Ice Breaker Jokes

Whether you’re making a speech, hosting a staff meeting, at a party, on a first date, or just meeting someone new, humor is a great way to break the ice. It’s always good to have a some go-to funny jokes you can rely on, and so to help you out here’s a collection of our favorite funny ice breaker jokes that are perfect for any occasion. Enjoy!

This collection of funny ice breaker jokes has something for every occasion.

15 Funny Ice Breaker Jokes

How much does a polar bear weigh?

Enough to break the ice.

This guy is driving down the road one day, with twenty penguins in the back seat. Of course, he gets pulled over by a cop who tells him that he can’t drive around with penguins in his car and that he should take them to the zoo.

The guy says, “Yes, of course, officer” and drives off.

The next day though, the cop pulls the same man over again and finds he is once more driving around with twenty penguins in the back of the car.

The cop says to the guy, “Hey! I thought I told you to take those penguins to the zoo yesterday.”

The guy says, “I did, officer. And today, I’m taking them to the movies.”

“Before coming here tonight I was discussing my talk with my wife and she said to me: ‘Don’t try to be too charming, too witty or too intellectual, just be yourself.'”

When I meet women, I immediately start talking about global warming. It’s a real ice breaker.

One day, three older women were having a conversation about the memory problems that come with ageing.

The first woman said, “Sometimes I find myself standing in front of the refrigerator holding a jar of mayonnaise and I can’t for the life of me remember whether I need to put it away, or start making a sandwich with it.”

The second woman then said, “Yes, I know what you mean. Sometimes I’ll be stood halfway up the stairs and can’t remember whether I was on my way up or on my way down.”

The third woman then knocked her hand on the table and rather smugly said, “Well, I’m glad I don’t have that problem; knock on wood.”

As she rapped her knuckles on the table, she said, “That must be someone at the door. I’ll get it!”

You: “Titanic”

Them: “What?”

You: “Oh sorry, that’s not a good ice breaker.”

This one time, I met a girl in a bar in Canada. I started to tell her about my job working on an ice breaker.

It was a real conversation starter.

Why did the duck get kicked out of rehab?

He couldn’t lay off the quack.

Everyone is gifted, it’s just that some people never open the package.

There’s a bear den near my house, with three bears living there  – a sow, and her two cubs.

I was really confused by the way they acted for months. One day, I’d see them and they’d be happy and joyful as they frolicked gleefully about the forest.

Then other times I’d see them and they’d be really sad and miserable.

It went on like that for ages and I just couldn’t understand it: Happy, miserable, happy, miserable.

Then one day I figured it out. They’re bipolar bears!

Why are penguins socially awkward?

They find it difficult to break the ice.

I’ve started going up to peoples doors and preaching about my new gym.

It’s called Jehovah’s Fitness.

I moved into a bungalow recently.

I was going to move into a house, but that’s another storey!

Do you know what really bugs me? Discreetly placed microphones.

My girlfriend told me she needed to take a break from me.

So I gave her a Kit Kat.

More Funny Ice Breaker Jokes

If you enjoyed this collection of funny ice breaker jokes, check out the rest of LaffGaff for lots more funny jokes and humor that can also be used as ice breakers, including these: