We’ve found the key to unlocking laughter – these funny chastity belt jokes! We guarantee they won’t prevent satisfaction!
Funny Chastity Belt Jokes
All the good knights were leaving for the Crusades.
One knight told his best friend, “My bride is without doubt one of the most beautiful women in the world. It would be a terrible waste if no man could have her. Therefore, as my best and most trusted friend, I am leaving you the key to her chastity belt to use should I not return from the Crusade.”
The company of knights were only a mile or so out of town when they noticed a cloud of dust approaching. Thinking it might be an important message from the town the column halted.
A horseman approached. It was the knight’s best friend yelling, “Hey, you gave me the wrong key!”
King Arthur was preparing to go out on an expedition and would be away from Camelot for an indefinite period of time. He was worried about leaving Queen Guinevere alone with all those horny knights of the Round Table. So he went to Merlin for some advice.
The good wizard showed him his latest invention. It was a chastity belt… except that it had a rather large hole in the most obvious place.
“This is no good, Merlin!” the king exclaimed, “Look at this opening. How is this supposed to protect m’lady, the Queen?”
“Ah, sire, just observe,” said Merlin. He then selected his most worn-out wand,and inserted it in the gaping hole of the chastity belt whereupon a small guillotine blade came out and cut the stick neatly in two.
“Merlin, you are a genius!” said King Arthur.
After putting Guinevere in the device, King Arthur set out upon his Quest.
Several years passed before he returned to Camelot.
Upon arrival, he immediately assembled all his knights in the courtyard and had them drop their trousers for a ‘short arm’ inspection.
Sure enough, each of them had an amputated little Johnny or was damaged in some way. All except Sir Galahad.
“Sir Galahad,” exclaimed King Arthur, “The one and only true knight! Only you among all the nobles have been true to me. What is it in my power to grant you? Name it and it is yours!”
Sir Galahad was speechless!
I was going to buy a chastity belt until I checked the reviews online.
Customer satisfaction was terrible.