus station and the other is a busty crustacean.
What’s the difference between God and a social worker?
God doesn’t pretend to be a social worker.
What’s the difference between a catfish and a lawyer?
One’s a bottom-dwelling scum sucker, the other’s just a fish.
What’s the difference between a Boy Scout and a guy who fixes bicycle horns?
One’s motto is ‘Be Prepared’, the other’s is ‘Beep Repaired’.
What’s the difference between a pick-pocket and a peeping tom?
A pick-pocket snatches watches …
What’s the difference between a fake dollar bill and a crazy rabbit?
One is bad money, and the other is a mad bunny.
What’s the difference between Spanish and dad jokes?
In Spanish, you roll your R’s and in dad jokes you roll your eyes.
What’s the difference between a man and a computer?
You only have to tell the computer once.
What’s the difference between the mafia and the government?
One of them is organized.
What’s the difference between a literalist and a kleptomaniac?
A literalist takes things literally. A kleptomaniac takes things, literally.
What’s the difference between Santa Claus and a dog?
Santa Claus wears a suit, and a dog just… pants!
What’s the difference between a mosquito and a fly?
A mosquito can fly but a fly can’t mosquito.
What’s the difference between communism and a pencil?
The pencil works on things other than paper.
What is the difference between a battery and a woman?
A battery has a positive side.
What’s the difference between bird flu and swine flu?
One requires tweetment and the other requires oinkment.
What’s the difference between COVID-19 and Romeo & Juliet?
One’s a Coronavirus and the other is a Verona crisis.
What’s the difference between in-laws and outlaws?
Outlaws are wanted.
What’s the difference between an oral and a rectal thermometer?
The taste.
What’s the difference between your file cabinet and your kidney?
One is for your information, the other’s for urine formation
What’s the difference between a radius and a diameter?
A radius.
What’s the difference between an amateur thief and a professional thief?
An amateur thief says, “Give me all your money!”
A professional thief says, “Sign here please.”
What’s the difference between Bear nuts and Deer nuts?
Bear nuts cost $1.49 and Deer nuts are under a buck.
What’s the difference between a hot potato and a flying pig.
One’s a heated yam, and the other is a yeeted ham.
What’s the difference between an asteroid and a meatball?
One is meteor.
What’s the difference between politicians and flying pigs?
The letter F.
What’s the difference between a simple person and a pizza?
One is easy to cheat, the other is cheesy to eat.
What’s the difference between The Sahara and Jello?
One is an inhospitable desert and the other is an in hospital dessert.
What’s the difference between a dog and a tree?
Their bark.
What’s the difference between a 16 ounce scale and a pianist?
One weighs a pound, the other pounds away.
What’s the difference between someone who bought a house and someone who practices their electrician skills?
One’s a home owner and the other’s an ohm honer.
What’s the difference between a camera and a sock?
One takes photos, the other takes five toes.
What’s the difference between a clown and an athletic rabbit?
One is a bit funny and the other is a fit bunny.
What’s the difference between a police officer and a bullet?
When a bullet kills someone else, you know it’s been fired.
What’s the difference between USA and USB?
One connects to your devices and accesses your data, and the other is a hardware standard.
What’s the difference between a spacecraft and an asteroid?
A spacecraft is really light, an asteroid is a little meteor.
What’s the difference between a mirror and a chatterbox?
One reflects without talking, the other talks without reflecting.
What’s the difference between a flea and a dog?
Dogs can have fleas but fleas can’t have dogs.
What’s the difference between an Indian and African elephant?
One of them is an elephant.
What’s the difference between an optimist and a pessimist?
One sees a glass half full, the other doesn’t care because the glass is going to fall and break anyway.
What’s the difference between weather and climate?
You can’t weather a tree, but you can climb it.
What’s The Difference Between Jokes
If you liked our What’s The Difference jokes, be sure to take a look at all our other funny jokes for lots more mirth and rib-tickling humor, including our What Do You Call jokes as well as these:
