Popsicle stick jokes have a (well earned!) reputation for being some of the most groan-worthy and painful jokes. And that’s why we love them of course – because they’re so bad, they’re funny!
They’re also very nostalgic for those of us who are of a certain age, stirring deep memories of our childhood days. And so we’ve collected together all the most funny popsicle stick jokes ever. We hope you enjoy them as much as us.
75 Funny Popsicle Stick Jokes
Below are our top bad but funny popsicle stick jokes to bring back memories of your youth!
Why did the fish have a bad report card?
Because all of his grades were under “C”.
What does one icicle say to the other icicle before leaving?
Why did the teacher jump in the pool?
To test the water.
What’s the best side of the house to put the porch on?
What’s a trees favorite drink?
Why did the foot smile?
He was toe happy.
What do you call a grizzly with no shoes?
Why do owls always get invited to bird parties?
Because they’re such a hoot.
What did the volcano say to his girlfriend?
I lava you.
What kind of pets does a band have?
What did Mr. and Mrs. Hamburger name their daughter?
How does thread get to school?
A spool bus.
What can you steal and not get in trouble?
How does a computer catch fish?
With its internet.
What do you say to a tent with a split personality?
You’re two tents.
How did the barber win the race?
He knew a short cut.
Why did Kayla go to the river when she was sad?
To fish for compliments.
What bird has the worst manners?
A mocking bird.
What time is it when you’re out of ice cream?
Time to die.
Why do bees have sticky hair?
Because they use a honeycomb.
How do animals blend into the desert?
Why did the policeman arrest the baseball player?
He stole 2nd base.
Why was the little strawberry crying?
Because his parents were in a jam.
Why didn’t the rooster go on the roller coaster?
He was chicken.
What’s a cow’s favorite activity?
Going to the moovies.
What kind of medicine did the bed take?
What’s the hardest thing about learning to ride a bike?
What kind of band plays snappy music?
A rubber band.
How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?
He gave her a ring.
What has three horns and gives milk?
A cow driving a car.
Quite possibly the worst popsicle stick joke ever!
How did Melanie improve her hearing?
She ate an ear of corn.
What kind of bird is always sad?
A blue bird.
Where do books sleep?
Under their covers.
What does a tree do when it’s ready to go home?
What do you call the last bit of snow to hit the ground?
Where did the elephant store its suitcase?
In its trunk.
What kind of fruit do trees like?
What book has the most words in it?
What was the musician’s favorite pastry?
Why didn’t the cashier laugh at Emily’s joke?
It didn’t make cents.
Why are cornfields the best listeners?
They’re all ears.
What animal should you never play cards with?
Why didn’t the lobster like to share?
Because he was shellfish.
Why didn’t the sun ever shine on the castle?
It was full of knights.
Why do most fish live in salt water?
Because they’re allergic to pepper.
What do you get if you stick a vampire outside in winter?
What did the golf player name his son?
Where do spaghetti and sauce go to dance?
The meat ball.
How do handymen get to school?
A tool bus.
What key won’t open any door?
What did the hot dog say after the race?
I’m the weiner.
What did the fish name his dog?
What crew mans a haunted ship?
A skeleton crew.
What’s the hardest thing about skydiving?
What word in the dictionary is spelled incorrectly?
How many apples grow on a tree?
All of them.
What do pigs and ink have in common?
They both go in a pen.
How do pigs talk?
What is a knight’s favorite fish?
A sword fish.
How did the hipster burn his tongue?
He drank his coffee before it was cool.
Why do ghosts never win races?
They’re always dead tired.
Where does the dog hate to shop?
At the flea market.
What did the boy otter say to the girl otter?
I am otterly in love with you.
Why didn’t the hockey player want to play for dinner?
He was a cheapskate.
What’s a golfer’s favorite drink?
What do you get from a pampered cow?
What is Forrest Gump’s email password?
Why are math textbooks always stressed?
They deal with so many problems.
Where did the cow take his girlfriend on a date?
To the moo-vies.
What did the dentist say to the marching band?
Here’s a tuba toothpaste.
What kind of music sticks with you?
What is a boxer’s favorite drink?
What did the banana say to the other banana?
I find you a peeling.
What are the smartest animals?
Fish, because they stay in schools.
Why do hummingbirds hum?
Because they don’t know the words.
More Funny Jokes
If you enjoyed our collection of funny popsicle stick jokes, then why not check out the rest of LaffGaff for lots more really funny jokes and laughs including our stupid jokes for kids and adults and our corny jokes, as well as these: